


I thought we were best friends

by vanilla107



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Freeform, I promise, I swear I'll write fluff, Swearing, There will be fluff, University AU, catadora is the main ship here, it gets steamy btw, maybe???, oh damn, rating it as teen and up because it might get steamy??, this idea just sorta came to me, this....this wasn't supposed to be angsty but look at this, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2019-09-18 06:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16989582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanilla107/pseuds/vanilla107
Summary: There was one thing that Catra knew for sure and that was Adora always tried to leave on good terms with her exes. She was friends with all of them, whether she saw them again or not. She didn’t like having bad blood with people and that included her ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends. That was probably why she was so well liked. Catra didn’t really understand why she’d still want to be friend with people who she had dated but if that made her happy so be it. If anything, this meant that they could still be friends, right?“Adora is my-” began the feline but was interrupted.“-Ex-girlfriend,” finished Adora.And Catra felt her heart shatter.





	1. Heartbreak is never easy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Everyone! Guess who fell down another fandom? ME. 
> 
> She-ra is everything and I adore (wow, unintentional pun) all the characters. I'll definitely write more for this fandom but work is quite hectic right now! I hope you enjoy! (Comments make me the happiest so if you're feeling generous, drop a comment and I'll burst into flames). I also meant to make this a one-shot but I guess my inner self was like "NO." I will be posting other one shots later but for my first contribution, here is this baby.
> 
> If you want me to write something specific for Catadora, drop me a comment and I'll see what I can do!  
> Stay healthy!  
> vanilla107

Catra sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror and ran a hand through her uncontrollable hair and her furry ears twitched. She was still wearing her pajamas and she was pretty sure the last time she took a shower was the week before.

“Scorpia! Do I really have to come with you tonight?” she groaned loudly so that her roommate could hear her from the lounge.

“Yes Catra! You _promised_ me that you would come to this party last week! It's Perfuma's monthly party!” Scorpia yelled back.

"Perfuma just wants an excuse to party!" Catra growled.

"She does it because she knows how stressful university can be! She's looking out for her friends by doing this every month," Scorpia argued back.

This caused the grumpy catgirl to flop face-first on her bed in defeat.

She couldn’t say no to her friend. Again.

The was a knock on the door and Catra let out a muffled, “Come in.”

The door creaked open and in walked Scorpia, looking glamorous in black jeans, a silver top and black heels. Her hair was slicked back with gel her bright red lips gave the feline a sad smile. She walked over to the bed and sat down, her voice soft as she began to speak.

“Listen, I know that it’s been difficult for you...after the break up with Adora-”

At those words Catra winced and Scorpia gently rubbed her back.

“-But you need to get out of your slump. I let you slump for two weeks and I’m getting worried. You haven’t gone to any classes and the last thing we need right now is your grades slipping.”

Catra wished that everything Scorpia was saying was untrue but she was right. She attended Brightmoon University, one of the most prestigious schools in all of the world and she had bunked for the last two weeks. She knew her lecturers weren’t going to be too pleased but she had to recover from...from the break up. Catra had been dating her childhood best friend, Adora, for the past four years and when they had broken up two weeks ago, she didn’t realize how much it was going to _hurt._ The fight they had on the night of their break up still replayed in her mind and there were so many things she wished she could take back.

Adora was the perfect example of a student. Always studying, trying her best and she did reap the rewards. She had many friends after joining a society and seemed to be thriving at university. Catra on the other hand, did the bare minimum because she knew that she was still going to get a degree either way but always did do better when Adora studied with her.

“Catra? Earth to Catra?” Scorpia’s voice broke Catra out of her daydream and she sighed in defeat.

“I’m sorry Scorpia….I guess...I guess I didn’t think this would be so hard!” Her voice cracked and she felt the tears drip down her cheeks.

“I still love her so much...I don’t know what I’m going to do at this stupid party if I see her,” Catra sobbed and Scorpia put an arm around the shaking girl. Catra's tail instinctively wrapped around Scorpia as she cried.

Scorpia felt sad for Catra but she was happy to help especially in situations like this. She hardly saw Catra emotional, as she always had her walls up but with her looking so vulnerable…Scorpia knew she had to do something. They had only been friends for a couple of years, nothing in comparison to how long Adora and Catra had been but still friends nonetheless.

“Okay, I know you’re sad but you need to get out of this funk. If we see Adora at the party and you don’t feel comfortable after an hour, we can go to the liquor store and drown out your sorrows at home. I know you'd want to leave the minute you see her but you can't avoid her forever. You okay with that?”

Catra sniffed and looked into Scorpia’s eyes, her yellow and blue ones glittering with tears.

“Okay...the second I feel uncomfortable after an hour, we leave.” Scorpia grinned and grabbed Catra by the wrist and pulled her to her closet.

“You go take a shower and then we’ll get you dressed! You bought that lovely red top last week and you’ll look great! Maybe with a skirt? No, you’d prefer jeans-”

Catra yawned but tried to think positively as she walked to the bathroom.

What was the worst that could happen?

*******************************

An hour later, Catra was standing at the snack table, drink in hand and the bass booming through her sensitive ears. The smell of sweaty bodies and vodka was nauseating but Adora hadn’t shown yet which made the party bearable. The music was pretty decent and she watched Scorpia dance with Entrapta, their other friend and Robotics major, on the dance floor. Entrapta was wearing black shorts, boots, a black vest and a sheer lilac button up over it. Her usually ponytails was one high ponytail and sections of it had been braided. Catra felt her body sway from side to side and she felt the urge to dance when one of her favourite songs started to play.

Catra was a good dancer.

No, she was a _great_ dancer but she didn’t feel like showing off tonight. She just wanted to watch from the side lines and she was grateful Scorpia and Entrapta understood that. She took a sip of her drink, the alcohol burning her throat, and finished her cup, allowing the liquid to run through her veins and hopefully loosen her up a little.

She sighed after waiting for the alcohol to kick in and decided to get some fresh air and motioned to Scorpia that she was going outside. Scorpia smiled and nodded and went back to dancing. Catra squeezed past the bodies of people and breathed a sigh of relief as she walked to the pool. She wasn’t a fan of water but she never went close to the edge. She sat down on a bench opposite the pool and let her body cool down.

“I might dance after this...at least the party has good music,” she murmured to herself.

“Definitely, it’s been a while since there’s been good music at a university party,” said a familiar voice from behind her and Catra jumped in surprise and turned to face the voice.

Catra felt her stomach drop as she faced Adora who looked radiant in a dark pink dress and her hair in a bun. The moonlight made a glow around her head and Catra tried to compose herself. 

“Adora! I...I thought you weren’t….”

“You thought I wasn’t going to be here?” Adora finished and she looked down awkwardly.

“Yeah…”

“I wanted to get out of the house…I...I needed to,” Adora whispered.

Catra froze.

“You...you didn’t bunk class...right?” Adora was silent, a soft breeze lifting her hair.

“No way...you actually bunked?” Catra stared and couldn’t help but laugh. “Damn, all those times I tried to get you to bunk with me and only now you do?”

Adora snorted but had a small grin on her face.

“I needed the break, Catra! Don’t tell me that you are totally innocent and have been attending classes.”

Catra stopped laughing and smiled. She had missed talking to Adora and even their stupid banter made the break up seem a little more manageable. There was one thing that Catra knew for sure and that was Adora always tried to leave on good terms with her exes. She was friends with all of them, whether she saw them again or not. She didn’t like having bad blood with people and that included her ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends.

That was probably why she was so well liked. Catra didn’t really understand why she’d still want to be friend with people who she had dated but if that made Adora happy so be it. 

If anything, this meant that they could still be friends, right?

*************

_“But why though? Why still be friends with them? I mean...your one break up was really messy,” Catra asked one day while walking to the stores. Their intertwined hands swung and despite the heat, they held on tight._

_“I just prefer it and yeah, that break up was messy but I managed to at least say that I still wanted to be friends. I know some people would rather not see each other but if we do I don’t want it to feel...gross. I don’t want any of that stupid ‘unresolved tension drama’. It’s exhausting,” Adora explained as she blocked her eyes from the hard sun beating down on them._

_“But why introduce them as your friend though? Why not your ex and then say that you’re still friends?” They walked into the air-conditioned store and grabbed a trolley before looking at their list of groceries._

_“I guess...I guess it’s because we were always friends first before the relationship. I’d never want to suddenly take that away from them y’know and give them some title like ex boyfriend or girlfriend. I wouldn’t want them to feel like we couldn’t be friends anymore.”_

************************************

The memory was burned into Catra’s mind and she gazed at Adora. They were always going to be friends first and that made her smile. It made sense to her now. After the breakup they didn’t talk to each other at all and it was hell for Catra. When she was in public and saw a wisp of dirty blonde hair or soft blue eyes that she ran away from it as fast as possible. She didn’t want to have the ‘let’s still be friends’ conversation because she was still hoping they would have a chance getting back together. After two weeks though of crying and moping, Scorpia wanted Catra to get better and going to the next party seemed like a good idea. If anything, Catra just wanted to be close to Adora again and if that meant having the painful ‘let’s still be friends’ talk then so be it.

“-But then Bow got fruit juice all over the place!” Adora exclaimed and Catra laughed.

“That’s what he gets for trying to balance ten cups all at once!”

The two burst out laughing again. After they calmed down Catra gave Adora a small smile.

"You...you look great by the way," Adora said and Catra noticed the light blush dusting her cheeks.

Catra wasn't wearing anything out of the ordinary in her eyes. Her beaded red top that she got on sale last week with her black skinny jeans and normal boots seemed normal to her but with her effortless confidence and flirty smirks, she knew she looked good.

"Thanks...you don't look too bad yourself...you Princess," Catra grinned as Adora went red.

"Don't call me that! You know I hate the nickname!" 

"But...you sorta asked for it...since you're wearing such a beautiful dress and oh my word are you wearing eyeliner? I thought you hated it!"

Adora rolled her eyes but she covered her smile.

“Shit, I missed this,” Catra sighed but immediately wished she hadn’t said it.

“I meant the talking! It’s been...it’s been quiet at Scorpia's apartment…since she's out all day with Entrapta,” Catra said quickly and Adora nodded.

“I missed it too...I got a new roommate and she’s was kinda shy at first but after warming up, she’s quite talkative. I guess she helped me in a way. I needed to talk to someone after you…you moved out.”

Catra swallowed uneasily and she mentally prepared herself for the conversation they were about to have.

“So...do you want to talk about where we...where we go from here?” she asked, her insides clenching in nervousness.

_Here it is, the ‘I still want to be friends’ conversation. Better brace yourself for hurt and tears later, Catra._

“Catra I...I...want....I still want-” Adora was cut off by a loud shriek that made Catra's ears lower in irritation.

“Adora!” a girl with sparkly purple hair in a deep purple dress barreled towards the two girls and looked at Catra up and down. Catra wanted nothing more than to have a normal conversation with Adora since they hadn’t spoken since their breakup but judging from her friend’s expression, Adora knew this girl.

“Adora! I found Bow! Oh, hi! I’m Glimmer, Adora’s new roommate I just transferred from another university.” the girl said, her voice noticeably getting softer with every word and gave Catra a small smile.

“Hi...I’m Catra. You look...awfully familiar,” Catra noted and Glimmer went red and she sighed.

“I...my mom, Angella, is one of your lecturers,” and Catra’s jaw dropped.

"Angella? Wow...” Catra said and tried not to laugh.

Angella was always encouraging her to do better and attend lectures more often but usually her words went over her head.

“Angella’s cool though so don’t be embarrassed. What are your majors?” Catra asked and Glimmer’s face instantly brightened.

“Politics and Weapons History. Since my mom lectures in it, I thought I’d follow.”

Catra looked at the girl and analyzed her. She seemed nice and she was their lecturer’s daughter so maybe having her on her good side was a good idea.

“Anyway, besides lectures, how do you two know each other?” Glimmer asked and Catra grinned as she heard the question.

_She’s my best friend. Always has been since we were kids. Yeah, we dated but we're still thick as thieves, right Adora?_

Catra opened her mouth, her answer already prepped.

“Adora is my-”

“Ex-girlfriend.”

And Catra felt her heart shatter.

She stared at Adora, wide-eyed. Did she just call her what she thought she heard?

_Ex-girlfriend?_

The word repeated itself in her head over and over.

She could feel her stomach roll and she inwardly cursed herself for having too much to drink even though it was just a cup of low-grade alcohol.

“Catra? Are you alright?” Adora asked and put a hand on her shoulder.

Catra flinched away and backed towards the house.

“No…I had too much to drink. I...I think I’m gonna get Scorpia to take me home.”

Without another word, Catra took off into the house and rushed to find Scorpia. Her tears blurred her vision and she eventually found her friends. She was standing at the drinks table, her skin shiny from dancing and laughing at something Entrapta had said. Catra grabbed her roommates pincers and yanked her towards the door.

“Catra! What the hell-!” Scorpia stopped in mid-sentence when she saw Catra’s watery eyes and trembling form.

“Let’s go home,” Scorpia whispered and Entrapta drove them back to their apartment, as she was the only one who was sober enough to drive.

The previous plans of getting drunk together went out the window and Catra tried her hardest not to break down in front of her friends. When they got home, Catra crashed into her bedroom and locked the door. Scorpia sighed as she switched on the tv and patted the seat next to her for Entrapta to sit on.

“Aren’t you going to check on her? I mean, Catra’s body language showed how upset she was and I’m sure she’d like comfort since people who are sad like comfort from friends,” asked Entrapta as she sat down and leaned her head on Scorpia’s arm.

"No...Catra...she likes being alone when she’s in such a state. She would prefer to rather talk tomorrow. She needs to be alone,” Scorpia said as she ran a pincer through the intelligent girl’s hair.

“Do...do you think she’s going to be okay?” Entrapta asked and looked at Catra’s door worriedly.

Entrapta would’ve usually jumped at the chance to analyze Catra’s behaviour but she knew how much Adora had meant to her and that the break up…had been really bad. In the bedroom, Catra cried quiet tears and punched her pillow in frustration.

 _What the hell? Since when do you call your exes your **exes** , Adora? What did I do to be called your ex-girlfriend? Was I really that terrible?_ She inwardly screamed. She collapsed in a tired heap and sobbed.

“What did I _do_ Adora? What did I do to get called the ‘ex-girlfriend’? I thought…I thought we would always be best friends before girlfriends isn't that what you said? What happened to that?”

Catra felt her eyes begin to close. She cried softly until she fell asleep.


	2. Heart break hurts like hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much angst. You are going to hate meee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! When I posted the first chapter of this fanfiction, I didn't expect to get so much feedback in one day! For everyone who commented and gave me kudos, you seriously made my day <3 Like I always say, comments make we write faster and motivate me, so...y'all know what to do if you want the third chapter out asap! ;) I'm also planning to release a different Catadora fanfiction soon, so be on the look out! (I know it sounds like a terrible idea because I'll be writing two different Catadora stories at once but...I DON'T CAREEE).
> 
> Stay healthy!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

Catra woke up slowly, the sun peeking through her curtains. She rolled over and checked her phone to see what time it was and she cursed.

It was 9:00 in the morning.

She never woke up so early and she blamed it on how early she had left the party last night.

_Last night._

All at once, the memories of the night before hit her and she clenched her sheets to keep herself from breaking down again.

“Breathe Catra. You’ll...you’ll get through this,” she whispered as she picked up her phone, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after getting a shock to the system.

She unlocked her phone and her breath caught in her throat.

13 missed calls from Adora.

She wanted to scream and cry. Was this a joke to Adora? Was she trying to mess with her feelings?

“Catra, don’t be stupid! Adora would never do that to you…” she whispered and opened up her text messages.

She had 34 messages.

 **Entrapta @ 10:00 pm**  
Hey Catra, I hope you’re okay <3

 **Entrapta @ 10:00 pm**  
If you ever need anything from me, just let me know

 **Entrapta @ 10:02 pm**  
I’m sorry you’re in so much pain...

 **Entrapta @ 10:07 pm**  
Do you mind if I study your emotional behaviour? I find it fascinating!

Catra rolled her eyes but felt a rare warmth grow from her chest. She knew that Entrapta has trouble expressing her emotions sometimes because she was so caught up in her science experiments and robots, but it was nice to see the rare Entrapta who cared about her friends. She replied with a black heart emoji and went into Scorpia’s messages.

 **Scorpia @ 10:05 pm**  
Hey feline. Remember you have us, okay? We love you.

 **Scorpia @ 10:06 pm**  
I’ll buy your favourite foods and we can have a movie day tomorrow, sound good?

 **Scorpia @ 10:07 pm**  
I have taken Entrapta’s phone because she will probably ask you questions about your emotional state and we _do not_ need that right now!

 **Scorpia @ 10:10 pm**  
THIS GIRL’S HAIR IS TRYING TO GET HER PHONE BACK AND IT’S KILLING ME

Catra chuckled and scrolled through the rest of Scorpia’s messages, mostly telling her what movies she planned to get and snacks. She scrolled down and her heart stopped.

She had messages from Adora and 2 unknown numbers.

 _Okay Catra, read Adora’s messages first. Rip off the band-aid._ She took a breath and opened it.

 **Adora @ 9:10 pm**  
Catra, are you okay? I’m worried about you.

 **Adora @ 9:10 pm**  
Please message me so that I know you’re okay.

 **Adora @ 9:20 pm**  
Even though we broke up it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you…

 **Adora @ 9:21 pm**  
I still want to talk to you about...us. Glimmer interrupted us last night and she feels really bad.

 **Adora @ 9:23 pm**  
Do you want to meet up for coffee sometime this week to discuss everything?

Catra breathed a sigh of relief when she read the last message.

_At least she hadn’t asked if we could ‘still be friends’ through a message. That would’ve sucked. But then again, Adora did always prefer talking face to face._

Catra thought about her response, because if there was one thing Adora hated more than anything, was her messages being read and then no reply.

“Wait? _What am I doing?_ Why should I be nice when Adora freaking ripped my heart out last night? Maybe I should leave it...I don’t want to send an angry message and drive this thing into a trench” Catra sighed and she decided she would reply to Adora’s messages when she felt calmer.

She then read the first unknown number’s messages.

 **Unknown @ 9:31 pm**  
Hey Catra. It’s Glimmer...I just wanted to apologize for last night. I disturbed you and Adora and I swear I didn’t know that you were the ex-girlfriend.

 _Wait what? The ex-girlfriend? Is that what Adora is seriously saying?_ Catra clenched her jaw and saw she still had a few more messages from Glimmer.

 **Unknown @ 9:32 pm**  
Catra...I think it’s best that you know that...she’s really hurt. Adora deserves the world and you two need to sort out your relationship once and for all.

Catra let out a bitter laugh.

“Is this girl seriously trying to give me relationship advice? She doesn’t even know what I’m going through yet she has the audacity to say that?” Catra rolled her eyes.

Catra saved Glimmer’s number and continued to read her messages.

 **Glimmer @ 9:34 pm**  
If you won’t sort out your problems with Adora then I will. I will be forced to intervene and help Adora myself. I can’t understand how you could go on knowing how much you hurt her.

Catra felt anger in her veins. “Is she….is she _threatening_ to take Adora away from _me?_ She doesn’t even know the whole freaking story!”

She felt a new found dislike simmer for the girl inside her. Glimmer had met her last night had one conversation with her. She was making assumptions on one meeting. Catra let out a growl in annoyance.

“How could _she_ be Angella’s daughter? She doesn’t seem to think rationally!”

She swung out of her bed and stomped to the kitchen were Scorpia was already making breakfast. Entrapta was sitting at their table, playing a game on her phone, while the scent of pancakes wafted through the air.

“Mornin’ Kitty, I hope you had a good-”

Scorpia stopped when Catra angrily slammed the bathroom door and Entrapta looked at her with worry.

“I thought you said she would be better? Why isn’t she in a better mood?” Entrapta said looking at the bathroom door the cogs in her head trying to figure out what was going on.

“I...I don’t know,” sighed Scorpia, as she flipped a pancake. “We can try to talk to her later...just be gentle with her, okay?”

In the bathroom, Catra opened the last unknown message, hoping to just get on with her day.

 **Unknown @ 12:00 am**  
So…you and Adora broke up?

Catra looked at the message in confusion. Who sent her this? She didn’t recognise the number at all.

 **Unknown @ 12:05**  
You may have left me but I still keep a very close eye on you, Catra. I told you that you’d never been good enough for Adora.

_I told you that you’d never been good enough for Adora._

Catra’s hands were shaking and she dropped her phone on the tiled floor. She could almost hear that voice in her head.

_How? How did she get my number? She should not be able to contact me!_

Catra stripped off her pajamas and hurriedly switched on the shower and hoped the hot water would somehow help ease the rising panic in her body.

But when she tasted her tears, she knew that it was not going to be a good day at all.

********************************

Catra swallowed the popcorn uneasily, the buttery taste only making her want to throw up. It was a few hours after she had received those messages and she was still spooked.

She was curled up in the middle of Scorpia and Entrapta and they were watching action movies, her favourite. Kill Bill was on and as Catra watched Uma Thurman slice a man’s head off, she breathed out slowly and felt the tears slide down her cheeks.

She felt Scorpia wrap her pincer arm around her and she let out gut-wrenching sobs.

“We got you kitty,” Scorpia murmured and Entrapta’s hair wrapped around them both. She shook with every breath and they were silent.

“Okay, I don’t know about you but I think we need some fresh air,” said Scorpia and Entrapta nodded.

“Research shows that fresh air and a nice walk help the body rejuvenate and release endorphins!” said the scientist happily and she immediately cleared their snack table and went to the kitchen to wash up.

“Really Catra, I think this will do you some good and what’s the probability of us bumping into Adora?”

“Zero...she usually has yoga on a Saturday afternoon. She probably invited Glimmer to go with her,” she hissed bitterly and Scorpia raised her eyebrow in confusion.

“Glimmer? Who’s that?” asked Entrapta as she sat down on the couch.

Catra sighed and repeated the events from the night before as well as Adora’s ‘ex-girlfriend’ conversation. She felt her vision swim with tears when she explained the crushing memory and buried her face into her knees.

“Does...does she not remember that conversation at all? How she always wanted to be friends with her exes? Why am _I_ suddenly the ex-girlfriend? What did I do? I never cheated on her or did anything seriously wrong. I know for a fact that Adora had worse partners before we started dating but why…?”

Catra was already tired and she deflated into the couch.

“It doesn’t help that Glimmer practically threatened me this morning…” she mumbled and gave Scorpia her phone to see the messages from Glimmer.

“Wow...she sounds like fun,” Scorpia said sarcastically and Catra snorted.

“That’s the thing though. She’s already judging me and acts like she’s been Adora’s friend her whole life when she literally popped out of nowhere!” Catra felt the same anger from this morning rush through her

“Catra, are you jealous that Glimmer might steal Adora from you?” asked Entrapta and Scorpia glared at her.

“What? We need to know this!” said Entrapta with reason. “If Catra is jealous then maybe Adora is trying to get you back by ‘fake dating’ Glimmer or trying to make it look like she's with someone else! Or maybe Glimmer is a rebound?”

Catra stared at Entrapta and Scorpia hoped that Catra wasn’t going to claw Entrapta right then and there.

“No...Adora...she wouldn’t do that to me...she’d never do something to hurt me like that…right?” Catra became quiet and Scorpia stood up suddenly.

“Okay, let’s go for that walk!”

****************************

Fifteen minutes later, the three of them were walking through the communal park, the sun shining brightly and bursts of laughter could be heard from the children playing in the playground. Catra strugged off her hoodie and gazed at the sun through her dark sunglasses.

“It’s so warm today!” squealed Entrapta as she took out her recorder. “I wonder if it will affect the plants if it suddenly had to rain tomorrow?”

Scorpia pointed to an ice-cream truck that had just parked in their direction.

“Ice-cream on me!” yelled Scorpia and they walked to the truck.

Catra got her vegan chocolate ice-cream since she was lactose intolerant, Entrapta got black cherry and Scorpia got strawberry. They continued their walk and Entrapta and Scorpia looked at each other with worry. Catra hadn’t said a word since they left the apartment.

“Hey, I have some bread crumbs that we can feed the ducks! Let’s go!” said Scorpia in a desperate attempt to get their feline friend out of her funk.

“Ohhhh...I can watch survival of the fittest in front of my very eyes!” shrieked Entrapta as she took off to the pond with her notebook in her hand.

“It’s okay, Scorpia...I...I think I’m going to find a bench and eat my ice-cream. Don’t worry about me, okay? I know I’m not being the greatest friend right now but I...I need to be alone...”

Scorpia sighed and nodded.

“Okay, but if there’s anything you need help with, just call me.”

Catra gave her a rare smile and walked away.

*************************

Catra found a shady bench and sat down, enjoying the brief reprieve from the beating sun. She wasn’t a huge fan of hot sunny days since it was difficult for her to get cool. Her fur didn’t help either and she always had to wear shorts and crop tops to get rid of the excess heat. She looked down at her blue cropped top and shorts.

It’s not that she didn’t like wearing them, it’s that a lot of catcalling tended to happen to her especially when she was wearing shorts and crop tops. Being an actual cat humanoid didn’t help either and she knew she couldn’t sucker punch the catcallers because when she did that once, she nearly beat the guy to a pulp. Thankfully, Adora was there and she stopped it from happening.

She ate her ice cream and smiled sadly.

_I wish I could be happy with Scorpia and Entrapta. They're my friends and they’re trying so hard to make me happy._

She closed her eyes and listened to the sounds around her, her ears flickering to a new sound each time. She tried to relax and slowly felt herself letting her guard down and unwinding from the vision of everyone.

Being alone helped. Catra had been alone for most of her life anyway, and being an orphan wasn’t fun. Adora was the only light in her life in her darkest periods and she wished that things could’ve been simpler for them-

“Hello? Catra?”

A voice woke Catra from her thoughts and she inwardly groaned.

_Why was it so hard to be alone for just a few minutes?_

She opened her eyes and clenched her jaw when she saw Glimmer standing in front of her.

“What do you want?” Catra growled, venom dripping off of her tone.

Glimmer’s eyes widened and she glared at the feline.

“What I want is to talk to you about Adora.”

Catra let out a humourless laugh.

“Oh? You want to talk to me about my ex-girlfriend? How I hurt her when the only one who seems to be hurting is me? How I seemingly _don’t care?_ Well how about this, you stay out of my business and stop claiming like you know Adora and our relationship when you barely know her and me.”

Glimmer was visibly angry, her hands clenched into fists.

“Well I wouldn’t have to intervene if you just spoke to her! Do you have any idea how much Adora has _cried over you?_ I’ve lived with Adora for the past two weeks and I think I know her better than you do!”

Catra snapped and she didn’t hold back. She didn’t care how harsh her words were going to be, she just needed to put this little insect in her place and not bother her anymore.

“And how am I supposed to do that when you, an annoying little _mosquito_ , keeps hovering around? Honestly, Glimmer I was going to give you a chance because you seemed nice but your messages this morning really changed my mind. Are you trying to steal Adora from me when she’s the only person that has ever been there for me since we were kids? Because that’s what it looks like. And _you?_ Know more about Adora than me? Don’t make me _laugh_.”

Catra was breathing heavily and Glimmer looked angry but also looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“Adora was the only one looking out for me when we were younger. I don’t think you realise how deep the pain we’re feeling goes. You need to _back off_ and let us sort out the problem. This is between me and her. Not you. Once we sort out this thing between us, I’ll be out of your life and you can have her for yourself since you want to be with her _so badly._ ”

“I do not want to be with Adora!” Glimmer hissed but her red cheeks gave it away.

“Oh really? You think I didn't notice how long you stared at her last night? I know you like her, Glimmer. Don’t deny it,” Catra purred, a smirk forming on her face.

“I...I-” Glimmer began but then her eyes widened and Catra spun around to see Adora, standing there in her yoga tights, yoga mat and tank top, frozen in shock.

Catra gave Glimmer a poisonous smile.

“Oh look, your _girlfriend_ is here to protect you. Guess I’ll leave now.”

Catra walked away, her body warm with rage. She turned at a corner but stopped when she felt a hand on her forearm.

“Catra, what’s going on?” the familiar voice like honey asked, concern evident.

Catra felt her heart squeeze. She loved how Adora said her name.

“I’m leaving you two lovebirds alone. Now let me go,” Catra said sharply but Adora didn’t let go of her.

“No! I don’t understand! Why are you so angry with Glimmer? What did she do to you?” Adora demanded.

“It’s not just Glimmer!” Catra said harshly and spun around to face Adora.

“It’s _you_. Glimmer claims that you’ve cried over me. Well guess what? I’ve cried _every single day_ over you. Last night was the first time that I left the house in two weeks and that’s because Scorpia dragged me to Perfuma’s party. I didn’t want to be there because I knew you were going to be there.”

Adora looked hurt and Catra continued.

“You always said that you liked being on good terms with your exes. So what makes _me._ _so. damn. special._ that I get called the _ex-girlfriend_ huh? Do you not remember the conversation we had at all?”

There was silence between them and Catra sighed. She needed to leave before anything else was said to hurt either of them. She looked into Adora's clear blue eyes and clenched her hands into fists to avoid her from grabbing Adora and begging her for them to be together again.

“Bye, Adora,” Catra whispered and she walked away.


	3. Heart break makes people do crazy things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This the longest chapter I've ever written and I have to say I'm proud of myself. I love writing club scenes because anything can happen in a tipsy state ;) Again, thank you for the feedback <3 The comments really make my day ten times better and I love reading your reactions. If you want to see where I got the choreography inspiration for Catra in this chapter, search Mad Love Jade Chynoweth and you'll see how I pictured Catra dancing!
> 
> Stay Healthy!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo
> 
> Songs used in this chapter:  
> Take it off - Kesha  
> Mad Love - Sean Paul, Becky G and David Guetta

“Scorpia...we need to help Catra,” Entrapta said looking at Catra’s door worriedly.

“I know but what are we supposed to do? At this point it's like she doesn't want to see the light of day again!” Scorpia said and threw her pincers up in frustration.

The two friends were in sitting on the couch in Scorpia’s apartment a week after the Glimmer and Catra incident and things had not gotten better. Catra had messaged Scorpia that she was leaving the park and Scorpia had dragged Entrapta away from the ducks to go find her. They found her walking out of the gates in tears and her tail dropping, and had walked home together in silence.

When they got home she turned to them and retold them what had happened between her and Glimmer and Adora in the park. She then went to her room and had stayed there for most of the day, only coming out for food and to use the bathroom.

Scorpia and Entrapta had developed an intense dislike for Glimmer since the incident.

Catra had now missed nearly three weeks worth of lectures and Scorpia felt her worry increase for her friend. Scorpia had begged Catra to attend her last lecture on Friday just so that she would go to class. Entrapta had finished her lectures at ten and Scorpia had no lectures on a Friday so the two decided to meet and try to brainstorm what they could do for their friend.

“Ugh this is all my fault!” mumbled Scorpia putting her head in her pincers. “If only I hadn’t taken her to the party and the park this wouldn’t of happened!” Entrapta squeezed the girl’s shoulder.

“You just wanted to make Catra feel better. It’s okay,” she comforted.

Scorpia sighed and gave the Robotics major a small smile.

“Thanks...I just want her to forget her problems for a while that’s all.”

“Hmmm...well...there’s this new club that opened a few weeks ago on Third Street. It’s called Mystacor...I know the owner so she could get us in for free and without us having to wait in the queue...maybe we could take Catra to that?”

Scorpia sighed, “I don’t know...the last party I dragged Catra to ended up with Adora being there.”

“Look, the list is _long_. And when I say long I mean exactly five pages worth of people who want to get in. The probability of Adora and Glimmer being there is slim. And when I say slim I mean-” The girl paused for a minute and smiled, “0.05% chances of her being there.”

Scorpia pondered and looked at the girl with a spark of hope in her eyes.

“You think she’d agree to it?”

“Catra loves dancing right? Maybe this will give her a boost back in the right direction. Maybe the party last week was just too soon.”

Scorpia sipped her tea and murmured,”I really hope this works.”

****************************************

Catra stared at the flashing lights, the people already on the dance floor and the bar that had bright blue and purple drinks emerging with from the bartender. Mystacor was spacious but packed with people already. There was a mini stage for people who wanted to show off their moods as well as stripper poles.

She had been told that those were just here for decoration but she already saw people ‘letting out their inner hoe’ on those poles. She didn’t mind, they were having fun and clubbing was supposed to be about getting out of your comfort zone. She was sitting with Entrapta and Scorpia in the VIP section watching everyone from a secluded area.

“Entrapta...how do you know the owner exactly?” she asked turning to face the purple haired girl.

“Oh, I set up the light show for her when she told me about the club. She said I could bring any friends whenever I wanted and had a booth at the VIP section.”

Catra looked at her outfit and tugged at her sheer red top and Scorpia laughed.

“Kitty, you look fine and if you have any doubts...there were some hot girls and guys eyeing you earlier…” Scorpia winked and Catra rolled her eyes but shoved her playfully.

Scorpia had decided to buy Catra new clubbing clothes and had dragged her to the stores. She settled with a black lacy bralette, a red sheer shirt and high waisted black shorts. She paired it with ankle boots so that her feet wouldn’t hurt halfway through the night. Her leather jacket was on her lap, already too hot for her to wear in Mystacor.

“I’m not here to get a rebound Scorpia but...this is kinda nice. Thanks for taking me out even though I put up a fight with you two,” Catra said looking down guiltily.

“Let’s not lament over the past!” Entrapta exclaimed with a bright smile.

“Entrapta, I know I said I was sorry, but I literally punched you in the face because I didn’t want to go with you,” Catra said, deadpan but they all burst out laughing.

“But you’re smiling now! And I have concealer!” Entrapta said producing a small tube of the product.

“Okay, I’m going to go talk to the bartender and score us some drinks and you two can hit the dance floor!” She walked away, her hips swaying to the music and Scorpia grinned.

“Let’s go dance and don’t worry, if you get tired you can sit here. But I want at least one dance with you, okay?” Catra nodded and walked with Scorpia to the dance floor.

A fast paced song came on and the dance floor pulsed with energy.

_There's a place downtown where the freaks all come around_

_It's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free for all When they…_

Catra could slowly feel herself unwind and her body began to move. Scorpia squealed internally because her friend was finally having fun. The Catra that didn't give a damn about what other people said.

_When the dark of the night_

_Comes around, that's the time_

_That the animal comes alive_

_Looking for something wild..._

Catra felt her heart race as she danced to the chorus feeling better than she had in weeks. She squeezed Scorpia’s pincers gratefully and spun around her. She laughed as they danced together. Scorpia could tell the chorus was coming up again and decided to be a little daring.

“Hey Catra! You should totally get up on stage!” she yelled.

Catra’s eyes widened as she looked at the stage occupied by three people who were twerking to the song.

“I don’t know…”

“It’ll be fun! I’ll be right there with you!” Scorpia yelled over the music.

They had to push through the dance floor to get to the stage. Catra felt Scorpia push her onto the stage and found herself staring at a sea of people.

_There's a place downtown_

_where the freaks all come around_

_It's a hole in the wall,_

_it's a dirty free for all!_

Catra calmed her nerves and found herself dancing, allowing the beat to move through her. She flowed with the music and hadn’t realized that she had captured the attention of the rest of the club. There was something hypnotic about how she moved and Scorpia thought she was going to combust of happiness. Entrapta was cheering from the bar and soon everyone was screaming and cheering the feline on.

_And they turn me on when they take it off_

_When they take it off, everybody take it off_

_There's a place I know if you're looking for a show_

_Where they go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor_

_And they turn me on when they take it off_

_When they take it off, everybody take it off!_

Catra finished her dancing and the club erupted into cheers and whistles. She grinned and saw Scorpia signal her so that they could get their drinks at their table. She was sweating already but she hadn’t felt so good in such a long time. When she got to their table her friends squealed.

“Catra, oh my word, that was amazing!” said Entrapta handing her a purple cocktail with her hair.

Catra grinned as she took a sip of her cocktail, the cool fruity drink helping her. Catra could feel her muscles hating her a little, pain slowly setting in.

“Damn, I am unfit,” she chuckled knowing that because she hadn’t been exercising ever since the break up.

“Well, your body can hate you tomorrow! I already got five people giving me their numbers to give to you!” Scorpia smirked and fished out the pieces of paper and a napkin from her bag.

Catra stared at them and she rolled her eyes.

“It’s flattering but I’m just here to have fun. You can throw them away and-.”

As she said those words her eyes saw a flash of blonde hair and her heart constricted.

“Catra? Are you okay? What’s wrong-?” Scorpia asked but then saw what Catra was staring at.

Adora was in the club. With Glimmer.

“I thought...I thought there was like a 0.05% of her being here!” Catra hissed and Scorpia looked at Entrapta for a solution.

“Don’t look at me! There was a 0.05% chance that she’d be here! Don’t ask me how she managed to get on the guest list- _Oh_ …”

“Oh? Oh what!” Catra yelled and Entrapta pointed to Glimmer as she hugged a female dressed in a lilac and gold knee-length dress.

“That’s the owner, Castaspella. I assume that she must know Glimmer.” Catra groaned as she watched Glimmer take Adora to the dance floor.

“Catra, do you want to go home?” Scorpia asked holding the feline’s hand and Catra’s stomach churched.

_Yes. I want to. I want to go home and never come outside again._

She took a deep breath and looked at her surroundings. If Scorpia had asked her if she wanted to leave a club after a break up two months ago she would've said no. Clubbing was the one place she could let loose and that she enjoyed outside of university. She looked into Scorpia’s and Entrapta's eyes and replied.

“No. I can’t let Adora and Glimmer dictate where I go and what I do for the rest of my life. I need to...I need to let go,” she said gripping the table uncertainly.

Scorpia placed her pincer on top of Catra’s hand. “You sure Kitty? I don’t want you to get hurt again. I will fight Glimmer and you know that.”

Catra nodded and sipped her drink.

“I have to do this. For me. But I'm not _necessarily_ telling you to _not_ fight Glimmer,” she grinned.

Entrapta signaled the DJ and Catra’s ears perked up at the sound of her most recent favourite song.

_Jiggle up your body_

_Jiggle up your swing, swing_

_Love me, love me like that_

_Love me like we ain't never let go!_

_Love me, love me like that_

_Poco a poco, muy, muy lento_

_Take your time and do it just like we were in Jamaica or New York_

_Love me, love me like that_

_Love me, give me some mad love!_

“How did you-?” Catra began and the girl waved her hand.

“I saw your playlist and guessed it was your favourite. The DJ and I have some history and will play whatever I want! Now go! The song is on and you need to be up on that stage!”

Catra smiled gratefully and hugged them. “Thank you guys,” she semi yelled and Scorpia looked at Catra with fire in her eyes.

“Catra...show Adora what she’s been missing.”

The feline smirked and downed the rest of her cocktail, feeling the alcohol pump through her veins.

“She won’t know what’s hit her.”

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Love me, give me some mad love!_

Catra strutted out of the VIP section and got back on stage, the crowd cheering when they recognized her.

She ran a hand through her hair and she was pretty sure Entrapta screamed, “Damn Catra!”

This caused Glimmer and Adora to look up and Catra saw Adora’s eyes widen in shock.

_Show her what she’s missing._

And Catra began to dance to the beat.

_Been there preparin', your body insane_

_Still my girl 'cause you know how to swing_

_Jiggle up your body, jiggle up and sing, sing_

_And gyal say never, you a relentless thing_

_Stepping in, 'bout to get it but you ever look hot_

_I'm the queen, boy, you know that you never get flopped (woo)_

_Are you ready fi a night of loving?_

_With the stamina king, hear your body calling!_

She popped her chest to the beat and flicked up her hands sharply before letting them flow with her leg movements. She bodyrolled and swayed her hips from side to side. She positioned her hands in front of her chest and slide them down her body before stopping at her pelvis then quickly brought them back to her chest before sliding them over her torso.

_Good Lord, girl, you going too hard_

_Gyal ya light up the place when I'm spreadin' the two apart (oh, yeah yeah yeah)_

_Good Lord, why you make it so hard? (Why you looking it so hot?)_

_Ain't I good enough for you?_

_You're ready but oh my god (bidi bang bang bang)_

She did a quick spin and landed on her knees before rolling her head and shrugging her shoulders. She popped her hips before sliding her torso onto the stage so that she was on the floor but her butt still popped out. She came back into her normal sitting position before rotating her hips slowly. Catra stood up and and brought up her upper body slowly, her hands unbuttoning her shirt and she swore the cheering got louder. She knew she looked good in her lacy bralette and shorts and grinned at the crowd. She threw her shirt behind her and got back into the rhythm as the chorus repeat.

_Love me, love me like that_

_Love me like we ain't never let go (never let me go)_

_Love me, love me like that_

_Poco a poco, muy, muy lento (blaze it)_

_Take your time and do it just like we were in Jamaica or New York!_

_Love me, love me like that_

_Love me, give me some mad love!_

She swayed her arms and moved them in time with her hips. She kicked out her left leg and quickened the pace of her arms before stomping on the ground and making a circle. Catra flicked up her hands once more before rolling her body again with more vigor. She slowly rotated her hips as she bent down into a crouch and looked directly at Adora, who seemed to be bright red.

She kept the eye contact as she bodyrolled, and to her satisfaction, Adora still kept eye contact, not even noticing how Glimmer was trying to get her attention. Catra turned her back to the crowd and popped her butt and the audience roared. She only had one more verse before the song ended so when she stood up she gave it her all.

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Love me, give me some mad love!_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Watch the tempo_

_Love me, give me some mad love!_

Catra krumped her body and popped her hips to the music, her energy releasing into the club. She freestyled the last few moves before kneeling on the stage, her hand trailing down her mouth to her chest and looked directly at Adora, who seemed to be in a trance. The club erupted into a applause, whistling and cheering and Catra picked up her shirt and walked back to her friends.

“Catra what the fuck! You were fucking amazing!” Scorpia screamed excitedly and Catra felt giddy.

“I can’t remember the last time I danced like that! Damn it felt so fucking good!” Catra exclaimed.

Entrapta arrived with celebratory shots, four for each of them.

“To Catra!” Scorpia yelled and they clinked their glasses together before downing the shots.

They had giddy conversations as song after song played and Catra stretched her muscles. After a few more drinks, Catra knew her bladder was going to betray her if she didn’t go. “

I gotta go to the toilet. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Catra grabbed her jacket and wrapped it around her waist and left the VIP section once more. She walked to the female bathrooms and stared at it in awe. It was massive and had a giant mirror near the basins which were cemented into white marble counters. It was brightly lit and had intricate patterns on the tiled floor. There were quite a few girls there but they didn’t pay her any attention as they were touching up on their makeup. She went to the nearest stall and did her business. Before she could flush the toilet, a pop song hummed from the club and all the girls screamed in excitement and left the bathroom.

Catra walked out of the stall and washed her hands before looking into the mirror and noticing how the little makeup Scorpia had put on her had still stayed in tact when she had danced. She took out her lip balm and made sure that they were smooth before bumping into a person.

“Sorry I-,” Catra said with surprise before recognizing who was standing in front of of her.

Her eyes swept the blonde’s body, the girl wearing white shorts, gold boots and a sequined gold top. Her eyelids were a gold shadow fading into black and her eyeliner was sharp enough to cut someone.

“Adora…”

“Hey...Catra,” Adora murmured and they stared at each other for what seemed like the longest time.

“So...how’d you get in? Mystacor is pretty popular,” Adora asked and Catra shrugged.

“Entrapta set up the light show. Owner said she could bring her friends whenever she wanted for free. You?”

“Glimmer’s aunt is the owner. I’m her plus one.”

Catra clenched her fists and tried to think rationally. She knew she was slightly, if not completely tipsy.

She was just buzzed.

Not full on drunk.

She could still process rational thought.

“Plus one? So you moved on that quickly, hmm?” she jabbed.

Catra tried to not let the jealousy seep through but she was a petty girl.

“Catra...please just let me explain, Adora pleaded and Catra leaned against the counter.

She let out a sigh.

She was tired of fighting and crying.

“Okay, I’m listening. This better be good,” Catra growled.

She was feeling great for the first time in weeks and she wanted this to be over. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the buzz of adrenaline she was feeling but she was ready for answers. Adora took in a deep breath and exhaled. She faced Catra and all at once, she started speaking very fast.

“I’m sorry about the ‘ex-girlfriend’ thing. I didn’t know you’d react to strongly to it and I was still planning to talk to you about it afterwards but you dashed out and then you lashed out at Glimmer last week Saturday and-”

Adora closed her mouth and sighed. She hopped onto the marble counter and intertwined her hands tightly. She took another deep breath and sounded calmer when she spoke.

“I saw Glimmer’s texts to you and I was angry at her for telling you to basically stop seeing me. I understood she was trying to help me but she only made you angrier. I heard the whole conversation between the two of you on Saturday and I was confused and angry at myself. I wish I had spoken to you sooner but I feel like that would’ve been a bad idea...since we both take time to deal with heartbreak.”

Catra swallowed uneasily and she took a few steps forward so that she was just a few steps away from Adora.

“So...what is your reason for calling me the _ex-girlfriend_ then?”

Catra looked into Adora’s eyes and saw tears in them.

“Catra, you were my worst breakup _ever_. I cried every day and I didn’t want to talk to _anyone_. I felt completely alone for the first time even though I was in a society filled with friends-”

Adora’s voice cracked and she had to compose herself for a minute.

“When Angella asked me if I had space for someone to room with me, I said yes because I was desperate for company at that point. Glimmer was willing to listen to my heart ache and we became good friends very quickly. I didn’t tell her everything though, which probably lead to her jumping to conclusions...I should’ve been more clear that we were still working through it. I remember our conversation about the ‘ex-girlfriend’ thing and I had a reason as to why I called you that last week.”

Catra was on edge and her heart was beating fast. Her tail was slightly fluffy in fear and she nodded.

“Why did you call me your ‘ex-girlfriend’ at Perfuma’s party?”

“Because I never wanted to view you as _‘just a friend’_ after our break up! The pain I was in...could _never_ compare to the pain my other exes put me through.”

“B-but you’ve had worse partners! How did _I_ hurt you _more?_ ”

Adora let out a laugh and tears slid down her face. Catra wanted nothing more than to wipe them away.

“I never lost just my _girlfriend_ when we broke up. I lost my _best friend_. My _partner_. I lost the _one person that meant the most to me_ since we were kids.”

Adora paused and swallowed uneasily.

“I felt that a piece of my heart had been ripped out and nothing could replace it. I didn’t mean to call you ex-girlfriend to hurt you in anyway at the party. I called you ex-girlfriend because I didn’t want to be _‘just friends_ ’. I was going to talk after the party but you left...” Adora took a deep shaky breath and looked into Catra’s yellow and blue eyes.

“You may have not been the worst partner but our breakup was definitely the worst, Catra. I always managed to bounce back from relationships but with this one I _couldn’t_...I felt like I was sinking over and over again. If anything, calling you an ex-girlfriend at the party was really fucking stupid on my part and I still want to be friends with you it’s just that-”

“-You still want to be with me as well?” Catra asked and walked closer to Adora, her tipsy mind trying to absorb everything.

“You...you want to get back together?” she whispered and Adora but her lip nervously.

Catra lifted up her hands and brushed away Adora’s tears, her skin warm and soft. Adora shivered and Catra cupped her face in her hands.

“What about Glimmer? She obviously likes you,” Catra asked, trying to not let the bitterness show.

“I explained to her that I’m...that I’m not over you. I still want to be with you.”

Catra’s whole body felt like it was on fire. Even after all of their drama Adora still wanted to be with her. They still needed to talk through a lot of what had happened between them but for now...just the fact that Adora saying she wanted to still be together with her...made her heart beat faster.

“Glimmer probably isn't fond of that idea now is she?” Catra murmured as she slowly rubbed her hands up and down Adora’s arms, noticing the goosebumps that appeared on her skin.

“She needs to realize that you are part of my life. And you always will be. If she can't accept that then…” Catra chuckled as she wrapped her arms around Adora’s neck, realizing how close they were.

“As much as I think you're super cute for liking me so much, I don't think you should cut Glimmer off just because we're together again.” Adora smiled gratefully,“Guess it's the alcohol talking.”

“Woah _wait?_ You _drank_ tonight? First bunking class and now drinking? Since when did you become so adventurous?” Catra purred and Adora pulled her closer to her body.

Adora was looking down at Catra, since she was sitting on the counter but her legs dangled to the side of the brunette’s body.

“I needed to relax. Alcohol isn't my first choice but it was probably the quickest. And what do you mean by ‘when did you become so adventurous?' I skinny dipped last summer in that lake before you!”

“Because Frosta _dared_ you! I'm ten times more adventurous than you!”

Adora’s face was a lovely shade of pink and she giggled. Catra leaned in and hugged her tightly, her arms wrapping around her waist.

‘I’ve missed you so much, Adora.”

“I missed you too,” Adora breathed out, her body melting into Catra’s.

The stayed like that for a while, radiating warmth and the feeling of their bodies together. Catra buried her face into Adora’s neck and she breathed in the familiar smell of pine and citrus. Her hands gripped the back of her sequined top and she felt Adora sigh.

“Can...can I kiss you?” Catra whispered as she pulled away slightly.

She did not want to overstep her boundaries, especially since they were on the road to getting back together. Adora seemed to take a minute to process what she had just asked her and Catra’s eyes widened when Adora smirked.

“Since when do you have to ask permission to kiss me?” she said teasingly as she took one of her hands off of Catra’s neck and trailed her fingertips down the feline’s cheek.

“I didn’t think you’d say yes after everything we went through! I wanted to be cautious!” Catra said a blush flaring on her face. “Is that a yes though?” she murmured leaning her face in, only a few centimeters away.

Her eyes found their way down to Adora’s soft pink lips.

Adora leaned in and Catra felt the pent up tension break between them as their lips met. She pulled Adora roughly against her, the sudden hit of craving everything about the girl consuming her suddenly. Adora moaned softly and Catra felt her senses go ballistic. Adora tasted like vodka, cranberry juice and her berry lipgloss.

Catra was well aware that they were still in a public bathroom where anyone could walk in on them at any moment.

She pulled Adora’s hair out of it’s ponytail and ran her hands through it, being careful to not scratch her with her nails. Catra could feel her animal instincts kick in and a deep purr vibrated in her throat as they kissed. She felt Adora giggle through the kiss and Catra’s hands found her waist and massaged small circular motions into her waist. Catra broke off the kiss and began to slowly kiss Adora’s jaw making her way down to her collarbone.

“Shit….Catra...I...we can’t make out _here!_ ” Adora said sharply as she tried to shake the fogginess from her mind but she gasped as she felt Catra bite down into the flesh of her neck.

“Catra...I’m still going to be seen in public, dammit! You can’t just leave hickeys on me!” the girl complained but didn’t show any resistance.

“What happened to being adventurous, hmmm, princess?” Catra teased before she left another hickey on Adora’s collarbone.

“You are such an-”

“An amazing girlfriend?” Catra asked before capturing her girlfriends lips again.

Their kisses became desperate, trying to make up for lost time. Catra bit Adora’s bottom lip and smirked when Adora’s tongue slid into her mouth. The dull thud of the bass being played through the speakers was the only thing reminding Adora that they were still in a club.

“Catra, stop being so...needy for a minute! We need to stop,” Adora said breathlessly as she broke off the kiss and Catra pouted.

“We can...go back to my place…” Catra purred and pressed her lips to the blonde’s again, who relaxed into her arms but broke it off.

“Oh my fuck you are so-”

“-Irresistible? Charming? Sexy?”

Adora shoved the feline off of her playfully and Catra thought her heart was going to burst. Adora’s hair was a mess and her neck was covered in love bites, each one painfully obvious against her milky skin. She looked disheveled and Catra had to remind herself that she did _that_. Adora hopped off the counter and tied up her hair into a neat ponytail once more. She turned around to face the mirror and glared at Catra through the mirror.

“How am I supposed to go out with these”, Adora motioned to the hickeys decorating her neck, “and not get asked questions?”

Catra walked forward and untied her leather jacket from her waist and draped it over Adora's shoulders. "There, that should cover it for tonight."

She wrapped her arms around Adora’s waist and nuzzled her neck.

“Pff, you just got hickeys from the life of the party tonight! Besides...I saw you watching me on stage,” Catra murmured as she gently kissed the nape of Adora’s neck.

“Yeah...you were...you were incredible,” Adora murmured as she spun around, her body now facing Catra. She wrapped her arms around her once more and pulled her in for a deep kiss.

“Now who’s being needy?” Catra said her voice low when they broke apart. Adora rolled her eyes and but kissed her again, savouring the scent of Catra’s skin and how their bodies just fit together. They continued to kiss, sharing memories  and giggling at the childish adventures they had when they were younger inbetween.

“I think we need to get going...Scorpia and Entrapta will be wondering where I am…” Catra sighed as she looked down at their intertwined hands.

“You’re right...Glimmer must be looking for me…”

They looked at each other.

“One more?” Catra asked seductively, her tail curling around Adora’s wrist.

Adora wrapped her arms around Catra’s neck one more time before pressing her lips on hers. Catra held Adora’s waist and tilted her head to deepening the kiss. Catra started purring again and was about to travel down Adora’s neck again just to leave more hickeys when the bathroom door slammed open.

“Catra! Are you-?” Entrapta froze when she saw her friend and Adora.  she smiled widely as they tried to detangle themselves from each other.

“Entrapta I can explain-”

“I’m sure you can but right now there’s a bigger problem!” Entrapta yelled and exited the bathroom.

Adora and Catra looked at each other in confusion.

“We can continue this later,” Adora said softly, the blush evident on her cheeks.

“Yeah, let’s go see what's going on,” sighed Catra and she followed Adora out the bathroom.

The two walked out, their pinkies intertwined, not really wanting to ever let go.

 


	4. Heart break can destroy you inside and out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tears. Lots of tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay damn. Firstly, why are y'all so thirsty for violence like damn??? Most of you were hoping for a freaking fist fight between Scorpia and Glimmer and that made me laugh way too hard. I won't be updating this fanfiction for a little but because Christmas is coming up soon and I gotta focus on my family and friends. <3 Thank you again for all your lovely comments! (There might be a Christmas Catadora fic on here in a few days soooo just keep a lookout for that!)
> 
> Stay healthy!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

The two exited the bathroom, their minds still dazed at their fervent make-out session when there was a scream from the middle of the dance floor.

“This must’ve been what Entrapta was talking about!” Catra yelled to Adora over the music.

They shoved through the mass of people and stared at the sight before them. Adora gasped and Catra put a hand on her shoulder to steady her.

“Adora what is going-?”

Catra’s jaw dropped as Glimmer punched Scorpia square in the jaw. The crowd of people screamed again and Catra immediately ran to her friend’s aid. Entrapa was already there, holding Scorpia back from retaliating.

“Scorpia? Are you okay?” she asked and her friend winced in pain.

Catra glared daggers at Glimmer, who already had a bruise forming on her arm.

“What the _hell_ is wrong with you?” Catra spat as Castaspella ran up to the scene.

“Glimmer! What is the meaning of this?” Castaspella demanded and Glimmer looked around, suddenly very aware of what she had done.

“I...I…” Glimmer began but ran towards the exit.

“Glimmer wait!” Adora screamed and ran after her.

Catra gently touched her friend’s cheek and sighed.

_What the hell is going on?_

****************************************

Catra was up early the next morning, tending to her bruised friend while Entrapta made breakfast. They had gone home immediately after the violent fiasco and had gone to bed all of them feeling pretty wiped out, Entrapta sleeping on the couch. They were too exhausted to talk after it all and decided that it would be best to rather talk the next morning.

“Y’know...I surprisingly spend a lot of time here even though I don’t live here…” Entrapta said into her microphone and she smiled as she watched the eggs fry on the stove. “Maybe I should ask Scorpia if I can move in! But what if there’s no space? I could always sleep in the bathroom...it would definitely test my adapting skills!”

“Or...we could just give you the _spare room_ next to mine,” Catra said with a snort as she took out an ice pack from their freezer and wrapped it in a hand cloth.

“C’mon, let’s get some ice on that bruise,” she said she walked to her friend sitting on the couch looking quite hungover. Scorpia took it and gently touched it on her skin.

“Ohhhh, it’s turning purple!” Entrapta said, her eyes going wide with interest.

“Not now Entrapta. I think Scorpia would prefer to not be seen as a science experiment,” Catra said warily as she sat down on the couch and looked at her friends bruise that was slowly getting more and more purple.

"Sorry...but it _is_ my favourite colour! And...you look good in purple Scorpia,” Entrapta said trying to be more positive and Scorpia laughed softly.

“It’s okay Catra. I guess I underestimated Glimmer. She can really pack a punch,” the muscular girl said and winced as she shifted the position of the ice pack.

“What happened anyway? Why did she punch you in the face?”

Scorpia groaned, “I can’t...remember! I guess I was so hyped that you were finally happy that I drank too much…”

Catra shrugged her shoulders and patted Scorpia on the shoulder.

“Try asking other questions Catra, maybe they’ll trigger different memories?” inquired Entrapta from the kitchen.

“Okay...well do you remember why Glimmer seemed angry? Did you say anything at all to her?” Scorpia screwed her eyes shut and thought deeply.

“I approached her…”

“Wait you did?” asked Catra, confused.

“Yeah...oh _shit_...I yelled at her-” Scorpia took a throw pillow from the couch and screamed into it before looking at Catra again.

“I said she needed to mind her own business about you and Adora. I guess I was really angry with her especially after the park incident. I said some mean things like…”

“Like…?” Catra encouraged.

“That she was a snobby girl who needed to stop pining on a girl who’d never be interested in her…?” Scorpia trailed off and groaned into the pillow again.

Catra couldn’t help but giggle.

“How is this funny to you?” Scorpia asked her voice panicked. “I pissed off your ex-girlfriend’s friend!”

Catra choked on her saliva when Scorpia said ex-girlfriend and Entrapta walked up to them holding their plates of eggs and bacon with her hands and hair. She had the biggest shit-eating grin on her face and Catra blushed.

“Well...Catra and Adora aren’t exes anymore…” Scorpia’s eyes widened and she looked at Catra expectantly.

“So...what did you _do_ in the bathroom last night, hmm?”

Catra hid her face behind her hands in embarrassment.

“Oh my- We did not _do_ what you’re thinking! We just kissed that’s all,” Catra tried to play it off smoothly but Entrapta had to open her big mouth.

“It wasn’t just kissing! It was so passionate Scorpia! They had their arms around each other and they were whispering as they kissed and Catra looked so in lo-”

“Entrapta I will rip your mouth off if you don’t stop talking _now_ ,” Catra threatened and Entrapta grinned as she ‘zipped’ her mouth.

“So...you two are definitely back together?” Scorpia asked as she turned the ice pack around and placed it on her cheek.

“I...I think so. We still have _a lot_ to talk about but...I think we’re on the right track,” Catra murmured and Scorpia sighed.

“Well you’re definitely going to have to discuss how we fit in too. I mean Adora is friends with someone who punched me. And you were also jealous of her.”

Catra rolled her eyes.

“Don’t worry. We’re meeting up this afternoon to talk it all out.”

Scorpia nodded and laid her head on the couch cushion. “I think I need to sleep.”

Catra smiled and got up and packed her bag with all her necessary items.

“Where are you going? You only need to see Adora later unless...” a smirk played on Entrapta’s lips and Catra glared at her.

“No, I’m running _errands_. I’ll be back after my visit to Adora.”

Catra said bye to her friends and walked out the apartment.

******************************************************

The orphanage was still the same.

Ugly, dreary and grey.

The dead grass and burglar bars only made it seem like a prison. Catra didn't like lying to her friends but this was something she had to deal with by herself. She was hit with memories from her time there and she clenched her fists.

_Go in. Go and show her you’re stronger._

She walked in and knocked on the door, her tail going fluffy in fear but tried to remain calm.

_She can not scare you anymore._

_You are not afraid._

The door opened and her long black hair was the first thing Catra saw.

“Catra. Well, I’m disappointed but then again that was always the case with you,” she said her eyes narrowing.

“Nice to see you too Shadow Weaver,” Catra said through gritted teeth. “Let’s keep this brief. What is your problem and why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about you-!”

_Remember why you’re here. Get it over with and be calm._

“Why are you sending me text messages about Adora? I left the orphanage when I turned eighteen! I’m out of your life so what is your problem?” Catra said calmly.

“My problem is that Adora is with _you_. She is wasted potential with you. You are _nothing_ in comparison to her and she deserves someone _better_ , someone who will push her to be better and stronger. You _need_ her by your side to thrive. I wonder how you’d fail if you didn’t have her in your life?”

Catra was struggling to breathe. Years of abuse were rushing back to her and she was struggling to not cry.

“Why do you hate me! What did I ever do to you?” she screamed, her last shred of calm breaking.

“Oh Catra, even after all your time spent here, you still don’t know? Pathetic,” Shadow Weaver laughed and slammed the door.

Catra only then realized how badly she was shaking.

She turned around and ran to the nearest quiet spot as far as she she could get away from that wretched woman. She found a good spot in a communal garden and sat down, her tears hot and angry. The buried memories that she had tried to keep at the back of her mind resurfaced and she heaved, trying not to throw up.

“Breathe. Just breathe,” she whispered.

Catra got up and wiped her tears away hastily and took a few calming breaths.

“I’m sure Adora wouldn’t mind if I’m early. If anything...she’ll be impressed,” Catra said with a little laugh.

She rolled back her shoulders and stood tall and tried to walk off Shadow Weaver’s words that pierced her heart, little by little, with every step.

***********************************************************

Catra walked into the apartment and she inhaled the home-y smell of pine and citrus. The apartment hadn’t changed since she had moved out and she flopped onto the couch, already feeling ten times better. Adora’s golden laugh made her heart beat faster and she joined Catra on the couch.

“So, you’re early and yes, I am surprised. Got anything else up your sleeve, Catra the Magician?” she asked with a raised eyebrow, her smile infectious.

“Why yes, close your eyes and let Catra the Magician blow your mind and take you to another world,” Catra said wiggling her fingers as if magic would shoot out of them.

Adora giggled and closed her eyes and Catra grinned as she leaned in and pressed her lips to hers. Adora’s eyes fluttered open for a split second then closed as she sighed into the kiss. Catra slowly shifted her body onto Adora’s, sitting on her lap and Adora wrapped her arms around her waist. Their noses bumped but they laughed it off before they resumed kissing. Adora’s hand ran through Catra’s hair, Catra immediately purring and her tail curling in happiness.

“I think we...need to get into the more serious topics…” Adora murmured their kisses slowly becoming more soft.

“Fiiiiine,” Catra said as she seated herself next to Adora and realization hit.

“Wait, is Glimmer here? Have you told her we’re-?”

“No, she’s not here, Catra. And don’t worry, I haven’t told her yet. Angella actually picked her up this morning. She...she hasn’t been feeling well since last night.”

“Oh...well, karma I guess,” Catra said offhandedly.

“Wait...what?” Catra looked at Adora, who seemed to be irritated.

“ _What?_ Glimmer _punched_ Scorpia in the _face_.”

“So that justifies her throwing up all night and day?” Adora said her temper rising.

“Well maybe if Glimmer just kept her nose out of our business then none of this would’ve ever happened!”

“And what about Scorpia? She-” Adora faltered and stared at Catra.

“Scorpia...she must’ve stung Glimmer. That’s why she’s so sick-”

“-Are you being serious? Scorpia hasn’t stung anyone in five years! And all the times she did sting someone, was because she was protecting someone! And last night she was protecting me!”

“Why are you protecting her? She hurt Glimmer!”

“Well, Glimmer hurt me and _you_ didn’t do anything about it!”

“I talked to her and you know that!” Adora snapped.

“Well it’s not like you ever tried to protect me!”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you left _me!_ ” Catra exploded and the apartment fell silent.

She was was shaking again and there was no stopping what she had to say on her mind.

“You _left_ me, Adora. How was I supposed to ever believe you were going to be there for me, when you left when I _needed_ you the most? I sent you letters! I snuck out and tried phoning you and you never visited. And you _promised_ you would.”

“C-Catra...that...that was years ago…” Adora stuttered.

“-But it’s still a memory I can’t forget. We always looked out for each other and when you left who looked out for me? _No one._ You got adopted. The golden girl. I had to stay with...with Shadow Weaver-”

“-But what does this have to do with anything?” Adora asked in disbelief.

“It has to do with _everything!_   When did we first meet after you got adopted?’

“At...our first volleyball match…”

“Yes, our first match. The Princesses versus the Horde. We saw each other after _four years,_ Adora. _Four fucking years_.”

Adora was quiet.

“Four years of _no contact_ and...I...I was just _so happy_ to see you that my anger towards you just disappeared. We hung out and it was like old times and I was so happy to have you back in my life. Eventually...we started dating and I didn’t want to bring up those bad memories at all. I hid them from you. I haven’t told anyone how it was when you left.”

Catra wasn’t sure when she started crying. She only felt the wetness on her cheeks.

“Did you really not think of me _at all_ when you left? Or were you too busy playing happy families?” Catra said bitterly.

“Catra...I’m so sorry...I should’ve kept in contact I...” Adora’s voice trembled.

“Adora...maybe...maybe...this has been a long time coming. The first time we broke up...you wanted the break. Not me. But...maybe you were right all along,” Catra swallowed.

“Catra what-? No. Please... _please_ don’t do this!”

“No! I’ve had it Adora! You’ve always had it easy! Shadow Weaver being kind to you, getting adopted, going to one of the best high schools in the country, getting a full scholarship to Brightmoon University! You have it all! I feel like I’m always in your shadow!”

“Catra…please let’s just talk it out-”

“-I...I’ve been depending on you for too long. I’ve always been at your beck and call and...it’s...it’s time I do things on my _own_.”

Adora had tears in her eyes as well and it felt like a giant wedge had been placed between them. She was feeling too many emotions at once.

“What about last night? Was that just so you could kiss me again? What was the point of that, Catra?” Adora demanded.

_You **need** her by your side to thrive. I wonder how you’d fail if you didn’t have her in your life?_

Shadow Weaver’s words stabbed Catra’s mind and she knew she had to prove it too herself she could survive without Adora.

_She had too._

“Last night was...it was only lust. I only wanted you like that. _Nothing else_.”

Adora’s breath caught in her throat and she felt something rip inside her chest.

“You...you can’t possibly mean that, Catra-”

Catra got off the couch and walked to the door before she felt Adora’s hand grab her wrist.

“Catra, I don’t know what’s going on with you but I _know you_. You don’t mean those words. I...please don’t do this.” Adora’s voice cracked and more tears dripped down her face and Catra pulled her hand out of the girl’s grip.

“I don’t know why I ever thought we would work.”

Adora watched Catra leave the apartment and she fell to her knees. She cried until her eyes began to hurt. She wasn’t sure how long she cried but she didn’t care. Her heart hurt.

_Is this just a nightmare?_

She needed to talk to someone. Glimmer was sick and she wasn’t sure how Glimmer would react to hearing how Catra had ripped her heart in two. She scrolled through her phone and stopped under a contact that she knew would listen to her. She dialed the number and pleaded for him to pick up.

“Hey Adora! What’s up?” Bow’s cheerful voice asked.

“Bow…can you please come over?...I-”

Adora wasn’t sure how long she cried on the phone or how long she she had waited for Bow to get to her house but when she felt his arms wrap around her and comfortingly whisper that she was going to be okay, she knew she had made the right decision.

*************************************

Catra got back to the apartment and saw Scorpia looking at her bruise in the mirror.

“Hey Catra! You’re back early! Look, my bruise looks like a starfish-”

She stopped talking when she lifted her eyes and saw that Catra had been crying.

“Woah...come here Kitty,” Scorpia said softly and Catra sat down next to her.

“Scorpia...I...I broke up with Adora.”

“Wait, you did _what?_ But last night you-? And you were _so happy this morning-? ”_

“I...I thought I needed time to myself for a while. But it came out all wrong at Adora’s and I said so many mean things to her that I think I ruined our relationship permanently and I visited Shadow Weaver and that messed up my head-”

She broke off and clenched her hands so hard, she drew blood. Shadow Weaver’s words echoed in her head and she cursed.

_You **need** her by your side to thrive. I wonder how you’d fail if you didn’t have her in your life?_

Shadow Weaver may have gotten into her head but that didn’t mean that Catra still felt like a sidekick whenever she was with Adora.

“Maybe some things were meant to change?” Catra said her voice wobbly.

“Yeah...but that’s a whole lifetime of friendship...gone. Are you ever going to get that friendship back, Catra? Remember, Adora said that she always tried to leave on good terms with her exes but you never really were in the same category since you've been friends since you were kids…” Scorpia trailed off realizing that those were probably not the right words Catra needed to hear right now.

But they were.

Catra started to remember everything she and Adora had ever did together.

How she had scraped her knee and Adora comforted her and put a plaster on it.

When they celebrated their birthdays, they always drew cards for each other.

When Shadow Weaver had been awful to Catra and Adora would always be there to cheer her up.

How Adora got her out of some of her most dark periods in her life.

 

Catra cried into Scorpia’s shoulder, her sudden loss hitting her.

“Scorpia...what have I _done?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAH. TO ALL OF YOU WHO WERE LIKE 'I'M SO HAPPY THEY'RE TOGETHER AGAIN' I WAS THINKING...DAMN YOU ARE GOING TO HATE ME FOR BREAKING THEM UP AGAIN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.
> 
> Shout out to HardlyHuman404 for giving me constructive criticism on my last chapter <3 Your 'rant' (I didn't read it as a rant btw) made me smile because I wanted to lure the readers into a false sense of security. Initially, I had the fight scene at the end but that would ruin the surprise! Thank you for your long comment though!


	5. Heart break means re-living memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It's almost Christmas!
> 
> This fanfiction has very quickly become my second most read fanfiction on A03! Thank you to everyone who leaves comments and kudos! If you don't know I uploaded the first chapter of my Catadora Christmas fanfiction a few days ago so if you want more of my She-ra writing, you can read that too! I hope you all have a lovely Christmas!
> 
> Stay healthy!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

It had been three months.

Three months since Catra had broken up with Adora. And she was still not over the blonde who had her heart. Catra had tried coming up with an apology for weeks but how was she supposed to apologize for the traumatic events she faced when Adora had gotten adopted?

Adora had _left_ her.

If anything...Adora was the one who had to apologise, right? She wasn’t sorry for her emotions because they were valid.

Adora had made no contact with her _whatsoever_ when she left the orphanage and it hurt her every single day but...saying that all she had felt was lust for Adora at Mystacor...that was incredibly harsh. It might’ve a little bit but she wasn’t lying about wanting to be with her.

Catra stared at the tv in the apartment, trying to focus on the movie she was watching but she never could.

All she could think about was Adora.

She was grateful for once that they did different majors. Adora majored in Sports Science whereas Catra majored in Politics. Catra eventually switched the tv off and decided to get a coffee from her favorite coffee shop. Maybe it would help her feel better.

“Scorpia, I’m going to the coffee shop! You want anything?” she yelled as she got her bag, wallet and keys.

“Yeah! A matcha latte would be great! I’ll meet you there!” Scorpia yelled back from the bathroom.

As she walked out the door she remembered the day that they had reconnected. When they had seen each other on the volleyball court that day of their match...it had been quite a moment for the two of them.

*******************

_“Yo! Captain Catra, we are going to kill this season with you on our team!” one of Catra’s teammates said as they stretched their muscles in the changing room._

_“We are going to beat those princesses today. They’ve had the trophy for too long!” Catra grinned and they huddled._

_“Let’s go Horde!” they all shouted before walking to the sports hall._

_The screams were loud as they stepped onto the court but they were deafening when the Princesses came on. Catra wasn’t surprised, it was the Princesses home game so naturally they had more supporters. Catra turned to face her opponents when she felt her breathing stop. The blonde hair, clear, determined blue eyes and the smile that could make flowers grow._

_“Adora?” she asked and it felt like everything happened in slow motion._

_Adora turned away from her teammate and her jaw dropped, “Catra?”_

_They seemed to stare at each other for hours but a sharp whistle broke through the air._

_“Okay ladies! Let’s get this game going!” yelled one of the coaches and before either of them could say another word, the ball was in the air._

_After an hour, the ball slammed down on the Princesses court and the Horde shrieked as they won their final point._

_“Catra! Catra! Catra!” her team chanted as they picked her up and carried her back to the changing rooms._

_Catra tried to get a good look of Adora but she was hugging her teammates and saying encouraging words to them. After a warm, refreshing shower, Catra walked out of Brightmoon High School and to the gravel parking lot with her team._

_“We should totally get celebratory milkshakes guys!” said Kyle, their water boy, as they trekked across the car park._

_“That sounds good-” Catra started but heard quick footsteps behind her and her reflexes kicked in, causing her to face her attacker but instead she saw the bluest eyes._

_“Catra!”_

_She was hit with a heavy weight on her body and she stumbled before opening her eyes._

_“Adora? It’s really you?” she whispered and Adora laughed._

_Catra felt the overwhelming urge to push Adora off of her and scream._

_**Why are you so happy to see me when you never visited? Why are you acting like we’re still friends?** _

_“Oh Catra, I’ve missed you so much!” she exclaimed hugging her harder and Catra felt her anger disappear._

_“I...I missed you too,” she said softly and hugged her friend back._

_Her ears twitched as she picked up a gasp from her teammates as well as Adora’s. The Princesses and The Horde were strict rivals in volleyball and it had been going on for years. Catra also wasn’t a hugger at all. So she could only imagine what her teammates were thinking when she accepted a hug not from any old person but from a Princess._

_“Congratulations on your win! I’m looking forward to our next one but don’t be too cocky. We’ll definitely bring our A game!” Catra rolled her eyes but grinned._

_“Get used to losing, Adora. It’s not going to be easy with me as Captain.”_

_Adora smiled but the competitive streak was gleaming in her eyes._

_“Oh really? Well then, why don’t we meet up after school sometime? Maybe you can have some extra practice with me and get used to losing again,” she said with a wink._

_Catra could feel the blush rising to her cheeks and she knew that she had to respond. Adora was teasing her and she damn well knew that she was doing it just to get a reaction out of Catra. She couldn’t look like a complete dork in front of her team, The Princesses and Adora._

_So she did the next ballsy thing she could think of._

_She took a step forward and kissed Adora lightly on the cheek. It was soft, lingering but Catra knew what she was doing. Adora smelt like her fresh pine scent, something that never changed. She could feel Adora freeze up and she was sure Kyle had fainted. She heard Adora gasp softly and she smirked as she leaned close to the shell of Adora's ear._

_“Heh, nice try Adora but you’re going to have to try **a lot** harder to let my guard down. Anyway, I have some celebratory milkshakes to get with my team. Till next time,” she said smoothly. _

_Before she walked away, she felt Adora’s arm on her shoulder._

_“Fine, if you want to play it like that,” Adora scoffed and turned Catra’s arm around so that her wrist was exposed._

_Adora wrote her number down in a marker and she smiled as she finished. “When you’re done reaping your win, message me,” with that she winked and walked back to her teammates who began assaulting her with questions._

_Catra knew she was going to get the same treatment so she mentally prepared herself as she turned around to face her team._

_“Catra…? Are you going to explain-?” Lonnie asked as they turned away from the scene and began walking._

_“She’s an old friend. Not a big deal but this will definitely make the matches a lot more interesting,” she smirked as the left the parking lot._

_“But you- you kissed-?”_

_“Kyle, it was just a bit of friendly rivalry teasing.”_

_“That sounds ridiculous,” Lonnie annoyingly._

_“Do you have a problem with how I run this team Lonnie? Or do you have something you want to say to all of us?” Catra glowered and that seemed to shut her up._

_Afterwards the tension eventually lifted and they collapsed into friendly conversation and talking about the highlights of the game. Catra on the other hand, kept glancing at her arm to make sure Adora’s number was still there and not fading away._

_She never wanted Adora to fade away from her life ever again._

****************************

Adora sat in her apartment drinking tea. It was a lot colder now and she made sure she bundled up. She looked out the window, the clouds grey but held no promise of rain.

_Don’t worry Adora! You’ll get over Catra in no time!_

Glimmer had said that exactly three months ago and she wished she could but nothing worked. She had tried clubbing, meeting new people, drinking so much that couldn’t remember what had happened the night before (Bow and Glimmer were there for her when she woke up and kept her from doing anything stupid at the club) as well as throwing herself into her studies. There was one thing she hadn’t tried but she knew it would end in disaster.

Dating.

Technically, Adora could date someone but she knew she wasn’t ready. She still cared deeply about Catra and she kept wondering back to the day that Catra had broken up with her.

_“You **left** me, Adora. How was I supposed to ever believe you were going to be there for me, when you left when I needed you the most? I sent you letters! I snuck out and tried phoning you and you never visited. And you **promised** you would.”_

Adora had tried to come up with ways to apologize but it all seemed futile.

_How do you apologize for never contacting someone after four years?_

She had faced her own set of problems when she had been adopted like getting used to her new family, going to Brightmoon High School and trying to fit in. Being an orphan all your life meant not really keeping up with the latest fashion and pop culture and Adora had made Adora an outcast for the first few days at school.

Eventually Perfuma came into her life and after helping Perfuma with saving her gardening club, they had become good friends. She then met Frosta and Mermista at the volleyball team tryouts and was ecstatic when they all made the team. Perfuma attended every volleyball game to support Adora. Adora then met Bow through archery club and they became friends quicky with Bow’s patience to teach Adora how to hit a bullseye. Spinnerella and Netossa where the Captains of the volleyball team and were the oldest. Adora saw them as mentors and they always treated the team after winning a game. Entrapta and Adora had briefly met but she transferred schools soon after. She began throwing herself into school and her new friends but she never forgot Catra. She did get her letters and she read them all but she would get side tracked with homework and volleyball practice.

That still wasn't a good excuse for never visiting.

Adora sighed and put her tea down on the coffee table in front of her and she pulled her legs to her body, making herself as small as possible. She felt tears in her eyes but she didn’t try to stop them.

“If only I had been a better friend. Why did I just abandon her like that?” Adora sniffed and buried her face into her knees, crying quietly.

“Adora! We’re home! We bought your favourite cookies-” Bow exclaimed, with Glimmer behind him, but then he stopped, seeing the state of his friend.

“Oh Adora,” Glimmer whispered and she took a seat next to her and hugged her. Bow took out the cookies from the shopping bag and sat down as well, trying to calm the crying girl.

“I’m sorry guys. I know it’s been months since the break up but I can’t just forget about Catra or our history. I want to talk to her so badly but everything I think of sounds pathetic!”

Glimmer looked down guiltily and Adora squeezed her friends hand.

“Stop, you know it’s not your fault that we broke up, right? If anything...it revealed a whole lot about Catra I didn’t know about. I...I don’t know if I ever would’ve known if you hadn’t punched Scorpia in the face...even if it wasn’t the best thing to do.”

“I know- it’s just...I feel like I made things ten times more difficult for you. Scorpia is...actually super nice.”

Adora and Bow looked at her in confusion.

“You...you met up with Scorpia?”

“Yeah, a few days ago actually...I wanted to apologize for punching her in the face. She was a little surprised that I wanted to meet up but we sorted it out. She’s...she really cares about Catra a lot…” Glimmer trailed off. “Turns out that I have really low alcohol tolerance and drank too much. I think running out into the cold after being at a hot club was what made me really sick and the hangover did not help. I was insecure about making friends and you were the first person I met here. I wanted to be a good friend after hearing about your break up...I wanted to protect you from Catra. She caused you so much hurt and I was angry that she didn’t seem to see it.”

“Scorpia...she didn’t poison you?”

“Oh goodness no! Scorpia would never do that!” Adora nodded and put her head on the back of the couch. “But...did you really have a crush on me?” Adora asked and Glimmer blushed.

“Yes...I did. And I was jealous of Catra and how well you two just clicked. But Bow helped me sort through my feelings. I knew you and Catra were inseparable and I never should’ve stuck my nose into your business.”

Adora nodded and laid her head on Glimmer’s shoulder. “I just wish I knew what to do. Or just to forget about it for a little while. Everything I try just makes me think of Catra.” she murmured and closed her eyes.

Glimmer and Bow shared a smile.

“Which is why we downloaded this app on your phone!”

Adora’s eyes snapped open and she stared her phone that Bow was dangling in front of her.

“You did _what?_ ”

“Adora, it’s not a dating app, we know you aren’t looking for anyone right now. It’s more of a meet up and talk app. Look we know you miss Catra but when was the last time you talked with Mermista after high school?” Bow smiled.

“Mermista is on the app?”

“Yeah! She wants to meet up with you for lunch today It’s already been arranged.”

“Guys…I’m not sure...” Adora mumbled.

“Adora, we understand you don’t want to necessarily talk to anyone right now but you’re going to evolve into a hermit crab if you spend another day in this apartment.” Adora looked at the app and scrolled through the messages that Mermista and Bow had exchanged. If anything, it just looked like a normal meetup. Nothing weird or trying to set her up with someone new.

“Okay fine. I’ll go but you two owe me for making a profile of me without my permission!”

************************************************

Adora shifted nervously in the both were she was meeting up with Mermista. Her iced tea was too sweet and she felt sweaty all over. She had arrived a few minutes early just to mentally prepare herself.

“Adora, long time no see,” Mermista’s velvety voice said as she slid into the opposite side of the booth. Mermista was a Marine Biologist major and went to the same university as Adora, it’s just that their campuses were quite a distance from each other and it was difficult to meet.

Mermista hadn’t changed much since high school, same chic style and ‘I don’t care’ attitude but she had gotten a nose ring, which Adora thought suited her personality.

“Hey Mermista! It’s been ages!” Adora said a little too loudly and Mermista blinked slowly.

“Yeah it has...what are you having it looks good.”

“Oh, iced tea! It’s really...sweet! Yeah....sweet!” Adora said and realized how awkward she was being trying to advertise her drink.

“Adora...are you okay?” the girl asked as she ordered her ice tea. The blonde was silent and she sighed heavily.

“I...I’m not. I’m sorry that you dragged yourself here to catch up-”

“Adora. It’s fine,” Mermista said with a rare look of concern.

“It...it is?”

“I know that you and Catra broke up and I...understand that you’re still healing. I...I know what you’re going through,” she said softly and realization clicked.

“Did...did you and Sea Hawk...?”

A waitress placed Mermista’s iced tea down and she took a long sip.

“Yeah. What’s funny is that he broke up with me. He said we needed space which is freaking weird since he was the one who couldn’t stop spending time around me when we started dating! I guess...I guess I became too possessive of him when we got to university. I understand his reasons for ending our relationship but…” Mermista trailed off and Adora saw tears in the dark girls eyes.

Sea Hawk and Mermista had been the power couple in high school. Everyone thought it was hilarious how he would try to do these huge acts of romance and Mermista would constantly reject him. Eventually, he saw no point in trying to be with her and stopped, making Mermista realize that she liked him and how he treated her (even if it was a bit much at sometimes). Mermista had asked all her friends to help her pull off a grand romantic gesture (which ended in disaster) but Sea Hawk had been brought to tears. They went out on their first date and had been together since then.

Hearing that they broke up...it pained Adora to see Mermista so sad even though she wasn’t one to show usually her emotions.

“I _miss_ him. I think of him all the time,” she choked out.

Adora gently put her hand on top of Mermista’s and she gave the girl a small smile.

“Looks like we're in similar situations. How about we ditch this place and go for a walk on the beach? I know the sea helps you think.”

“No...not the beach...Sea Hawk took me there all the time. How about the park?”

“Uh...let’s not go there...Catra and I had most of our dates there.”

“Well shit, we can’t go anywhere without remembering our exes, huh?” Mermista laughed.

Adora felt her heart squeeze a little at the mention of the word ‘exes’ and she tried to not think too deeply about it.

“How about....mini golf? It’s not too expensive and it opened a few months back. We can go check it out!” Adora suggested hopefully.

“Hmmm, sounds tedious but...that’s what I need right now,” Mermista nodded, a small smile on her face.

The two of them walked out reminiscing of their high school days and laughing.

***************************************************

Catra turned around from the cashier to watch Adora and Mermista leave, two coffee cups in her hand. She hadn’t heard any of their conversation but they had just left together, laughing.

_No...it can’t be. Mermista...Mermista was dating Sea Hawk right? That goofy guy who sang sea shanties all the time. Wait, maybe they’re just friends? She seriously couldn’t be dating-?_

She was trembling slightly and rushed to the bathrooms. She locked herself in a stall and tried to control her breathing.

“Has...has Adora...moved on?” she said whispered and felt her throat close.

She gasped and phoned Scorpia.

“Hey! I’m at the coffee shop! Where are you sitting?” Scorpia answered and Catra let out a strangled gasp, trying to get air into her lungs.

“Catra? Is everything okay?”

“No...no it’s not,” Catra managed to say before she cried. Her tears hitting the wooden bathroom floor and staining the floor, almost like how Adora had stained her heart.


	6. Heart break let's out our worst monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, thank you to everyone who comments, they honestly make my day. It's also probably the only time I ever tolerate being called a demon or an asshole because of how fucking angsty this fic is. And shout out to Pianoman for giving me criticism on how to continue this chapter! I honestly did not think of using the mini golf course at all so THANK YOU! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this (or... not...maybe you will cry?)  
> Stay healthy!  
> vanilla107

“Easy, deep breaths Kitty,” Scorpia murmured as Catra cried into her shoulder.

They were still in the bathroom and Scorpia had found her there a few minutes after their phone call. Catra was sitting on the toilet, while Scorpia knelt down to wipe away her tears with a piece of toilet paper. It was awfully cramped but neither of them cared.

“What happened?”

“I saw Adora here...with Mermista,” Catra hiccupped.

She took a piece of toilet paper and blew her nose loudly. Scorpia was quiet and she furrowed her brows in confusion.

“But wasn’t she dating that Sea Hawk guy? The one who sang all those shanties?”

“Yes, that guy! And now she’s with Adora!” Catra screamed loudly and she dissolved into tears once more.

Her sadness manifested into rage. She hated herself for being so weak just because she saw Adora with someone who wasn’t her. She hated how much power Adora had over her even though she was the one who had called it quits three months ago.

“Why does she still have so much power over me? Why can’t I get over her? It’s been three freaking months!” Catra hissed and hit the stall wall angrily.

Scorpia’s eyes widened and she gently took Catra’s hand in her pincer, being careful to not pinch her.

“I broke it off because I needed to be on my own, dammit! I relied too much on her!”

There was a part of her that knew that she couldn’t move on. Adora had been her whole life since they were kids and even though she resented Adora for it when she was adopted, Catra had looked forward to the day they’d see each other again.

But she was never going to admit that.

“Well...you did leave on rocky terms with her remember? And this whole thing started because she called you her ex-girlfriend. Maybe if you two were still friends it wouldn’t feel this way,” Scorpia said gently.

“Scorpia, I can’t do that. I need to be able to live without Adora in my life,” Catra hissed and felt the all too familiar feeling of jealousy coursing through her.

“I’m sorry Catra...is...is there anything I can do to help you?” Scorpia asked softly.

Catra had just managed to hear Adora and Mermista talking about a mini golf course as they were leaving. Catra hated knowing that Adora seemed absolutely fine with moving on. She wanted her to feel how she was feeling; the burning anger, the bitter jealousy and the overwhelming sadness.

Her mind whirled with evil plans and she gave Scorpia her best sad smile.

“Yeah...there is something we can do.”

**********************************************

“Catra...what are we doing here?” Scorpia asked as the two of them paid for their entrance to the mini golf course. It was partly cloudy but the perfect weather as it wasn’t too hot or too cold. The clouds had gotten darker and Catra could tell it was possibly going to rain that evening.

“To have fun! I need to just clear my head of Adora and this place is perfect!” Catra lied as she tugged Scorpia by the arm and walked to get their putters and golf balls.

“Okay… I just don’t remember you ever saying that you liked mini golf. And… you were crying ten minutes ago because of Adora and now you want to go here?”

“Scorpia...please,” Catra said, adding a hint of desperation to her tone.

Scorpia looked at her for a long minute before sighing.

“Okay, let’s go have some fun. I never would have pegged you as a mini golf person.”

“Are you?” Catra asked and Scorpia blushed.

“I...I think it is fun. Everything is so tiny and cute,” she admitted and Catra giggled at her response.

“Hey, you cannot hold this against me! You wanted to come here!” Scorpia said defensively.

“Okay, okay. I won’t tell anyone!” Catra laughed. Catra didn’t like lying to her friends but her jealousy was too strong. After crying in the bathroom, her sadness was replaced with bitter jealousy and she needed a plan. Her thought process was erratic and illogical but she needed to get Adora away from Mermista as soon as possible. Just thinking about Mermista and Adora together made her skin crawl and her stomach tie in knots.

_Adora actually moved on from me?_

_It’s been three months...so it is possible...?_

_What does Mermista have that I don’t?_

Once the couple collected everything they needed they set out onto the course. The first five courts were outside, each one following a marine theme. Court 1 was dolphins, court 2 was starfish, court 3 was octopus, court 4 was sharks and court 5 was jellyfish. After those, there was an entrance to a warehouse and Catra assumed that there were other themed course inside there. Her ears perked up as she heard a laugh from the warehouse.

_Adora must’ve just gone in there with Mermista. We need to catch up._

“Hey Scorpia, instead of doing the usual score sheet, how about we see who can hit the ball into the hole first? That counts as one point. Person with the least points has to buy the winner ice-cream!” Catra challenged.

Scorpia rolled her eyes but she smiled. She wasn’t sure what was going on in Catra’s head but she was happy that Catra seemed to have her competitive steak on. It felt like normal times. She would’ve loved if Entrapta was with them but she had to study for a test.

“Fine, but it better be two scoops on a sugar cone!” grinned Scorpia before she set down her golf ball.

“Do you think Entrapta could join us next time? I think she’d love all the tiny things,” Scorpia asked as she sunk a ball.

“Yeah, sure,” Catra said not really paying attention to Scorpia but more to where Adora and Mermista were.

They quickly made their way through the first courses and moved onto the warehouse. The warehouse was filled with different types of courses ranging from water fountain obstacles, intentional booby traps and stretches of fake greenery. Scorpia was in the lead with three points and Catra with two but she was only focused on one thing.

_Where are you Adora?_

She spotted the girl on the third course, laughing at something Mermista had said and Catra felt something inside her crack. Catra gripped her putt tightly to stop herself from pouncing on Marine Biology Major. At that moment Scorpia yelled and it was the perfect moment to get Adora’s attention.

“Yes! Another point! Try to beat that Catra!” Scorpia exclaimed loud enough for Adora and Mermista to hear and the blonde locked eyes with Catra.

At that moment, Scorpia noticed that Adora and Mermista were there and she looked at Catra, her face pinched in worry.

“Catra...we can leave now if you don’t want to be here.”

“I...I’ll be fine,” Catra said as she held eye contact with Adora as Mermista hit her ball only to curse that she didn’t get a hole in one.

“I...I could use a hug though,” Catra murmured and Scorpia gladly obliged. Catra sighed into the hug, her eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment before she made eye contact with Adora again.

She saw Adora’s eyes shift between her and Scorpia and the perfect student looked away. This only made Catra angrier.

_What the hell? Does she not care that I’m with another woman?_

Catra sunk her golf ball into the hole which left her and Scorpia’s score at 4-3. Catra hated how Adora was ignoring her. Is this really how she wants to play it? Not a single apology about leaving her for four years even after she ended their relationship. Even after avoiding each other for three months, now Adora was ignoring her completely? This made Catra’s blood boil as she moved on with the course. They caught up to Adora and Mermista quickly and Catra wrapped her arm around Scorpia’s bicep and sashayed past the other couple. Catra saw Adora’s face drop when she saw how Catra was holding Scorpia and the feline felt a twinge of satisfaction shoot through her. Catra leaned her head against Scorpia’s arm throughout the course and cheered her on, all the while making sure Adora saw all of it.

Mermista, who realized Catra’s presence was distracting Adora, did try to coax Adora’s attention back to her which was incredibly irritating to Catra but she was satisfied with how much Adora saw. Scorpia and Catra finished the course in half the time because they played by their own rules. Scorpia had unsurprisingly won the little competition which meant that Catra owed her ice cream. Adora and Mermista were on their last course and still hadn’t come out from the warehouse. Catra knew she had to do one final thing to put the cherry on top of her plan. They exited the course and handed in their putters and golf balls when Scorpia said she needed to use the bathroom.

“Wait Scorpia, which flavour do you want?” Catra asked stalling and Scorpia laughed.

“Chocolate, duh! You know that!”

“I was just checking…” Catra’s eyes narrowed when she saw Mermista and Adora walk out of the warehouse. Mermista walked off by herself and Catra saw Adora’s eyes land on her and Scorpia.

This was it. Her final shot.

“Hey, Scorpia...can I do something strange?”

“Well as long as it isn’t asking me to bury a dead body then sure-” Scorpia’s joke was cut off when Catra wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her in.

Catra kissed her. Scorpia froze beneath Catra’s touch. When the feline pulled away, she stumbled back in surprise, her face red. “I-I need to go to the bathroom,” Scorpia said with a stutter and she walked off quickly. Catra turned her head to see that Adora was still standing in the same spot, frozen in shock.

****************************

Adora felt her throat constrict and she wanted to throw up.

_Is...is Catra and Scorpia…? They just kissed in front of you! Of course they are!_

“Hey, I got us two chocolate bars from the snack bar- Adora?” Mermista asked when she saw the girl trying to hold back her tears.

“I think...I think Catra’s moved on…” her voice wobbled.

“Wait, what makes you say that?”

“They just kissed. _In front of me._ I saw it with my own eyes, Mermista. I thought we still had a shot-” Adora began babbling and Mermista placed her hands on the shaking girl’s shoulders.

“Stop talking. The best thing to do in this situation is to ask her directly if she’s dating Scorpia and leave. She’s already caused enough trouble for today,” said Mermista with an irritated look at Catra.

Mermista hadn’t been blind to what Catra had been doing on the golf course but she had tried to distract Adora for most of the time so that they could still have fun.

“I don’t think-”

“No Adora, I am here and we are going to ask her.”

******************************************

“Hey Adora. Long time no talk,” she said with disinterest as the couple walked towards her.

“Hey Catra…” Adora said softly and Mermista rolled her eyes and glared at the feline.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of mini golf,” she said her eyes blazing with anger.

“Oh, y’know, I just do it to feel relaxed and playing it with Scorpia is just-”

“Cut the crap, Catra. What are you doing here with Scorpia? I thought you two were only friends,” Mermista frowned.

“We are only friends.”

“That’s not what it looked like!” Adora suddenly yelled, causing Catra and Mermista to jump.

Catra’s temper flared and she took a step towards Adora, Shadow Weaver’s words echoing louder and louder in her head.

_You **need** her by your side to thrive. I wonder how you’d fail if you didn’t have her in your life?_

“Well, I don’t have to explain anything to you! You were the one who ‘wanted more space’ between us, Adora! That’s why _you broke up with me_ in the first place! What about you and Mermista, huh? When did _that_ become a thing? We’re not together anymore and why do _you suddenly care_ who I date? It’s not like you _cared when you left me_ for four years!”

“Catra…I...” Adora broke off and she put her face into her hands and broke down into sobs.

Mermista put an arm around Adora and glared at Catra.

“Let’s go home, Adora. I’ll make you some tea.”

Catra watched the two of them leave and she cursed that her plan to make Adora jealous didn’t work. She had expected her to lash out, scream or even go full on crazy but all she did was cry. She turned around to go and get ice cream from the snack bar when she bumped into a large figure. Scorpia’s face was void of emotion and Catra felt a shiver go down her spine.

_Crap. How long was she standing there? Chill Catra, you can get yourself out of this one._

“Scorpia! I was just about to get you ice cream-”

“-You used me.”

Catra tensed up temporarily but tried to play it off.

“Scorpia, I know this looks bad but please understand-”

“No Catra! You can’t just expect me to _understand_ and be _okay_ with this! You brought me here under false pretenses to get your own petty revenge, bribed me to play the game your way, wanted to hurt Adora on purpose when you haven’t even tried to talk to her in months and then you _kiss_ me! What kind of friend does that?”

“Scorpia-”

“ _Let. me. finish._ You couldn't handle seeing Adora with another girl so you used me instead? You wanted to make her jealous so that she’d come running back to you? Well guess what. Maybe Adora isn’t the problem here! Sure, she abandoned you for four years and then expected you two to be friends again. Sure, she broke up with you first because she needed space. And guess what? Every freaking couple goes through that!” Scorpia was yelling loudly at Catra and the feline could feel herself shrink under the gaze of her friend.

“But that does not mean that you can use other people to cause more hurt on another! Adora probably had to deal with her own problems when she got adopted! Did you ever bother to think about her? Maybe she hasn’t spoken to you because she doesn’t know how to after you broke up with her! Maybe you need to take a good long look at yourself before pointing fingers at Adora and blaming her for your problems!”

“You don’t understand Scorpia! You grew up in a home that _loved_ and _accepted_ you. I never had that-”

“-You think I don’t _know that?_ You think I don’t see you go quiet whenever the conversation shifts to family and us growing up? I know came from an orphanage, Catra. I have no idea what happened to you while you were there and judging from the way Adora acts around you, she doesn't either,” Scorpia’s voice cracked and tears dripped down her face. Scorpia was crying, her sobs making Catra break a little inside.

Catra hadn’t realized how dark it had gotten and she tensed when thunder rumbled. It didn’t take a long time for the rain to start falling. Catra flinched under the cold droplets and saw how deserted the golf course was.

“Adora isn’t a mind reader, Catra. She was probably dealing with her own problems when she moved schools! Adora being Adora probably wanted to prove herself to her new family and school so she worked her ass off. Was it shitty for her to not visit you or reply to your letters? Yes. Does this mean you had to twist the knife so deeply into her back? _No_.”

Scorpia’s short hair was plastered to her forehead and her clothes were slowly getting soaked through. There was silence for a brief moment before Scorpia opened her mouth again, her words cutting Catra like ice.

“Adora was probably the only person who knew you better than anyone else. If you haven't shattered any possible hope of ever being friends, let alone girlfriends, the night you broke up with her, you _definitely_ have now.” Scorpia’s glare chilled Catra and the muscular woman turned around to walk away.

Catra sprinted forward and grabbed her wrist tightly, despite the rain making it difficult to get a good grip.

“Wait Scorpia! You’re my friend! You do _know_ me!” Catra argued, her tone increasingly becoming panicked.

Scorpia removed Catra’s hand from her arm and continued to walk to the exit of the mini golf course in silence. She turned around to see the feline’s hands clenched into fists and could make out that she was starting to shiver. Her wet hair and fur reminded Scorpia of one of those stray cats who was left out in the rain to fend for themselves. Scorpia held Catra’s gaze for a second before wiping her eyes and saying her last sentence.

“No Catra… this person you are...this person filled with anger, jealousy and bitterness...I don’t know this Catra. I...I don't think I know you at all.” Catra watched Scorpia walk away and she wanted to run up to her and beg, plead or do something to make this better but Scorpia was already disappearing from her sight.

She lost Adora already.

She couldn’t lose another friend.

But her feet were rooted to the spot because somewhere deep down, she had asked for this. She had wanted to see how she could thrive without Adora in her life and she fucked up so badly that she hadn’t just lost the one girl she truly loved.

She had also lost two friends, Adora and Scorpia.

She sprinted out of the golf course and ran, her tears blurring her vision temporarily.

She couldn’t go to her apartment because Scorpia was going to be there. She couldn’t go to Adora’s apartment. Catra ran blindly and when she felt her lungs burn she stopped and tried to catch her breath. She looked around her for the first time and realized that she had found her way to the park and at the exact same space that she had sat when Glimmer had approached her after sending those text messages. The same place that she and Adora had so many of their dates. She sat down on the bench and brought her knees up to rest her head on them. She cried hard and ugly, not caring if anyone saw her. But then again, who would be out in the rain at a park?

“Catra?”

Catra’s ears stood up straight and she swallowed hard.

_No, out of all the people to see her like this why did it have to be her?_

“Please just leave me alone,” Catra whimpered, holding herself tighter and wrapping her tail around her body.

“Catra, you are soaking wet and are crying. You must think I’m crazy to leave you like this,” the voice said with softness but there was determination behind it.

“Look, I don’t think you’re supposed to care this much about me or-”

“I can when Glimmer has spoken much about you.”

Catra wanted to die as she looked up slowly and saw Professor Angella standing over her with an umbrella and groceries in her other hand. Angella raised her eyebrow at Catra.

“Look, Glimmer was way out of line-”

“Catra, I know. Why do you think she asked Scorpia to meet up with her the other day?”

“Scorpia...met up with her?” Catra asked, her tail going limp.

Angella sighed and handed Catra her umbrella before pulling her raincoat hoodie over her head.

“Come with me Catra. I have hot soup at home and I’ll see if I can get any clean clothes that fit you.”

Catra looked at the professor and she exhaled slowly. She had nowhere else to go and her stomach grumbled loudly.

_When was the last time I ate? Yesterday...afternoon?_

“Okay, but please...today hasn’t been the best so...can we please keep the questions to a minimum?” Catra whispered and stood up, the rain pattering lightly in the umbrella.

Angella nodded but Catra couldn’t see the small flicker of hope in Angella’s eyes as they walked to her house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! 2019 is nearly here and I am pumped! That being said, I will be taking a very short break from writing this fic because I want to write for Catradora week! I don't know if I am going to do this for sure, as I do still have work in the mornings but I would like to participate in Catradora week. <3  
> It's taking place from the 30th of December to the 5th of January which means different prompts every single day for a whole week! This will be time consuming for me to do both at the same time and still juggle work and my personal life which is why I am giving you all a heads up.  
> Love you all!


	7. Heart break leads to therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I HOPE 2019 GIVES YOU THE BEST EXPERIENCES EVER AND THAT YOU MAKE THE MOST OF IT! I am also super duper excited to announce that I've been accepted into a She Ra zine! I can't say which one yet but I'm so excited!!!
> 
> Stay healthy!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

Catra sniffed the bowl of soup curiously, her tail swishing from side to side on the couch. The wind and rain lashed outside and she felt her hair stand on end. She was wearing one of Angella’s large yellow knit sweaters that hit her knees because of how tall the professor was. Besides that she also had not one, but two fluffy blankets covering her body. Her usual clothes were drying next to a heater.

Her wet clothes were in the washing machine and Angella had allowed Catra to take a warm shower. She hated getting wet in the rain and the weather had only gotten worse since she had arrived at the professor’s house. It was warm and cosy, the heater next to her making her feel content. She picked up the spoon and took a sip of the soup, her stomach growling loudly.

“How’s the soup?” Angella asked as she took off her apron as she walked out from the kitchen. Catra looked down, not wanting to meet Angella’s eyes. The professor was tall with long lilac hair and had an impeccable fashion sense. 

“It’s good...could use some pepper though,” she murmured and Angella smiled.

“I thought something was missing. Hold on,” Angella said she went back to the kitchen and came back with a pepper shaker. She handed it to Catra and the feline added it to the soup before handing it back. She mixed it in and tasted it and nodded.

“Yeah...that’s what was missing,” Catra said as she began to eat the soup quickly, her hunger taking over.

“Slow down Catra, I don’t want you to get sick,” Angella said quickly.

Catra paused and began to eat slower, feeling a little weird to be under her professor’s gaze. Angella, satisfied that Catra had taken her advice, sat down in a leather chair opposite her and picked up a stack of essays and began to mark them. Catra’s mind was in overdrive.

_What is she going to do?_

_Well, she invited you back to her house and gave you soup._

_Maybe she’s trying to be nice…? No. It’s a trick. Shadow Weaver would do the same thing and then she’d hurt you-_

Catra shut her eyes tightly and tried to regulate her quickening breathing.

_Breathe, you are far away from her. Just...focus on the moment in front of you...Angella is right there._

She eventually finished her soup and Angella took her bowl to the kitchen. Catra nervous and felt her stomach squeeze.

_It’s just Angella. She can’t hurt you..._

Angella walked back into the lounge area and sat down on the same leather chair opposite Catra.

“Okay Catra, do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

Catra looked down, not really knowing of she could trust Angella.

“Look Angella...it’s nice that you care and want to solve my problem but I’m okay now.”

Angella nodded,“Okay Catra, I’m not going to force you to tell me anything but...I do think talking to someone would be a good idea for you. Do you have someone to talk to?”

Catra opened her mouth but froze.

Scorpia probably hated her.

Adora would never forgive her.

Entrapta...Entrapta would probably side with Scorpia.

And Catra didn’t blame her. She had been an awful person and she... she had no one.

She had _no one._

Catra started to tremble and her vision became blurry. Before she could stop the tears, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Catra, it’s okay to cry,” Angella said soothingly and Catra clenched the knit fabric in between her hands.

“ Crying is a sign of weakness. I have no one. I don’t have anyone to talk too,” she sobbed as she pulled her legs close and laid her head on her knees.

“I am here, Catra. If you ever feel up to talking, I am a licensed psychologist, so if that eases your mind about me prying then it’s because I want you feel better.”

“You...you do?” Angella nodded and gently placed a hand on Catra’s hand.

“I don’t know what you’re going through but I would like to help you Catra. Glimmer only told me about her fight with you and when the incident at Mystacor happened.”

Catra was quiet.

“This...this is all confidential right?”

“Yes, unless I think that you’re in danger of harming yourself or others, everything that gets said between us is confidential.”

Catra nodded and looked up at Angella for the first time since she had found her in the park.

“I...I was an orphan...I went to Shadow Weaver’s Orphanage.”

“Shadow Weaver?”

“Oh, that’s not her real name. It’s some complicated sounding surname but...her hair is this inky black that looks like shadows and it always seems to be...I don’t know...floating? The name stuck and I’ve called her that ever since. I guess she never corrected me because it sounded so similar to her own surname”

“Okay...did Shadow Weaver have any sort of impact on your life?”

**********

_“Catra! Please come to my office immediately. I need to give you something for doing well in today’s exercise.”_

_Catra’s eyes widened as she dropped the ball she was about to throw back to Adora. It was a sunny day and all the kids had been allowed to go outside._

_**I...I did something right and Shadow Weaver noticed? She finally noticed me? Yay!** _

_Catra looked at Adora who nudged her to follow Shadow Weaver. She looked back at Adora, who gave her a thumbs up and toothy smile. Catra was only ten and keeping up with the tall woman was tiring. Finally, they got to her office and Shadow Weaver walked in and gestured for Catra to follow. She walked in and looked around, the bare walls a drab green colour._

_“Catra, I called you in for a very important reason.”_

_The butterflies in Catra’s stomach were going crazy and she had to wrap her tail around her one leg to keep it from swishing around in excitement. “You see Catra, a family came in wanting to adopt you today. They watched you on the obstacle course and how you played with Adora. They were very impressed”_

_Catra’s heart was beating fast._

_**Am I...Am I going to be adopted?** _

_“I advised against it of course.”_

_As quick has her hope had come it was gone. She felt something inside her break and her body was frozen._

_“But...but...why?” Catra stuttered._

_“Because you are a troublemaker. Constant temper, back talk, impulsive, breaking things, shoplifting- “_

_-That was one time! And I’ve stopped since then!”_

_“-Silence! The fact is that you stole and I had to come in to bail you out! Wasted money on getting you out when I should’ve just left you there! No one will ever want **you.** ” _

_Catra was slowly breaking inside. Each word hurt more than the last and she was struggling to breathe properly. “_

_Despite all of that I still chose to keep you here, so be grateful. You need to work harder to prove that you can fit in with another family. You can leave now.”_

**_Don’t let her see you cry. Crying is a sign of weakness._ **

_Catra felt tears sting her eyes but looked down and began to walk out of the office when Shadow Weaver’s voice rang into her sensitive ears before she closed the door._

_“Oh and could you please tell Adora to come to me now? I have some good news for her.”_

_Catra walked slowly to the bathroom first and let the silent tears drip down her face. She gripped the sink with such force she thought she was going to break it. She eventually walked back to her dorm and saw Adora sitting on the bottom bunk bed._

_“Hey! So, how was it?” she asked excitedly._

_“Nothing, she wants to see you though,”_

_Catra swallowed and prayed that Adora didn’t see how sad she was. Thankfully she didn’t._

_“Okay! I’ll be back soon!”_

_Adora opened her arms and glanced at Catra with a pleading look._

_“Okay fine, I’ll give you a good luck hug,” Catra said with a eye roll but she needed the hug too more than ever._

_Especially after what Shadow Weaver had said to her. Adora wrapped her arms around the feline and hugged her tightly before running off to Shadow Weaver’s office. Catra had always had problems with people being too close to her but Adora was the only exception even though she had never told her that. She loved getting hugs from Adora and felt whole whenever she was with her._

_“I wonder what Shadow Weaver is gonna tell her? Maybe she finally gets to be dorm captain, she’s always wanted that,” Catra sighed._

**_No one will ever want you._ **

_Shadow Weaver’s voice echoed in her head and she tried to bury it, deeper and deeper into her._

_“You’ll be fine. You have Adora. Together, you’ll be fine.”_

******************

Catra’s throat was dry and the tears were constant. Angella offered her a box of tissues and she grabbed a few.

“Adora left a month later. Shadow Weaver told her she was getting adopted. She was ecstatic but wanted me to be with her. The family could only take in one child though. The count down to the date that she left to her new home was like a timebomb waiting to go off. I couldn’t stand the chance of her not waking up to see her in the morning...”

Catra sniffed and blew her nose.

“Adora promised to write and visit me. Her saying goodbye was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do.”

Angella hesitantly placed a hand on Catra’s shoulder.

“What happened after that?”

“She never visited. She never wrote back. It’s like she _forgot_ all about me. And I had to deal with Shadow Weaver for the next fours years of my life by myself. We met for the first time at our first volleyball match when we were 14 and we just clicked. I forgot all about the anger I had felt for her and I fell in love with her all over again. I asked her out. We dated for four years and I could finally leave the orphanage when I turned 18. Adora and I applied to Brightmoon University and...that leads us to now. I _fucked up everything_ between us and dragged Scorpia into it and I’ve lost everyone I love.”

Catra broke down and sobbed into the tissues, her whole body heaving. Angella was quiet as she moved her hand to gently rub Catra’s back.

“It sounds like you’ve suffered immense mental and psychological abuse while growing up in the orphanage Catra,” Angella said worryingly.

“Look, I _know_. Shadow Weaver was a terrible person. But I got through it for four years on my own. I should be able to deal with my own problems,” huffed Catra as she sunk into the blankets.

“Catra, I understand your frustration. You want to be strong enough for yourself and to show others you aren’t weak but letting it fester inside you is what caused this problem in the first place.”

Catra glared at Angella.

“Oh _really?_ And what would you know about pain and frustration? You’re a professor! You have Glimmer and a house!”

Angella sighed and walked to a cabinet that stood on one side of the room. She picked up a picture frame and handed it to the feline. Catra realized it was a picture of Angella, Glimmer and a man she had never seen before.

“The man is Micah. He...he died a few years ago. He worked for the military and was about to finish his quota for service but he was asked to do one more job to save refugees. I urged him to do it because it would’ve been his last one. They were ambushed and killed.”

Catra stared at the photograph.

“I blamed myself for years, feeling like it was my fault for sending Micah to go and it ate away at me for a long time. I eventually sought out help and I have managed to come to terms with it and move on. It was a long process but...I definitely am in a happier space than was a few years ago.”

Catra handed the photo back to Angella and she sighed.

“I’m sorry...I never should’ve assumed.”

“It’s alright Catra. But what I’m telling you is that seeking help and sorting through your problems is the best thing to do. Otherwise you might never move forward.”

Catra looked Angella for the longest time before nodding.

“Okay...I...I want to move forward. Can you please help me?”

“Of course. I can schedule to see you once or twice a week but at least once a week. Oh, and tell me one more thing, is Shadow Weaver still running the orphanage?”

Catra nodded and Angella clenched her jaw. She jotted down in her notebook to sort that out before giving her full attention to Catra.

“Let’s continue. What did you do for the next four years of your life without Adora?”

*******

The session felt like it had gone for hours but when Catra checked the clock hanging on the lounge wall, only two hours had passed.

"Okay, Catra. I'll see you next week?" Angella said as she walked Catra to the door.

The storm had stopped and all that remained were the dark clouds and rain puddles. Catra's clothes had gotten dry and Angella had lent her a jacket to keep her warm.

"Yeah...next week. I...um...thank you, For everything. I know there's still a lot to talk about and this won't be easy but...I feel lighter," Catra admitted, a small smile on her face.

"Do you have any idea how you're going to talk to Scorpia when you get home?"

Catra thought for a moment.

"Tell her I'm sorry and that I made a huge mistake. I need to prove that i will never do something like that ever again."

"And?"

"And that crying isn't a weakness, it's a natural human thing to do when experiencing many emotions at once. It is okay to cry," Catra finished.

Angella smiled.

"Goodbye Catra, I wish you all the best. And I will see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes. You have a Politics lecture at 10 and yes, I do expect you to be there," Angella winked and Catra groaned. 

"Fine! I'll see you tomorrow!"

The professor watched the feline walk away and she smiled to herself.

"Don't worry Catra, I believe you can get yourself out of this mess. It might take a long time but...I know you can."


	8. When heartbreak hurts too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! 
> 
> Well, I took a little break from writing this and now I am back! Not gonna lie, this chapter did wreck me a little so have your tissues. I do still hope you all enjoy it! Thank you for the comments and kudos as they make me smile. I hope you all have a good day! I won't be updating this one for a bit because I am busy this weekend but I do have other Catradora fanfictions, just check my works and you'll see them! 
> 
> Stay healthy!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

Catra walked down the stairs to Angella once her Politics lecture ended and greeted her.

“Morning Angella. Look, I showed up!” Catra grinned and Angella smiled. The feline was wearing a grey hoodie with the words 'Brightmoon University' printed on it in black, blue jeans and sneakers. Angella noticed that her ears were a little bit higher than yesterday.

“Well you came to the lecture but did you _listen_ to the lecture?” Angella asked with a raised brow and Catra went red and sighed.

“I...that’s actually why I wanted to talk to you. I couldn’t talk to Scorpia last night. Her bedroom door was locked and I tried to talk to her but I...I hurt her really bad. I don’t know how I’m supposed to apologize if she doesn’t want to talk to me. It’s just been replaying in my mind and...probably the reason I didn’t get a good night’s sleep. Sorry for falling asleep.”

Angella nodded and picked up her book from the lectern.

“Do you have another class right now, Catra? I am available to talk to you in my office if you need it.”

“I don’t have a class and that...would be great.”

Angella and Catra walked out of the lecture theater and into the sunlight. They walked in silence towards the plaza, which was roughly in the middle of campus, and Catra was grateful for the quiet until she saw Adora, Glimmer and Bow walking towards them on the left side. She felt her heart flip because Adora was wearing a red sleeveless dress, denim jacket thrown over her shoulder and sneakers.

Catra loved Adora in red. She thought the colour looked absolutely radiant on her.

They were all talking and laughing but Catra knew they couldn’t see her from their angle, they could only see Angella.

_Please don’t talk to Angella. Please don’t talk to Angella. Please don’t talk to Angella-_

“Mom!” Glimmer’s voice rang out loud and clear.

_Shit._

Catra watched as Glimmer ran over to her mom and she felt her throat close. She wasn’t ready to face Adora. She quickly pulled her grey hoodie over her head. Catra speed walked ahead of Angella and kept her eyes low, trying to dodge the trio but knocked into someone.

“Crap, I’m sorry-” Catra came face to face with Adora, who looked at her in surprise with wide eyes before her expression went cold, and Catra felt her stomach clench in nausea.

Adora had never looked at her like that. Like she was the last person she ever wanted to see.

“Adora, are you okay-?” Bow stopped talking when he saw the two girls and Glimmer turned around, her back to her mom and her jaw dropping. There was a long silence and Catra couldn’t take it anymore. She just wanted to get the hell out of there.

“I gotta go,” she said before running to Angella’s office.

She ran as fast as she could, leaving Adora, Bow, Glimmer and Angella in the plaza.

************

“That was quite the dash you made to get away from Adora.” Angella said as she handed Catra a cup of tea.

They were in her office inside the Politics faculty and Catra was hunched over in a chair trying to keep her shaking under control. She tried to take a sip of tea but her hands were shaking too much. She decided to put it on the desk in front of her and rather drink it when she wasn’t a freaking wreck. She placed her hands under her legs to hide them from Angella. She just needed to breathe.

“Yeah...I just needed to get away. The last thing I want to do is say anything stupid,” Catra murmured and Angella nodded as she sat down in her chair. “Angella...I’ve done a lot of thinking since our last session and I need to ask...why are you doing this?”

“Why am I listening to your grievances?”

“Yes! I mean, you only know me because I bunked so many of your lectures and to make things worse, I said some pretty harsh mean things to your daughter. How are you still so...calm? And I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to pay a psychologist-”

“Catra. Let me explain,” Angella said and Catra closed her mouth and looked at her with curiosity.

“Okay yes, you’re supposed to pay a psychologist but I am employed by Brightmoon University as a psychologist. I accept walk-ins and handle quite a few students. It’s all free since the university is aware that students go through quite a lot while studying here. This was all discussed at orientation...Were you not at orientation?” Angella asked trying hard to not reprimand the young adult.

“I...am beginning to think that I should not have skipped orientation,” Catra admitted and the Politics lecturer nodded.

“What Glimmer told me about you was...harsh but that doesn’t mean that she had any reason to interfere with you and Adora’s relationship. The day after the incident at Mystacor, she came home because of how sick she was. She ended up telling me everything and I was a little shocked at the mention of your name. I do know you from our Politics lectures as well as your lack of attendance-”

Catra blushed in embarrassment.

“-But you always stood out to me Catra. I have never seen such strong essays from a student before. Are you... _aware_ of how complex your essays are?”

Catra’s ears went flat.

“I...I never picked them up from the office…”

“Why not?”

“Because…”

“Because…?”

“Because I’m not good enough!” she snapped and Angella froze at the sudden loudness of the girl.

“I’m not good enough! I never was! I've always been second best! I only came to this stupid university because Adora wanted me too! I came here because I wanted to be with her and a second without her made me feel lost. When we reunited in high school, I _knew_ that I couldn’t go back to never seeing her again. She made me _happy_ and it was the first time in a long time that I had felt that sort of happy. Shadow Weaver constantly compared the two of us but not when Adora was looking though. To this day, I still don’t know why she did all of that to me.”

Angella clenched her fists under her desk.

_How long has this girl been suffering?_

“I’m not good enough, Angella-Shit!”

Her hand had accidentally knocked the cup towards her and the cup of hot tea fell onto her lap. Catra stood up, the chair dragging noisily across the wooden floor.

“Ow- fuck! That hurts!” she hissed as Angella quickly grabbed a box of tissues on her desk and pulled out as many as she could.

“No...I need water...it’s sticky. I should go to the bathroom. I’ll be back soon,” Catra whimpered and Angella watched the girl sling her bag over her shoulder and walk out the door.

She walked down the corridor and entered the bathroom and cursed at the state of her jeans. It looked like she had fallen thighs first into a puddle, which was impossible but that’s how it looked. Catra noticed that there was no one else in the bathroom and breathed a sigh of relief. She went into one of the stalls and took off her soaking jeans and underwear and took out her spare sweatpants and underwear.

Catra always carried around spare pants and undies because an incident involving her period and a baseball game had happened a couple months ago and she did not want to repeat that.

She quickly ran out of the stall and wet some toilet paper before going back to the stall and wiping down her legs to get any traces of the stickiness off her skin. She put on the clean underwear and sweatpants and she sighed in relief. Scorpia had suggested carrying around spares after the incident and she was happy she had taken the advice.

Catra’s eyes watered at the thought of Scorpia. She missed talking to her friend and she missed the cheerful good mornings that she would greet her with. Catra clenched the sink and sighed when she felt tears.

“Freaking hell, when will the tears stop?” she groaned and flipped her hoodie over her head.

_Don’t need some random person walking in and seeing me cry-_

The bathroom door creaked open and Catra immediately ran back into the stall to get her bag and locked the door. Angella was waiting and she needed to get back. She walked out the stall but froze when she heard the familiar voice get louder as the girl entered the toilets.

“I’ll be at the cafe in an hour, Mermista. Obviously we’ll get waffles!” Adora said as she walked into the bathroom, her phone pressed to her cheek.

At the mention of Mermista’s name, Catra felt her throat close up and she looked down as she sprayed on her body spray.

_Act natural and leave as soon as Adora leaves._

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon. Bye!” Adora ended the call and Catra held her breath.

She heard Adora’s footsteps and saw her shadow from under her stall. She heard the sound of water running and then the sound of the hand dryer going off.

_Okay, maybe she came to wash her hands. Once she’s gone you can leave._

She saw Adora’s shadow move and she felt her body relax until she heard three loud knocks on her stall door.

“Catra, we need to talk.” Adora said coldly and Catra gripped her backpack.

“Sorry, you’ve got the wrong person!” Catra said, making her voice an octave higher, in an attempt to get Adora away from her.

“Catra don’t you dare mess with me! I know the smell of the body spray you use!” Adora exclaimed and Catra looked at her body spray and she cursed under her breath.

“Adora, I have to go to a lecture-”

“Don’t lie. I know your schedule,” Adora growled, her voice like ice.

“Adora-” Catra pleaded but was cut off.

“-No! I’m tired of being quiet! I’m tired of hurting! I’m so tired of _everything being my fault_ when I don’t even know what I’ve done wrong! I’m not a mind reader Catra! I can’t tell what’s going on in your head every single day!”

Catra could feel more tears drip down her cheeks.

“And the fact that you tried to ruin my day with Mermista? What the _hell_ was that about? And then you still kiss Scorpia right in front of me? Are you two a thing? Or is this some sick mind game to you?”

Catra wrapped her arms around herself as if that was the only things holding her together.

“And then there’s the orphanage! I know I was a shitty friend! I know I should’ve visited you! I know Shadow Weaver wasn’t nice to you-”

Catra unlocked the door and slammed it open to face Adora, who backed away quickly to avoid being hit by the door. Catra’s hoodie fell off her head in the process and Adora stopped when she saw the tear stained face of the feline.

“ _Nice_ to me? Adora, she emotionally and psychologically abused me!” Catra screamed.

The bathroom was silent and Catra lowered her eyes not wanting to meet Adora’s.

“You never saw what she did to me, Adora. I hid it from you on purpose! You never saw how she broke me down. I don’t want your pity, Adora. If I can make it through my life without you, that will prove Shadow Weaver wrong. I have to do this for myself!” she yelled, her voice raspy from the crying.

The bathroom door creaked open and Catra stopped yelling as Angella walked in.

“Catra? Are you alright-?” Angella looked back and forth between Catra and Adora, confusion written on her face.

“Catra...I...didn’t...” Adora stumbled over her words until she fell silent.

“Are you done, Adora? I...I just want to go home,” sighed Catra, her tone exhausted as she furiously wiped away her tears.

Adora ached to wipe away Catra’s tears, to whisper words of safety and to hold her but she couldn’t. No one said a word as the feline put her hood over her head and headed to the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Angella. Bye.” Adora stared as the brunette walked out and felt her vision blur.

“Adora, Catra isn’t in the best mind set right now. I think it’s best that you- Are you...are you crying?” Angella asked and Adora lifted a hand to her face where she felt wetness on her cheeks.

“I...I just want to know what’s going on! She keeps saying all these things to me like I’m supposed to understand- I just want to help her! Why does she keep pushing me away?” Adora slid down to the floor and sobbed. Angella knelt down and placed a hand gently on Adora’s shoulder.

“How about we go to my office and talk this out?” Adora nodded and shakily got up and walked to the office.

Once they were inside and the door was locked, Adora’s emotions hit her like a bomb as she sat down.

“Catra was being abused by Shadow Weaver... Catra was being _abused_ by Shadow Weaver? Why didn’t she _tell_ me? We used to tell each other everything! Now it’s like I don’t know her at all-?” Adora’s voice was getting louder and Angella knew she had to calm her panicked state.

“Adora. Breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth ten times while I make us some tea,” she said as she handed the blonde the box of tissues to wipe her tears away and blow her nose.

Adora inhaled through her nose and exhaled out her mouth. She felt her body sag as the tension released from her body and her brain become a little less foggy. Angella handed her a cup of fresh tea and she took a sip, not caring that it burned her tongue. Angella sat down opposite her and leaned her arms on the desk, choosing her words carefully.

“Did it ever occur to you while you were at the orphanage, that Catra might’ve kept things from you to keep you happy?” she asked and Adora set down the empty cup.

“I...no...Catra was almost always happy with me...I know she didn’t get along with Shadow Weaver that well but...she didn’t really show much respect for her…” Adora trailed off and Angella swallowed uneasily.

“How do you think you would’ve felt if Catra told you that Shadow Weaver said she was worth nothing?”

Adora felt her heart stop.

“Shadow Weaver said that?” she asked her mind drifting back to the image of Catra screaming at her in the bathroom.

“No, not those exact words but words hurtful enough to scar Catra. I know that your relationship with Shadow Weaver was...better than Catra's but...she has been living with that woman for years and when you left, it got worse.”

Adora put her head in her hands.

“Oh my fuck. I _fucked up_ so badly. When we broke up the first time- when I broke up with her-”

“You said you needed space which is a perfectly reasonable thing to ask of someone but Catra must’ve felt like you were abandoning her all over again,” said Angella softly.

Adora looked torn as she squeezed the arms of the chair.

“Angella, I need to know how I can fix this. I don’t want to lose Catra again. I can’t lose her again. I may have abandoned her once and it was the worst possible thing I could’ve done but I’m not making that same mistake again.”

The lecturer closed her eyes and then opened them again, looking deeply into Adora’s blue ones.

“Adora, I’m afraid that at this point, Catra is hurting too much and is sifting through years worth of pain. I have offered sessions with her to talk about it but I think that it’s for the best that you give her time to heal. I know that’s not the response you want to hear but Catra is in a vulnerable place at the moment and she needs professional guidance to get through it.”

“So, I have to just _wait around?_ I can’t do _anything?_ How can I sit still when my best friend-” Adora’s voice cracked and she buried her head into her knees.

Angella looked at the blonde in surprise.

“Best friend? I thought you two...weren’t friends anymore after everything that had happened?” she asked softly and Adora cried harder as she strung together a sentence.

“You’re not wrong. I don’t know if she...if she still _wants_ to be best friends with me after all of this...but she is still my best friend in my heart...who is suffering from years of pain and I...”

Adora sniffed and looked up at Angella, her eyes red and puffy.

“...I was too freaking blind to see any of it.”


	9. Recklessness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> WHOOO It's been a while since I've updated this one! Thank you for all your comments and kudos on the last chapter as well on my other Catradora fics! I hope everyone is having a great 2019 so far and of you haven't, then don't stress. She Ra exists and honestly, watching an episode when I'm sad helps. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Stay healthy!  
> Loads of love and hugs  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

The apartment smelt heavenly with the scent of muffins floating in the air. Adora wiped her forehead as she checked the oven and smiled as the muffins slowly began to rise.

“Just a few more minutes and these babies will be good to go,” she said with a small smile.

She turned around and looked at the counter and saw the four other packets of muffin mix.

“Maybe raspberry and white chocolate next? Or maybe I should try making it from scratch? I need icing-”

“Adora we’re back from- Adora are you making muffins _again!”_ Bow shrieked as he and Glimmer walked into the apartment.

“Bow! I- Yes...I am making muffins...again.”

Glimmer smiled widely and grabbed a chocolate chip muffin that was sitting on a rack and took a bite.

“I don’t see what the problem is, Bow. They taste amazing!”

The archer sighed and took a apple crumble muffin.

“Adora stress bakes. It’s her way of releasing stress. And in case you don’t see the seriousness of this situation, go to your room.”

Glimmer’s brows furrowed in confusion as she walked across the room to her bedroom and opened the door.

She let out a scream.

“Adora! _Why_ are there muffins on my _bed!”_

“I ran out of space in the kitchen...and the lounge...and my bedroom…”

There were sounds of Glimmer shuffling around her room.

“Adora, I know you’re stressed about Catra but you can’t just bake- how many did you bake?! There’s muffins on my bed, my desk- you put muffins in my closet!”

The blonde winced.

“Um..there was a special at the supermarket and I still have four more mixes, plus I might make from scratch-”

Glimmer stormed out of her room, her face a picture of determination and bewilderment. She placed her hands on Adora’s shoulders and looked at her directly in her eyes.

“Adora, I’m saying this because I love you but please...you need to talk to Catra.”

Adora visibly deflated and she sat down on the floor because the couch had plates of muffins on them.

“You don’t get it Glimmer. _I can’t._ I hurt her too much and I need to give her time with your mom. I need to keep my distance for now. I don’t want to unravel any progress your mom is making on Catra.”

It had been two weeks since the bathroom incident and Adora had kept her distance from Catra, like Angella had instructed her too. She still acknowledged her if they passed each other at university or if they were in the streets and if Catra acknowledged her or not, she was a little happier that she was seeking help from Angella.

It still didn’t stop her from stressing about Catra and beating herself up because of how blind she had been but Angella had helped her through during one of their sessions last week.

“I know but...you can’t stress about her. She’s with my mom and she will help Catra as much as she possibly can. I’m not complaining about the muffins but...there must be roughly fifty muffins in here.”

Adora gave her a small smile,“I did go a little overboard, huh?”

“ A little is an understatement,” Bow said as he put on the oven mitts and took out the fresh batch of muffins from the oven.

“Do...do you think I should take some to Catra? I mean...I can just drop it off at her apartment with Scorpia.”

Glimmer and Bow looked at each other and Glimmer sighed.

“Okay fine. But we’re coming with you.”

Adora’s smile was infectious as she scooped up her friends into a hug.

“Okay, let’s go! I need a container big enough to fit every muffin type. Chocolate, chocomint, vanilla, chocolate chip…”

Bow chuckled under his breath.

“Glimmer, I think we are going to be a while before we head over to Scorpia’s place. How about you give her a heads up that we’re coming over?”

The purple haired girl nodded and took out her phone and dialed Scorpia’s number.

“Hello Glimmer!” Scorpia answered cheerfully.

“Hey Scorpia! Adora baked some muffins and she...made a lot more than we thought she could handle.”

“She stress baked didn’t she?”

“How...how did you know?”

“I tend to stress bake but it’ usually in mini cupcake form. Entrapta likes tiny food.”

Glimmer laughed and turned to face Bow, who was watching Adora with amazement.

“So we thought we’d pop in. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure! Catra is currently out if you’re worried about Adora interacting with her.”

“Nah it’s okay even if she ends up seeing Adora, they seem to be a little more at ease these days. With both of them seeing Angella for therapy, I think they’re making slow progress.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Are we still on for karaoke this Friday?”

“Do you really think I’d ever skip out on singing ‘My Heart Will Go On’ dramatically? Of course we are!”

“Yay! I’ll see you soon! I’ll get the beverages ready! Bye Glimmer!”

“Bye Scorpia!”

******************

Scorpia hung up the phone and smiled.

“I can’t believe we went from hating each other to being friends,” she laughed softly before walking to the fridge and inspecting what there was to drink.

“Milk, water, juice, 3 beers, ohhh fancy champagne...I don't remember buying that...soda…”

Scorpia turned around at the sound of the apartment door opening and closing. She knew those footsteps and she could tell Catra was angry. Scorpia sighed and closed the fridge, not really knowing what to say. Catra had apologized to her multiple times and she had forgiven her recently but she still needed time to process everything. The golf course scenario had hurt her badly and the fact that one of her best friends had done it was even worse.

Scorpia knew she was a sensitive person but she needed time to be at peace with forgiving Catra and then moving on. She knew that her feline friend had started therapy with Angella because Catra had told her and she was happy for her but that didn’t change the feeling of deep sadness within her. It was still a little awkward to talk to her friend but slow progress is better than no progress.

She walked into the lounge and her jaw dropped as she saw Catra flip their coffee table, tears streaming down her face.

“Whoa! Catra! What’s going on!” Scorpia demanded as dashed towards the brunette and placed her pincers on her shoulders.

“I _hate_ Shadow Weaver. She-”

Catra let out a scream in anger and pulled herself away from Scorpia. Entrapta walked into the apartment, her recorder still moving as she documented her latest research but stopped when she saw the situation unfolding in front of her.

“Catra, let’s sit down and talk about this-” Scorpia pleaded.

“No! I’m so tired of talking! I just want this to go away!”

“Want what to go away?” asked Entrapta slowly.

“ _This!_ Everything! How do I get rid of the past?”

Scorpia’s mind was a buzz with possible solutions. She had never seen Catra so blindly frustrated except the one time she couldn’t figure out an argument to an essay.

“Catra, let’s just calm down...let’s try and solve this problem together.”

“No...I...I need to do this on my own. I need to go back to where it all started.”

Catra’s eyes narrowed as she picked up her bag and walked to the door.

“Bye Scorpia. Bye Entrapta. I’ll see you later.”

****************

Ten minutes later, Glimmer knocked on the door and waited for it to open.

“I can’t believe you found a container big enough for all those muffins,” Bow said as he admired the container and Adora grinned.

The door opened and Glimmer smiled when she saw Scorpia’s familiar silvery-white hair but her face dropped when she saw her grim expression.

“Scorpia? What happened?” Glimmer asked and Bow and Adora focused their attention on the tall female as she let them inside.

Bow saw the flipped coffee table and Entrapta using her hair to put it the right side up.

“It’s Catra...I don’t know what happened with her but…”

“Catra…? Scorpia, can you please tell us what happened? She might be in trouble,” Adora said, panicking.

Glimmer took the container and opened it and offered Scorpia and Entrapta but they both declined.

“Hey, let’s not jump to conclusions. We don’t know-” began Bow but was cut off when Adora’s phone rang.

“It’s Angella,” she said and immediately answered the call.

“Adora? Where are you?”

Angella’s worried tone put the blonde on edge and she felt her heart drop and nausea hit.

“At Scorpia’s apartment, why?”

“It’s Catra. The...the therapy session was going great but I triggered a memory and Catra did not take it well. She stormed out before I could console her and I don’t know where she’d be. I’m very worried about her and if you could give me any sort of clue as to where she’d be I would deeply appreciate that.”

“I...I’m not sure. Catra likes many places. What did you say to her that caused her to react so strongly?”

Scorpia’s eyes widened.

“Wait, she was here ten minutes ago. She said something along the lines of ‘I need to go back to where it all started’. Does that mean anything?”

Adora closed her eyes and tried to calm her racing heart.

_Think Adora. Where would Catra be? I need to go back to where it all started._

They shot open a minute later her face paling in realization.

“The orphanage. She’s going to the orphanage. I need to go now.”

“Adora, we don’t know what Catra is capable of doing by herself. We don’t want her to do anything reckless which is why you need to wait for me-” Angella began but Adora cut her off.

“With all due respect Angella, I understand what you’re staying. Catra is currently not emotionally stable and she could do something she'll regret but...I can’t let her do this alone. Not again.”

Adora ended the call and bolted out the door with her friends yelling at her to slow down.

_I’ll be there soon Catra. I won’t let you go through this alone again._

*******************

Breaking open the door was surprisingly easy and the stench of cheap floral perfume greeted Catra.

Usually she would’ve been repulsed but she was too caught up in her own hurricane of emotions.

Finding the office was like walking back home.

Only there was no home cooked meal waiting for her.

There was no hugs or kisses.

No warmth and no love.

Catra gripped onto the doorknob of the office door, ready to face the she-demon that had haunted her life for so long.

_Do it. Don’t back out out now._

Catra twisted the door knob and threw open the door and the first thing she noticed was that the office hadn't changed.

The drab walls, the constantly dusty looking floor and the same steel grey chair that she had to sit on so many times when she was younger when she had been reprimanded. 

Her eyes traveled upward and she saw the familiar wooden desk that had the papers for adoption on it and the same person who had made her life a misery, reading over them.

“Hello Shadow Weaver.” she said, her voice almost echoing around the office.

“Catra, what do you want?” Shadow Weaver asked in a disinterested tone without raising her head from whatever she was reading.

Catra felt the familiar pain of being ignored deep in her chest and she saw a small bookshelf with large books in them on her left side. She smiled to herself and walked over to it.

“I said ‘ _hello Shadow Weaver_ ’!” she yelled and pulled the bookshelf and all the books came crashing down onto the floor.

Shadow Weaver’s head shot up and she stood up from her chair abruptly.

“What are you doing, you foolish girl!” she screeched. Catra grinned and walked to the empty seat and placed the heels of her boots on the edge of the desk in front of her. 

“Well, now that I’ve gotten your attention…Hello Shadow Weaver. I think you and I need to have a little talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say that I think that Glimmer and Scorpia would be freaking amazing friends??? Like they both either don't have friends or have one friend and they are just so fluffy?? I WANT THEM TO MEET SO BADLY PLEASE.


	10. Retribution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Okay, I would love to make up the excuse that I was possessed by ghost last night and that was the reason I posted a really weird chapter 10 but I can't. For those of you who have been reading every single update and read the chapter, let me apologize. As a writer, I did hesitate to post it because I knew that it wasn't my best. I wrote it for the sake of updating and that was a stupid move on my part.
> 
> The fact that I knew that I wrote a chapter that made absolutely no sense or had any flow makes me cringe and I thank the positive and negative comments I got. The negative ones hurt but I had asked for criticism. The criticism gave me a good hit on the head and I knew I had to take the chapter down because it was work I wasn't proud of. I never want people to read work that I'm not proud of and I have learnt my lesson. l'll try not to feel pressure to update and rather take my time writing the story I created.
> 
> All of that being said, here is the amended chapter 10! I think that it flows a whole lot better and I am super proud that I managed to turn the chapter from being really out of character to this. I hope you enjoy it as much as I had fun writing it. <3 
> 
> Stay healthy everyone  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

Catra glared at the woman opposite her. The single woman who had caused her so much pain for the last 19 years of her life.

“Please, sit down, Shadow Weaver. I don’t plan on making this short.”

Shadow Weaver let out a harsh laugh, causing Catra’s ears to twitch in annoyance.

“Why should I listen to you? I have _better things_ to do.”

Catra sighed and reached for her back pocket and produced a flash drive.

“On this flash drive, there are files and video footage from all the years that you’ve been running this orphanage. Remember how you made me spend the night on the porch when I was fifteen as a punishment, because I spilt paint on the floor _by accident?”_

Catra looked expectantly for an answer and Shadow Weaver glared in silence.

“I figured you wouldn’t. Abusers don’t tend to remember all the damage they’ve done. Anyway, you seem to forget that you had security cameras installed that same week. It was bitterly cold that night but I could handle it for the first few hours. When it started raining though, I expected you to open the door.”

Catra paused for dramatic effect.

“Surprise, you didn’t. Thankfully one of the floorboards was loose on the porch and I managed to sleep under there for the night. I could’ve gotten hypothermia but you didn’t care. All you did the next day was walk out, throw me a towel and said, ‘I hope you learned your lesson, Catra.’ Well Shadow Weaver, I still don’t know what that lesson is but back to the main point.” She took a breath.

“There was a camera outside. It recorded the whole thing.”

Shadow Weaver’s eyes widened in shock and Catra felt a bit of pleasure snake down her spine.

“And that’s only the _outside_ camera. There’s one in the kitchen, the play area...Imagine all the footage of how you tormented the other kids, hmmm? all scattered around the house and I have all of that and more on this flash drive. That as well as all the health code violations you’ve covered up over the past years...all here. I think there’s just enough on here to close up this _damn_ place for good and get you imprisoned for a long, long time. So, I think you’d want to sit down.”

She could see Shadow Weaver was furious but the woman did as she was told and sat down.

“Okay Catra. What do you want?”

“To answer all my questions, you can handle that, right?”

She saw Shadow Weaver’s jaw tense but the woman nodded. Catra pocketed the flash drive in her back pocket and asked her first question.

“Why did you sabotage me from being adopted?”

“Adora needed a family more than you.”

The brunette bit her tongue to stop an insult from falling from her lips.

_Next question. Don’t let this be about Adora. Let it be about you_.

“Why was I always given food last?”

“The other kids had bigger appetites. I knew you could survive _at least_ fifteen minutes of waiting time.”

Catra clenched her fists. Adora had seen that pattern and she shared her food with Catra until the feline had gotten her plate. That’s how she had survived when Adora was there.

But the waiting felt like forever when she had been adopted.

“Why did you give me dairy crap when you knew I was lactose intolerant?”

“Oh Catra, I have many children at this orphanage. You can’t expect me to remember everyone’s requirements!” Shadow Weaver said with a sickly sweet smile and Catra felt her stomach roll.

That smile haunted her dreams at night.

That smile almost always meant something bad was going to happen.

“Why was I always punished?” Catra said, trying to shake off her nerves.

_C’mon. Don’t let her break you._

“I was preparing you for the real world, Catra.”

Catra lost it and started yelling.

“The ‘real world’?! The real world doesn’t _lock_ a child in a room and let’s them go to bed hungry! The real world doesn’t hiss threats of violence to a nine year old! The real world doesn’t say-”

Catra’s voice broke and she paused to calm herself.

“The real world doesn’t say ‘You’re unlovable. You’re useless. You’ll amount to nothing.’ on repeat for years. How could you say that?”

Shadow Weaver adjusted her body in her chair and stretched her arms over her head before placing them back in her lap.

“Everything I did for you was to make you stronger Catra,” she said the sincerity catching the brunette off guard.

_Does she...does she really mean that?_

Suddenly, the woman leapt out of her chair, over the desk and tackled the feline to the ground.

“Give me the flash drive you little brat!”

Catra felt the air whoosh out of her system and her hands locked with Shadow Weaver’s.

“You have been nothing but a thorn in my side!” she yelled.

_Shit, for someone so thin she is heavy._

Catra huffed under Shadow Weaver’s weight. She cursed for letting her guard down so easily and using all her strength, pushed the woman off of her and scrambled to her feet. Shadow Weaver knocked her head on the desk, groaning in pain.

“How could you say that when I was a kid? I grew up in your care and maybe if you had show just a little...a little respect to me, who knows what would’ve happened!” Catra spat.

Shadow Weaver ran towards Catra and she dodged it, speeding towards Shadow Weaver’s desk and getting behind the large chair. Shadow Weaver walked slowly around the desk, stalking Catra like she was the prey.

“You’ve learnt nothing! When Adora left you were supposed to get stronger! I taught you how to manipulate people, how to use your skills to your advantage-”

“-But you never gave me what I needed! Love. Something that Adora has always given me from the day we became friends.”

She made her way back to the front of the desk and watched Shadow Weaver’s movements. They were positioned like they had been when Catra had first walked into the room, Catra’s back to the door.

“You’re weak for needing an emotion such a love to thrive!” Shadow Weaver hissed and Catra’s eyes flashed.

“No, you’re the one that’s weak! And I’m going to leave this room not the Catra you broke down and manipulated all those years ago!”

“Oh Catra, that’s very naive of you to think you’re going to leave this room _alive_.”

Catra’s blood ran cold.

_She wouldn’t kill me…? Would she?_

“-But let’s face it, you are damaged. _No one_ is going to love _you_ ,” Shadow Weaver grinned evilly and Catra felt her body go stiff, a memory taking over her mind.

_No one will ever love you._

“I beg to differ,” came a familiar voice from the door and shocked Catra out of her memory and felt her heart freeze in her chest.

That voice.

Catra turned around and saw Adora, her face red and sweaty, her body pressed against the door frame for support.

“Adora…” Catra whispered and the blonde smiled.

“Well this is all very touching but-”

Catra let out a strangled cry as she felt Shadow Weaver’s arm wrap around her neck. Catra dug into her jeans pocket and threw the flash drive to Adora, who caught it with ease. She gasped for air as she felt Shadow Weaver’s grip on her neck tighten.

“Adora...be an obedient girl and give me the flash drive.”

“No! Don’t do it!” struggled Catra as she clawed at Shadow Weaver’s arm.

“I will not _hesitate_ to kill Catra, Adora. Give me the flash drive _now!”_ she roared and Catra started to see black spots in her vision.

Her eyes fluttered closed and her body went limp.

Adora stared wide-eyed, tears in her eyes.

“Okay, stop! I’ll give you the flash drive just let her go,” Adora pleaded.

“Flash drive first,” the woman said and released the pressure on Catra’s neck.

Adora walked towards Shadow Weaver, who extended her hand and she dropped the flash into it.

“Good girl Adora. I knew you’d listen,” Shadow Weaver purred.

Adora gritted her teeth and Catra’s body was released.

The brunette fell to the floor and knocked her head on the desk in the process and Adora rushed to her side. She cradled Catra’s body and looked at Shadow Weaver with fury in her eyes.

“You’ll pay for what you’ve done,” she said darkly and the tall woman laughed, rolling the flash drive in the palm of her hand.

“I won’t be paying for anything now that I have this.”

Shadow Weaver dropped the flash drive on the ground and smashed it under the heel of her shoe. Adora flinched but turned her attention to her unconscious friend. She checked signs for breathing and relief was instant when she saw the slow rise and fall of Catra’s chest.

“Now...what to do with you two-?”

“-Shadow Weaver! Or should I say _Light Spinner?”_

Adora’s jaw dropped when she saw Angella standing in the doorway, her expression cold as ice. Shadow Weaver scowled and turned her back to Adora and Catra.

“Angella. What a... _nice_ surprise.”

“The feeling isn’t mutual. Honestly, I wish we could’ve met under different circumstances,” Angella said with authority.

“Oh please. You have no regrets when you turned me in!”

“Because what you were doing was wrong!”

Adora heard the sounds of police sirens but Shadow Weaver and Angella didn't seem to notice, and she looked at her friend, her eyes watery.

“Catra…” she whispered, her tears dripping onto the feline’s face.

Angella and Shadow Weaver had gotten into an intense staring match when Shadow Weaver struck out, hitting Angella square across the jaw. Adora gasped but Angella recovered quickly and lunged at Shadow Weaver, knocking her to the ground.

“Shadow Weaver. If you turn yourself in now, there can be a chance of an appeal or maybe parol-”

“Shut up!” Shadow Weaver shrieked and kneed Angella, hard, causing her to roll onto her back in pain.

“It it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have to run this _damn orphanage!”_ Shadow Weaver screamed, getting up quickly.

“You were mentally torturing innocent people for research! How is that right in any way?” Angella gasped and the black haired woman walked to the fallen female and kicked her in the stomach. Angella grunted in pain.

“You wouldn’t understand. My work was _brilliant!_ I could’ve been great! I was so close to my goal. All I needed was a few more people-” Shadow Weaver suddenly stopped talking and screamed as she shook furiously.

Adora hid her face from the sight and looked again when she heard the thud of a body hitting the floor. Standing over Shadow Weaver’s twitching body, was a police officer with long blonde hair, tied in a pony tail and bright blue eyes. She held a taser in one hand and a walkie talkie in the other.

Adora realized that she must’ve snuck into the room and tased Shadow Weaver when she was focused on Angella.

“Are you alright, ma’am? It seems like...there was quite a bit of chaos in this room,” she asked as she helped Angella to her feet and took out handcuffs and placed them on Shadow Weaver’s wrists.

“I think we’re okay except Catra needs medical attention. Thank you for saving us...I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t made it,” Angella sighed but gave the officer a smile.

“Just doing my job Miss…?”

“Angella.”

“Pleasure to meet you Angella. I'm Officer Mara. Let’s get this crazy lady to the station and I hope you don’t mind coming with me for statements and questioning?”

Angella looked worriedly at Catra and Adora.

“Don’t worry. They’ll be fine. My partner, Razz, is very kind in interrogations and will provide them with anything they need.”

Angella nodded and watched as the policewoman picked up Shadow Weaver’s body that was slowly regaining normal thought.

“No... _No!_ You cannot take me away!”

“You have the right to remain silent…” she started as Shadow Weaver struggled.

They left the office and Angella made her way to the two girls.

“Adora? Are you okay?”

“I...I don’t know,” Adora responded, her trembling form making Angella’s heart ache.

Another police officer walked in and slowly walked towards them.

“Excuse me, I’m Officer Razz. My partner, Mara, notified me that one of you needs medical assistance and need to be taken in for questioning.”

“We did nothing wrong!” Adora blurted out, panicking.

Her brain jumped to the worst case scenarios and Razz knelt down, placing a hand on Adora’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. I just need to know what happened here today. Think of it like a discussion between you and me. We have hot chocolate and cookies,” she added with a crazy smile.

Adora nodded slowly.

“What will happen to Catra?”

“It doesn’t look like there’s been too many injuries sustained but I’m also not a doctor. We'll get a medic to look at her right now. Do you mind if I…?”

Adora shook her head and allowed Razz to pick up Catra’s body from her. The sudden loss of body heat made her shake and every part of her mind screamed for Catra to be back in her arms. She watched Officer Razz walk away and Angella stood up.

“She’ll be okay, Adora. We should make our way to the police station.” Angella said soothingly and Adora followed her, her knees wobbly.

“Here, I think you’re in shock. You can lean against me if you want.”

Adora immediately accepted the invitation and walked out the office, turning her head one more time at the dull walls and desk.

Happy memories of when she had been told she was going to get adopted, her parents signing the papers and Shadow Weaver telling her how she was a good girl lived in that room.

They meant nothing to her now.

She turned her head away and looked forward, the busted door illuminated with sunlight. She walked out with Angella and saw Bow, Glimmer, Entrapta and Scorpia all looking at Catra in worry as her vitals were being checked by a medic in an ambulance.

“Adora!” Bow yelled and he sprinted to her and gave her a tight hug.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” he said and she could tell he had been crying.

Entrapta, Scorpia and Glimmer jogged after him.

“Mom! Adora!” Glimmer yelled and she froze when she saw the dark purple bruise on Angella’s cheek.

“What happened?” she whispered and Angella winced.

“Too much to explain right now. Adora and I need to go to the station for questioning but don’t worry. We will be fine.”

“Is Catra...going to be okay?” Scorpia asked her eyes red with tears.

“We...we don’t know. Catra is hurt quite badly but we just need to let the doctors do their job.”

Adora heaved and everyone turned to face her.

“Adora…? You don’t look too good…” Entrapta said, her eyes noticing the lack of colour in her cheeks and her trembling form.

The blonde didn’t answer and she dashed for the nearest bushes and threw up. She felt someone rub her back and once she was sure her stomach was empty, she looked up and saw Scorpia.

“Scorpia…”

“Hey, you don’t need to say anything now. We can talk later. You, Catra and Angella are more important now.”

Adora was trembling furiously, the adrenaline suddenly hitting her and Scorpia slowly put her arms around her.

“It’s okay to cry Adora.”

And she cried.

She cried for the blind childhood she had, the abuse she never noticed, how she never visited Catra when the feline needed her the most and how harsh Shadow Weaver’s voice had been when she had belittled Catra in the office.

“You know it’s not your fault. You didn’t know,” Scorpia said softly.

“I feel like I should’ve known,” she sobbed.

“You were kids and I’m pretty sure Catra wouldn’t want you crying over her when she’s very much alive. Look.”

Adora lifted her head from Scorpia’s chest and saw that Catra had regained consciousness. She was sitting on a doctors bed in the ambulance, the medic looking at the bump on her head. She looked groggy as the medic asked her a series of questions. 

“Can I-?”

“Of course you can.”

Adora gave Scorpia one more hug before stiffly walking to Catra. The medic left them to talk to a police officer pointing at the orphanage and at Catra.

“Hey,” she said, her voice raspy and her eyes lowered.

“Hey,” Catra murmured, her eyes small from the bright sunlight.

“Can I please hug you?” Adora blurted out.

“Adora...look at me and ask me again.” Catra’s tone was soft and pleading.

The blonde looked up slowly, her hands closing to fists to prevent them from shaking. Catra looked awful, her hair was a mess, there was a bruise on her cheek and a bump on her head.

“Can I please hug you?” the blonde asked again, her heart hammering in her chest.

“Adora...of course you can. But…”

The blonde felt her heart deflate.

“You can’t because the doctors want to run a few more tests. But you can hold my hand.”

Adora didn’t waste a second and grabbed Catra’s hand and held it to her cheek.

“Please don’t do that again. I thought...I thought-”

“ _-Okay_ , let’s not think about what could’ve happened but rather what actually happened,” Catra said with a small smiled, a teasing tone in her voice and Adora wanted to kiss her.

_So badly._

But now wasn’t the time.

She wasn’t sure if there ever would be a time to kiss Catra again after everything that they had been through but she could worry about those problems later. What mattered was that Catra was with her and that she was alive.

And seemingly the same badass rule-breaker girl she knew.

“You’re right, I mean you’re still here,” Adora said and removed Catra’s hand from her cheek and gave it a small squeeze.

“Yeah...I am,” Catra murmured as she squeezed back.

The continued to hold each other’s hands tightly while observing the other police officers search the the orphanage. It was busy on the grounds and eventually Bow, Glimmer, Entrapta and Scorpia joined them, giving words of comfort.

They both smiled as they reassured their friends, squeezing their intertwined hands every so often, both of them swearing inwardly to never let go.

They finally had each other.

Even though there was still a long journey towards recovery for both of them...they knew that they were going to be okay.

Because it could only get better from now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end of the fanfiction by the way! There's still a few more chapters to come!


	11. Have a little hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Okay so a few life updates from me! I have officially started university and even though it's only the second day, the work load is already piling up. That being said, the updates for all of my fanfictions will not be as frequent until I feel comfortable with the workload and have adjusted into my new courses. I will still be writing but it will take me longer to upload because I won't be spending every second writing like I was during the holidays.
> 
> Thank you for all your support on the last chapter. Your comments warmed my heart and made me more determined to write better content. <3
> 
> Stay healthy and loads of hugs!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

Officer Razz set down a cup of hot chocolate and gave Catra a small smile.

“There’s almond milk in it instead of the normal milk. I saw that you’re lactose intolerant in your file.”

They were all at the police station and Catra had been asked to go in for questioning first. She was jittery even though she knew she was innocent. She swallowed nervously.

She hadn’t been to a police station since her first and last shoplifting experience and didn’t plan on setting foot in another one ever again.

“Okay dearie, let me make this clear. If you know you’ve done nothing wrong, you don’t have to be afraid okay? We’re here to help you.”

The feline nodded and picked up the warm beverage and took an eager sip. The interrogation room door opened and Officer Mara walked in with clipboard and sat down next to her partner.

“Hello Catra. How are you feeling? You had quite a nasty bump the last time I checked,” the blonde officer asked and Catra gently touched her head.

“Its okay...according to the medic I have a concussion but I just need rest. Thankfully it’s not too serious....she mentioned that it was a grade 1 concussion which is the least serious one.”

Officer Razz smiled and clasped her hands together.

“If you feel dizzy or nauseous at all please say so. We don’t usually question people who have just been injured but your case...is something we’ve never seen before and there are other children involved, so it is urgent we get your side of the story asap.”

Catra nodded and breathed in and out.

“Okay, what do you need to know?” she asked and Mara leaned forward.

“How did you know Shadow Weaver and what was your relationship like?”

Catra sighed, “Starting with the heavy questions? Okay, I was one of the children that grew up in the orphanage. She was the main caretaker and our relationship was... _sour_ to say the least.”

“Sour?” Razz asked with a raised an eyebrow.

Catra bit her lip and she could feel her body trembling.

“Shadow Weaver...hurt me. Emotionally and psychologically while I was living there. She purposely sabotaged me not getting adopted and made it her mission to make my life miserable.”

Mara jotted down what Catra had said.

“Adora...can you tell us about her?” Razz asked, her tone soft and Catra gave her a small smile.

“Adora grew up with me in the orphanage. We were best friends but she then got adopted and we lost contact for four years. We met up again in high school and we hit it off. We started dating, graduated and got into Brightmoon University. Adora is incredibly intelligent and kind. She would do anything to help a person in need.”

“You mentioned she got adopted but you didn’t...was this Shadow Weaver’s doing?”

Catra gripped her cup firmly.

“Yeah, she admitted that today. I was sick of feeling like she had all this control over my life and I needed answers which is why I went there in the first place.”

“You felt she had control over your life? In what way? You don’t live in the orphanage anymore.”

“It was more...the things she said when I did live there. How I...how I would amount to nothing.”

Mara nodded and Catra took another sip of her hot chocolate.

“We found a broken memory stick at the scene. Do you know anything about it?”

Catra closed her eyes and nodded before opening them again.

“Yes, that’s the reason she attacked me today. I threatened to release the information on that memory stick to the public which would shut down the orphanage for good. She wasn’t...too happy and attacked me. The memory stick had various documents of health code violations as well as video footage of her abusing me as well as the other children at the orphanage.”

Razz’s eyes widened and she grinned.

“How did you get your hands on that?”

“l snuck into her office before I left the orphanage and hacked into her computer. I...I knew I would need it someday and I know it’s illegal but it was my only upper hand that I had against her. I know it’s broken but is there anyway to get the information?”

“Well, we have her laptop in our possession so we do have a back up if we can’t restore any of the documents on your memory stick,” Mara said as she flipped through another file.

“Some of these questions will get personal but they are vital in the investigation, Catra. I am aware that Angella is your psychologist and if you want her present then we can bring her in,” said Razz.

Catra thought for a minute and nodded her head.

“I think I’d feel calmer if she was here.”

Mara nodded and walked out the room to get Angella. Razz opened up a grocery bag that was on the floor next to her and produced a packet of biscuits, a juice box and a chicken sandwich.

“I wasn’t sure what you wanted and I don’t want you to feel forced into eating-” Razz stopped as Catra’s stomach rumbled loudly and the brunette blushed as she took the chicken sandwich and opened it.

“I think I’ll be all good Officer Razz,” she said as she bit into the sandwich.

A few minutes later Angella and Officer Mara walked back in and the Politics lecturer took a seat next to Catra.

“Angella, we brought you in here because we understand that you are currently Catra’s phycologist. Catra said she’d feel calmer of you were here with her especially since we need to ask some personal questions and she had just gone through a traumatic event.”

Angella nodded and gave the feline a smile while Mara shuffled the files she had with her.

“Catra...you shoplifted a few years back…” Mara said with a raised eyebrow and Catra went red with embarrassment.

“It was one time and...I sorta wanted to rebel against Shadow Weaver…” she murmured and the officer nodded.

“How come you only decided to confront these feelings now?”

“I…” Catra paused and tried to collect her thoughts.

She knew that the entire story was dramatic and sorta reminded her of all the angsty teen dramas she would watch with Scorpia. But the entire story was necessary for the investigation. She took a deep breath and began to explain.

“Adora broke up with me a couple months ago. It was a low period in my life but we got back together two weeks later. I got text messages from Shadow Weaver, the day after we got back together, saying I wasn’t good enough for Adora and that...that made me _so angry_. I had finally left the orphanage and she still found ways to hurt me. I...I still don’t see why she hated me to much and wanted to destroy my relationship with Adora. I confronted her and she said…” Catra closed her eyes to prevent herself from crying.

“She said that I _needed_ Adora in my live to thrive and she wondered how I would fail if she wasn’t.”

The feline sighed as the tears fell and she opened her eyes to see Razz offering her a tissue. She accepted it and dried away her tears. She felt Angella’s hand gently rub her back and she gave the lecturer a small smile.

“Thank you. Those words were just on repeat in my head and I still had to visit Adora that same day. I went to her apartment and….we got into an argument. I ended up lashing out and breaking up with her because....I wanted to prove to Shadow Weaver that I could still thrive without Adora in my life.”

“And did you thrive without her?” Razz asked softly.

“Technically… I did. I still attended lectures and went on my normal everyday life but...I knew Adora was missing from it. At first I thought I was just too dependent on her but I...I like _her_ in my life. She brings this little spark of happiness and I missed that….a lot.”

“What is your current relationship with Adora?”

Catra but her lip nervously.

“Um...I honestly don’t know where we stand right now. I was the one who broke up with her three months ago and I caused some shit between us on a golf course but…I still deeply care about her.”

“A...a golf course?” Razz mumbled but Mara asked another question.

“Do you want to be in a relationship with her?” asked Mara slowly, hoping that the question wasn’t crossing too many lines.

“I...I don’t know...we have a lot to talk about and I have a lot of baggage to deal with but...if Adora would still want to be in a relationship with me after all of this…then it would be a damn miracle. I don’t…know if I can be in a relationship, knowing that I hurt her _so much_ -”

“Catra, remember what we spoke about last week. You are bettering yourself piece by piece…” Angella said soothingly and Catra swallowed uncomfortably.

Mara noticed her discomfort and moved onto another question.

“Did you make the first move when fighting Shadow Weaver today?”

“No...she attacked me first. She jumped over her desk and tackled me to the floor.”

Mara exhaled and handed the clip board to the brunette.

“Please write out a full statement of everything that happened today as well as the interaction you had with Shadow Weaver before you went to Adora’s apartment. We also need your phone for a quick minute to get those messages from Shadow Weaver to build up your case.”

Catra handed them her phone and the two officers read the messages while she wrote her statement.

“How do you know these were from her? It’s from an unknown number.”

“No one else would ever say those words to me and she always had compared me to Adora. I’m sure she used another phone to message me.”

Razz nodded thoughtfully and the feline handed back her full statement.

“Catra, thank you for your time. We might ask you to come in again during the week for more questioning but that’s all for now. Feel free to take your juice box and cookie,” Officer Mara said with a nod and Catra let out a sigh of relief.

“Angella, since you are connected to all of the students involved in this case, I’m asking you to say for the rest of the questions. I know that they are adults but I think you being here helps,” Mara continued as Officer Razz stood up and walked Catra out.

“Adora will be questioned next, dearie. She shouldn’t be too long. I know that you want to talk to her to clear the air-”

“It’s okay Officer Razz. I’ve been through a lot today and I think I just need some sleep.”

“You okay to sit with your friends until they’ve all been questioned? I don’t want you going home alone.”

Catra nodded and turned around the corner where she saw Bow, Glimmer, Scorpia, Entrapta and Adora in the waiting area. They were all sitting on large couches, big enough for two people to sit on, all looking worried. Adora’s head perked up when she heard the footsteps and stood up when she saw Catra. She immediately walked over and her hand intertwined with the brunette’s, squeezing it tightly.

“Hey...you okay?” she asked softly and Catra nodded.

“All good...you’re next though.”

The blonde looked at Officer Razz, who gave her a smile.

“I have sandwiches, cookies and a juice box,” she said and Adora let out a small laugh.

“Okay...I’ll see you later?” she asked Catra, her eyes filled with concern.

_Don’t overstep your boundaries Catra. You’re recovering and you need to take it slow. Don’t get your hopes up._

“I’ll be right here when you come back,” Catra nodded and squeezed the blonde’s hand reassuringly.

Adora slowly let go of the feline’s hand and walked with Officer Razz to the interrogation room. Catra took a seat next to Scorpia and was about to close her eyes to sleep when a loud voice interrupted her.

“Wow...the sexual tension is _thick_ tonight!” Bow announced and Catra went beet red.

Her eyes went wide and sat up straight before pointing an accusing finger at him.

“No, we are _not_ talking about this!”

“I hate to be that person but...the heart eyes were real, kitty,” Scorpia grinned and Catra flipped her the middle finger which only made them all laugh.

Once the laughing died down, Bow announced he needed the bathroom and Scorpia and Entrapta were going to the vending machines to get some tiny snacks. Only Glimmer was left with Catra. A long silence stretched out and Glimmer summoned all her courage before turning her body to face the feline, who sat on the other couch.

“Hey Catra…?”

“Yeah?”

“I...I know we didn’t get off on the right foot...but I want to apologize. I was incredibly rude to you in the park and jealous of your relationship with Adora. I wanted to protect her after seeing how sad she was after the break up but I didn’t know your side of the story. I...I don’t expect you to be friends with me after all of this but I am sorry and I hope...we can start fresh.”

Catra stared at her from her seat and nodded.

“Thank you...I’m sorry I said all those awful things to you too...I was angry and upset and you received the brunt of my anger. I...I was jealous too. I thought that Adora had moved on…and then when she got with Mermista-”

“-Wait, hold up...you thought Adora was dating Mermista?”

“Uh...yeah...they went to a coffee shop and played mini golf together. That screams ‘date’.”

Glimmer snorted before dissolving into a fit of laughter.

“They aren’t together Catra! Bow and I set up the meet up because we felt that Adora needed to see an old friend after all the drama between you two.”

“So...they weren’t on a date?”

“Nope! But if you’re worried if Adora has moved on...I’ll tell you a little secret.”

Catra raised an eyebrow as the purple and pink haired girl patted the seat next to her. The feline got up from her chair and sat down as Glimmer grinned.

“The secret is...she’s not over you, Catra.” Catra felt her heart leap in her chest and she tried to control her emotions.

“You...you don’t know that…” she mumbled into her hoodie and Glimmer rolled her eyes.

“Um, yeah _I do_. Why do you think Adora came to your rescue today?”

Catra looked at the girl confused.

“Adora was at the office because she came to drop off muffins at Scorpia’s place. When she heard that you had stormed out, she figured out that you went to the orphanage and ran all the way there.”

Catra’s jaw dropped.

“That...that makes a lot of sense...wait. She baked muffins? Did she stress bake again?”

“Yes! How did you know?”

“After living with Adora for most of my life...I just know. Let me guess, she put muffins in your room, your closet, all over the lounge…”

“Yes! There was at least fifty!” Glimmer exclaimed.

“You should’ve seen the place when it was finals! She must’ve baked at least 200 muffins! Thankfully Bow helped out and set up a bake sale for us and we made a little extra money on the side.”

Glimmer laughed and leaned on the one side of the couch, her face relaxing into one of happiness.

“Jokes aside though...Adora does care deeply about you and I can see you care about her.”

“I thought you liked her too.” Catra murmured, wrapping her tail around herself and her ears lowered.

“I did but Bow helped me sort through my feelings. I guess I was just overprotective and got attached quickly. Adora was also my only friend here and I wanted to be a good friend to her too. I never saw it from your perspective but after talking to my mom after the incident at Mystacor...I knew I shouldn’t have made your business my business. I...I didn’t know you and Adora grew up in an orphanage… and it was stupid of me to compare two weeks of living with Adora in comparison to you, who practically lived your whole life with her.”

Glimmer sighed.

“I said a lot of mean things to you, Catra. But I hope that you can forgive me.” Catra gave her a nod, a small smile on her face. “It’s okay, we’re cool. Turning over a new leaf starting now.” Catra yawned and leaned her head against her hand.

“Tired?”

“Yeah...it’s been an exhausting day,” she murmured as she closed her eyes.

“Hey Glimmer?”

“Yeah?”

“How about we go out for coffee sometime? Not right away because I have a lot of stuff to sort through but...I can’t have Adora, Scorpia and Bow being the only people you know here.”

Catra swore she could hear the smile in Glimmer’s voice.

“I’d like that...thank you.”

Catra drifted into darkness, her conscious going in and out of sleep. She saw flickers of Scorpia eating gummy bears, Entrapta playing on her phone, Bow saying something about essays and then Glimmer was taken in for questioning. The absence of a body was evident with the loss of heat fading away from her left side but Catra curled her body in more to keep in warmth. She was about to drift back to into the darkness when she felt heat again from her left side, as well as the smell of pine.

Adora.

“Adora! You should totally try and get Catra to lean on your shoulder!” Bow whispered loudly.

“Bow! You’re _yelling!_ Let’s not wake Catra!” Scorpia shushed but Catra could tell that Scorpia was just as excited.

“Guys, Catra needs rest. I’d rather not disturb her especially with her head injury...”Adora said softly and Catra groaned inwardly.

_Playing it safe as usual. She’s too sweet. Let’s make this easy for both of us then._

“Well, Catra’s injury isn’t as major as you think it is Adora. It’s a grade 1 concussion so Catra isn't brain damaged or anything like that,” explained Entrapta.

Catra faked moving in her sleep and she felt the waiting area go silent. She knew everyone’s eyes were on her. She turned her body towards Adora and leaned her head against Adora’s shoulder. “Sorry Glimmer,” she mumbled, knowing full well it was Adora and doing it purely to shut up her friends.

She could tell Scorpia was trying to contain her happiness with the tiny squeal that came from her mouth and she could hear Bow taking pictures of them on his phone.

_Oh my word, they are so dramatic._

“Bow stop it!” Adora hissed and she heard him laugh. Catra picked up the sounds of footsteps and heard Razz’s voice.

“Entrapta, Scorpia and Bow. We’ve decided to question you with Glimmer. Please come through. We don’t want you all staying here so late.”

Catra could tell Razz’s gaze was on her. “Well...isn’t that sweet. Reminds me of Mara and I.”

“You and Mara are together?” Adora asked, her voice filled with interest.

“Married for 23 years dearie.”

There were sounds of the three of their friends leaving the waiting area and the last pair of shoes was about to leave when Adora started speaking.

“Officer Razz, can I ask you something before you go?”

“Of course, Adora. What is it?”

“Do...do you think that Catra and I...can get out of this mess?” Razz chuckled. “Oh Adora, this was a mess but it was a necessary mess. Catra has probably been holding in her feelings for years just to protect you. Even though there could’ve been ways to handle this situation better, at least you know that even after all the pain you two went through...you’re still together.”

“But...but Catra’s only here with me now because she has too. What if she never wants to see me again after this?”

“Adora, trust me on this. Catra won’t be leaving you anytime soon. I think she knows that she has a place here with you, Angella and everyone else. She has people who genuinely care about her right in front of her own two eyes.”

“But Officer Razz-”

“Adora, I have a _gut feeling._ And my gut feelings are never wrong. Well except the one time I had a bad batch of berries but have a little hope. I know it seems fruitless right now, but I promise you, things will get better. You’ve gone through the worst of it and there still is a lot of healing to be done on both sides but...I have a feeling that Catra isn’t going to let you go that easily.”

“Okay...thank you Officer Razz. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“No problem. I need to go back to the interrogation room. Oh, I suggest you getting some sleep too. You look exhausted.”

“But...how am I supposed to do that without waking Catra up?”

“Wake her up Adora, I’m sure she’ll understand you for wanting to sleep too!”

The officer giggled and her footsteps faded around the corner. Catra heard Adora huff and try to move her body but she was going so slowly that Catra knew that by the time she got comfortable, the questioning between Entrapta, Scorpia, Glimmer and Bow would be over. So she faked being disturbed by Adora’s movement.

“Glimmer? You trying to sleep too-Adora?” the feline said sleepily and she added a fake yawn.

“Hey...sorry-" Adora said worriedly and Catra shrugged her shoulders.

“Adora, I’m pretty sure I was the one who leaned on your shoulder first. I should be apologizing. And wow...you look like you need some sleep too.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I...I like it when you lean your head on my shoulder,” Adora said the last part soft but Catra, with her sensitive hearing, could pick it up.

“Adora, lie down on the couch.”

“What?”

“Do you want sleep or not?”

Adora did as she was told and looked at Catra.

“Are you going to sleep on the other couch?” she asked.

“Pfff, no. It’s way too cold so we’ll just have to be like sardines,” Catra said with an eye roll.

That was a lie. The room was fairly warm.

“Sardines-?” Adora closed her mouth when the brunette laid down next to her, their noses touching. 

“Yeah, sardines. Now shush and go to sleep. Night Princess.”

“Oh...okay. Night Catra.”

Catra's eyes fluttered closed and she drifted off to sleep quickly, leaving Adora and her thoughts alone.

_She called me Princess. The nickname I hate but the one she always used to get under my skin. Does this mean…?_

Adora looked down at the brunette and smiled, her stomach flipping in all sorts of directions.

“If this is the gut feeling that Razz is talking about...then...maybe there is hope after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't you guys happy Catra and Adora finally seem to be talking again? Ugh they are just too cute! Again, not the end of the fanfic, just a nice warm end to the chapter!
> 
> Oh, and I personally have no idea how police interrogations or questioning works, so this was all based on what I see on crime and detective shows and police dramas. XD


	12. One message to another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Thank you for all the loveky comments and kudos left on my last chapter. I will be taking a break from writing this as assignments and essays are due in a few weeks. I also need to update my other Catradora fanfiction, so I'm sort of doing a rotation at this point. XD I don't know when I'll be updating this again (I am hoping in roughly three weeks it really depends on my essays and if I procrastinate lol) but thank you for being patient! <3 
> 
> Loads of hugs and stay healthy!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

“You thought you could get away from me?” a sharp voice hissed and Catra felt her breath catch.

_Where is Adora? Scorpia? Angella?_

“No…you’re supposed to be in jail-“ Catra's stomach clenched and she wanted to throw up.

_No, this can't be happening. No. No. No._

“You thought jail was going to stop me? You _stupid_ girl!” Shadow Weaver grinned as she materialized out of the darkness.

Catra wanted to run but she was frozen in place.

“You’ll never escape me. I’ll always be here, in your mind. Reminding you that you are _nothing_.”

“No…I am _something_. I have people who care about me!” Catra yelled but the familiar pangs of doubt hit her hard.

“Those people will eventually leave, just like Adora did. Just watch, they’ll get tired of you and move on-“

“Shut up, shut up, _shut up!”_ the feline screamed kneeling down and trying to block out the sisnister voice from her head.

“Angella is just taking _pity_ on you. You are a _waste of space_. A project to her. She thinks that she can fix you but you’re already so _damaged_ -“

The brunette covered her ears, her breathing frantic and the tears streaming down her face.

“Please stop… _please_ ,” she begged.

“Catra? Catra!” a distant voice called. “Catra, wake up!”

Shadow Weaver smiled evilly and waved her goodbye and Catra felt dizzy.

“This isn’t the first or last time Catra. I’ll see you soon,” she hummed gently touching Catra’s cheek and she recoiled at the touch.

Suddenly, Shadow Weaver disappeared and with a gasp, the brunette woke up, a concerned Adora gently holding her in her arms.

“I-Where are we?”

“We’re at the police station, you came out of questioning two hours ago.”

Catra managed to control her breathing but froze when she touched her cheek. It was wet with tears.

“Was that...?” Catra asked, her voice trembling a little.

“Yeah it was...are you okay?” Adora asked softly.

“No...but I will be.”

Adora knew of Catra’s reoccurring nightmares because she often had them when they still lived in the orphanage. This is what led to Catra sleeping in Adora’s bed because some nights would be...difficult but it soon became a habit which neither of them ever questioned.

Memories of Shadow Weaver and all the mistreatment that she went through flooded her head and Catra groaned as she put her head in between her knees.

_In and Out, In and Out, repeat._

 Once she was done, her breathing returning to normal, she sat up straight and looked at the blonde, her expression one of nervousness.

“You look like you want to ask me something…” Catra said and Adora nodded.

 The feline sighed as she sat up into a more comfortable sitting position.

“Was it always Shadow Weaver? You told me that it was just normal 'I'm afraid of the dark' nightmares…but you lied didn’t you?”

Catra bit her lip. She knew that this would only be the first of the many questions Adora would have for her. She knew she couldn't hide them forever and after keeping it from Adora for so long, she knew Adora deserved answers but that didn't stop the feeling of crawling anxiety to rip through her body at the thought of it all.

“Yes...The nightmares were always her but when you left…you were appearing in my nightmares too.”

Adora tensed up and Catra looked away.

“What did I say? In your nightmares?”

“Adora, I don’t think you want to know-“

Catra felt a hand on her shoulder and she made contact with Adora’s eyes that had the familiar determination.

“Catra. _Please_ tell me. I need to know.”

The brunette was quiet and she sighed, wrapping her tail around her.

“You’re never going to let me leave if I don’t, right?”

“Damn right,” Adora said with a serious expression and Catra nodded.

“It started off as a good dream at first. We would be in a field of daisies, running and laughing and just being kids. Suddenly everything would be in darkness and…you’d be laughing at me. Saying how stupid I was for thinking we were friends and how you were just using me to get adopted…”

“Oh my fuck, Catra…” Adora murmured.

“The nightmares would get worse every week. There would be times when you’d say you made cooler friends at school and how you had just been working with Shadow Weaver to get in her favour. The worst ones…were when you and Shadow Weaver were together, belittling me and saying…things that I never thought I’d hear you say. It got so bad that I ended up just not wanting to sleep. Not sleeping was better than those dreams.”

“Catra…I’m so sorry,” Adora’s voice was tight, like she was trying hard to not cry.

“It’s okay…it wasn’t your fault. Shadow Weaver was a bitch and you couldn’t help getting adopted. It got better when I moved out of the orphanage and Scorpia is the only one, besides you, who knows about them. She had to wake me up from a few of them when I moved out after the break up and it was okay for a while....until now.”

Adora was quiet before slowly, ever so slowly, linking her hand with Catra’s.

“I would never say those things to you. Ever.”

“I know…they just seemed real,” Catra swallowed, her eyes getting misty.

A silence settled over them and Adora was suddenly aware how sweaty her hand was on Catra's. Her nerves were in overdrive.

_Am I moving too fast? Catra went through this whole traumatic thing this afternoon! Why did you think it would be okay to hold her hand, you idiot?_

The blonde clenched her jaw and Catra raised an eyebrow. She could tell that something was bothering Adora and she knew that the blonde wouldn't say anything unless she coaxed it out.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong!" Adora said quickly but Catra rolled her eyes.

"Adora. I know you. You're clenching your jaw and you always do that when you're nervous."

Adora groaned and Catra couldn't help but let out a small smile.

"Is...is this okay? Hand holding?"

Catra cocked her head to the side as she looked at their entertwined hands.

"Yeah...? Friends hold hands Adora."

The blonde sighed.

“I know- I just- I can't explain..."

"Okay, just tell me what you want to do and I'll say whether it's okay or not."

The blonde nodded and removed her hand from Catra's.

Can I...can I hug you? I know it’s probably not a good idea-”

“Adora.”

“Yes?”

“You _do_ know friends hug?”

The blonde went red and she began to stutter.

“I…I know! It’s just with your concussion and everything we’ve gone through over the past few months-“

Adora didn’t finish her sentence as Catra wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Stop using my stupid concussion as an excuse to not hug me,” the feline mumbled.

Adora froze but slowly wrapped her arms around Catra’s athletic body.

“Adora…you can relax. I’m not made of glass,” the brunette snorted and Adora leaned her head on Catra’s shoulder.

After a few seconds of silence passed before Adora pulled away completely.

“Catra, I can’t relax,” Adora stated and Catra laughed before placing a hand on Adora's shoulder, surprising the blonde. The feline leaned her head on Adora's shoulder and sighed.

Adora’s mind was running at a million miles an hour trying to piece together Catra’s behavior was but a low voice interrupted her thoughts.

“It’s okay, you will relax eventually. How…how much did you hear me yell anyway?”

“You were first mumbling a lot like saying ‘Shadow Weaver’ over and over and it slowly got louder before you started screaming ‘no’.”

“Well it’s over now. All good,” she murmured.

“You…you sure?” Adora whispered as she slowly wrapped her arms around the feline.

Catra smiled into the fabric of Adora’s shirt as she felt the Sports Science major’s arms around her and she loosely wrapped her arms around her waist.

She wondered of it would be this constant push and pull between them. Her hugging Adora then not, then Adora hugging her and…it was stressful.

_Are we ever going to be normal again? Everything feels so fragile._

“Well, it will probably happen again since that crazy witch nearly killed me today but I can’t do anything about it. I just have to deal with it as it goes.”

Adora fell silent and Catra could feel how tense the blonde was underneath her fingertips. Her eyes were closing again and the sleepy fog was settling in her mind.

“Catra?”

“Hmmm?”

“…Nevermind...you're tired...we can talk about it some other time.”

Catra hummed once more in response and prayed that she wouldn’t be plagued by nightmares again.

Her ears flickered as she heard Adora whisper before she fell asleep.

“Sweet dreams, Catra.”

*****************************

Catra opened her eyes slowly, her body savouring the warmth. She yawned and sat up, her curly hair, huge and tangled. She walked across her room and opened the curtains, the dim afternoon sunlight streaming in.

"Thank God I didn't have another nightmare," she said to herself as she noticed that it was a fairly cloudy day.

She went back to her bed and sat down before picking up her phone and scrolling through her messages. She had quite a few and and opened up Scorpia's one first.

**Scorpia @ 8:24 am**

Hey kitty, you passed out on top of Adora last night and I didn’t want to wake you. I know you’ll probably sleep in tomorrow after everything you went through yesterday. I won’t be there because I promised Glimmer I’d go clothes shopping with her this afternoon.

**Scorpia @ 8:27 am**

Adora wants to come over but only if you want to talk. She’s kinda conflicted if you want to see her or not but I said you’d contact her.

**Scorpia@ 8:28 am**

I hope that you’re head’s okay. Let’s get through this together. See you later. <3

Catra smiled as she sent Scorpia a black heart emoji in response.

“Yesterday really happened…Shadow Weaver is in jail...” she murmured as she went through her other texts.

**Bow @ 12:34 am**

Look…I’m just saying you are a cute couple and need to stop being so blind. Love you Catra! XD

Her eyes widened when she saw that he had sent the pictures of her sleeping on Adora’s shoulder as well as-

Catra’s jaw dropped and she nearly threw her phone across the room.

“That little shit took photos of us sleeping at the station?” she yelled as she looked at the way her hand had curled onto Adora’s t-shirt and how the blonde had wrapped an arm around her waist.

Her face burned in embarrassment as she sent a row of middle fingers to the archer.

**Catra @ 2:00 pm**

FUCK YOU BOW. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

**Catra @ 2:02 pm**

Thank you for the pictures though…they’re nice.

His reply was immediate.

**Bow @ 2:02 pm**

I knew you’d appreciate them. <3

Bow was the one person that Catra really got to know from Brightmoon High School and their relationship was fairly good. He often teased her when Adora and her had been a couple and had always been nice to her.

She smiled and saw that Entrapta had sent her a few messages too.

“How the hell is she up at six in the morning?” Catra wondered outloud before reading the messages.

**Entrapta @ 6:00 am**

Morning Catra! I hope you’re feeling okay. Scorpia is going clothes shopping today with Glimmer and I think it would be nice if we all just had a girls’ night…? Those things that girls have when they need to de-stress? Yes, those things, sorta like a social experiment but not really! I’ll get the tiny snacks, you and Scorpia choose the movies. You can invite Adora over if you want but no pressure! :D

**Catra @ 2:04 pm**

That sounds like a good idea. I don’t know if I want to invite Adora yet but I like the plan. Thank you. <3

Catra saw that she had four messages left.

**Glimmer @ 9:55 am**

Hey Catra! Just checking to see if you’re okay. Thanks for the conversation yesterday. It means a lot. I know this whole message is sappy but I am happy that we’re okay too.

**Catra @ 2:07**

Hey Glimmer, me too...and I will not get sappy on this chat. Hell no! Have a nice day with Scorpia!

The next one was from Mermista, who she hadn’t contacted in months but the glare of her message made Catra anxious.

“I hope this won’t be too bad,” the feline said before tapping the message.

**Mermista @ 12:00 pm**

Oh my word you actually thought Adora and I were dating?? Catra, no! We’re just friends!

**Catra @ 2:09 pm**

YES! IT LOOKED LIKE A DATE!

**Mermista @ 2:10 pm**

Noooo! We were cheering each other up because we had just gone through rough break ups.

**Catra @ 2:13 pm**

I’m so sorry. I ruined the day for you two.

**Mermista @ 2:14 pm**

Hey, I’m over it. All that matters is that you and Adora are okay now. Are you?

Catra hesitated.

_Are we okay? I mean…we pretty much cuddled last night and I think we’re okay? But…there’s so much to talk about… Just go with your gut feeling, Catra._

**Catra @ 2:18 pm**

Yeah…we’re okay. She’s coming over today so we can talk.

**Mermista @ 2:20 pm**

That’s good news. I hope everything will be sorted out.

**Catra @ 2:21 pm**

Are you and Sea Hawk…? I don’t mean to pry it’s just that I thought you two were together…

Catra wanted to delete the message the minute she sent it, thinking it was too personal, but Mermista had read it already and was typing.

**Mermista @ 2:23 pm**

We’re going steady for now. I met up with him a few days ago and we talked it out. I apologized. It’s still a little weird but I’ll have to see where it goes. Can’t rush feelings.

**Catra @ 2:24 pm**

Looks like we both have our relationships to sort out but I am happy for you.

**Mermista @ 2:25 pm**

Thanks. I hope you can sort things out with Adora.

Catra saw that she only had two messages left and the one was from Adora and the other was from an unknown number. Her heart froze in her chest.

_No…please don’t let it be Shadow Weaver. She should be in a holding cell. She shouldn’t be able to contact me. Please no…no no no._

With shaky fingers she tapped her screen and read the messages before deflating in relief.

**Unknown @ 8:34 am**

Good morning Catra. It’s Angella. I got your number from Glimmer and I think it would be easier to make appointments like this. I’m just checking on you to see if you’re okay and if you are available for a meeting today. I would like to talk to you and Adora at the same time. It is urgent.

Even though the tone of the message was serious, Catra couldn’t help but be relieved that it was Angella. She saved the contact and began to type.

**Catra @ 2:30 pm**

Hey Angella. I am doing okay and Adora will be visiting me today. I’ll let you know what time.

Finally, Catra checked her messages from Adora.

**Adora @ 9:22 am**

Hey Catra. I have a lot of muffins.

**Adora @ 9:23 am**

Like a lot. I need to get rid of them. Glimmer is threatening me. Can I come drop some at Scorpia’s place?

**Adora @ 9:25 pm**

I am being so awkward I am so sorry. I’d like to see you today to talk. I know it’s the last thing you want to do but the sooner we talk the better. (I’ll still bring muffins though).

Catra couldn’t help but laugh at the messages even though the situation seemed to have their entire relationship on the edge.

**Catra @ 2:35 pm**

Are there chocolate muffins?

**Adora @ 2:35 pm**

Yes…?

**Catra @ 2:36 pm**

Okay you can come over.

**Adora @ 2:37 pm**

Seriously? We are going to talk about some intense stuff and you only care about chocolate muffins?

Catra paused over her response.

_Is this too flirtatious? After everything we went through? Does Adora still like me that way? Glimmer said so and so did Bow, Razz, Scorpia and Entrapta._

“Fuck it, I’ll send it,” she announced as she pressed send.

**Catra @ 2:38 pm**

You know me! I make jokes in serious situations! And…who said I only cared about the chocolate muffins?

Catra couldn’t help but smile at the response and she grinned as her phone beeped.

She opened up the chat and felt her heart skip a beat.

It was from Bow but the message he had sent was what made her heart soar.

**Bow @ 2:41 pm**

I just got to Adora’s place and she is on the floor, a screaming mess. What did you do???  

He had attached a picture of Adora, who was indeed, on the apartment floor, her phone clutched in her left hand.

**Catra @ 2:41 pm**

I did nothing. You can’t prove anything.

**Bow @ 2:41 pm**

Why are you lying? Why you always lyinnnnn. OH MY GOD WHY YOU FUCKIN LYING???

**Bow @ 2:42 pm**

Oh shit Adora is going to kill me now. Bye.

Catra snorted and her phone beeped again, this time a message from Adora.

**Adora @ 2:43 pm**

That girl in the picture that Bow took isn’t me btw. That’s all Photoshop.

**Catra @ 2:43 pm**

Yeah…I’m sure it’s all Photoshop. ;)

**Adora @ 2:44 pm**

STOP SENDING THE WINKY FACE YOU ASS.

**Catra @ 2:45 pm**

I ;) don’t ;) know ;) what ;) you’re ;) talking ;) about ;)

**Adora @ 2:46 pm**

I am ready to fight you.

**Catra @ 2:47 pm**

Why don’t you come on over and we’ll settle it. Or are you too scared?

**Adora @ 2:48 pm**

I’ll be over in 20. Hope you said your goodbyes.

**Catra @ 2:48 pm**

Can’t say goodbye to someone if she’s about to bring muffins and fight me. ;)

Catra’s phone chimed again and saw it was a message from Bow.

**Bow @ 2:49 pm**

I don’t know what you and Adora are chatting about, but she is mumbling something about with muffins, winky faces and fighting. Are you going to be okay?

Catra burst out laughing as she got her clothes from her closet and walked to the bathroom.

**Catra @ 2:50 pm**

It’s going to be okay Bow. Just a little friendly rivalry.

**Bow @ 2: 51 pm**

Friendly rivalry? Are you sure that’s not just not some code word for sexy time? ;)

**Catra @ 2:52 pm**

I am _not_ going to respond to that you weirdo.

**Bow @ 2:54 pm**

<3 But I do hope you two will be fine. Just talk it out okay?

**Catra @ 2:55 pm**

I won’t mess it up. Thanks Bow.

Catra switched to her chat with Angella and let the lecturer know that she would be with Adora and that they could meet up at Scorpia’s place at five. She sent the address and Angella acknowledged it with a thumbs up emoji.

She reread her conversation with Adora and her heart squeezed.

 It felt _normal._

They usually teased each other over text and it felt nice to have a sense of normality after everything.

_Take it slow Catra. You can be as flirty as you want over text but...there's still a lot you need to cover with Adora. Just take it slow_

Catra put her phone down and stepped into the shower, the feeling of the water refreshing her body. She lightly touched the bump on her head and she sighed.

_Hopefully…I can fix this._


	13. Questions and Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> It has been a whole month since I've updated but I am happy to say that university is going well and as long as I keep up my work ethic I'll be fine. I'll admit, a few things went down in my personal life which did make me want to stop writing but then season two was announced and I knew I COULDN'T GIVE UP.
> 
> There will be about two to three more chapters of this fanfiction before I wrap it up but I am so happy for everyone who has been on this ride from the very first chapter. Thank you for your comments and your kudos.
> 
> They really mean a lot and I am so thankful for the fandom.
> 
> Stay healthy  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

There was a knock on the door and Catra tensed up on the couch. Her tail and ears were ridged before she closed her eyes and willed herself to relax.

“Calm down, it’s just Adora…with really good muffins,” she whispered as she got up and walked to the door.

She looked through the peep hole and saw the silky blonde hair and a container full of muffins. The feline opened the door and hid a smile when Adora jumped in surprise.

“Hey, come in.”

Adora nodded and walked in and took a seat on the couch.

“You want me to put those on a plate?” Catra asked, eyeing the container of muffins and Adora gripped the container.

“No way! You’re going to be distracted and eat them all!” she retorted, her cheeks going red and Catra pouted before sitting on the other end of the couch.

“No I won’t!”

“Yeah, you will! Okay, we can have muffins after we’ve spoken about everything,” Adora said and Catra nodded in agreement, the reason of Adora’s visit suddenly sitting on her shoulders.

“Okay, okay. We need to talk about…everything,” Catra whispered.

“Yeah…” agreed Adora nervously.

There was a pause, neither of them knowing where to begin.

 “I ask and you answer? Then we swap?” suggested Adora.

The two walked to the couch and sat down on opposite ends.

“Sounds good…what do you want to know?”

Adora placed the container of muffins down on the coffee table and turned her whole body to face Catra.

“Why did you never tell me about what Shadow Weaver was doing to you?”

Catra had wrestled with that question for years. It would’ve been _so easy_ to tell Adora, to confide in her but she always chose not to. Adora had asked the question and she needed to answer.

“I…I knew how _badly_ you wanted to be adopted. I figured out pretty quickly that she favoured you but I knew you’d stand up for me if I ever told you what Shadow Weaver was doing to me. If I did that…it could’ve ruined your chances of adoption completely. So I said nothing.”

“But…you not telling me what she was doing to you made…made Shadow Weaver tell my parents that you were unruly and a troublemaker and that’s why they adopted me instead.”

Catra looked up in surprise.

“You…you know about that?”

“Officer Mara told me yesterday. I don’t understand though…how you could do that to yourself. I _knew_ you wanted to be adopted just as much as I wanted to.”

Catra fidgeted before meeting Adora’s eyes.

“I…I guess I had this fairytale in my mind. I thought that once you were adopted, I would get adopted eventually. But…I never thought Shadow Weaver would sabotage me…which is weird because…I thought she’d want me gone…”

Catra grew silent and Adora swallowed.

“Your turn,” Adora said, not wanting Catra to dwindle on questions that couldn’t be answered.

“Why did you never visit me? Didn’t you get my letters?”

The blonde felt guilt seep through her but she needed to clear the air. Catra was unearthing her memories and she needed to do the same.

No matter how painful it was for both of them.

“I…I was so focused on proving to my parents that I was good enough as well as trying to adjust to my school that I never made you a priority. I just…forgot you, Catra. I know that it sounds like a really _fucked up_ thing to do and I was a shitty person but…that’s the truth. I don’t want to lie to you.”

Even though Adora felt relieved to tell the truth, the look of sadness Catra had on her face made her feel ten times worse.

 “It was shitty. It…hurt me and I felt abandoned. Angella and I…we spoke about this. The first time we broke up, when you broke up with me…it made me feel like you were abandoning me all over again,” Catra said her eyes tearing up.

The memories of waiting for the mailman to deliver a letter or waiting for Adora to visit on a Saturday were rushing back to her, more vivid than ever.

********************************

_“Catra, what are you waiting for?”_

_Shadow Weaver’s sharp tone made the feline tense for a second before she turned around to face the woman, embracing an attitude of ‘I couldn’t be bothered’ so that the woman couldn’t see the disappointment she was hiding._

_“Nothing. I was just thinking,” she replied coolly, but Shadow Weaver could tell she was lying._

_“You’re waiting for Adora aren’t you?”_

_The way Shadow Weaver said it almost sounded like she was mocking her and Catra breathed in slowly._

_Be calm. Be calm._

_“No, I just needed time alone,” Catra said with a roll of her eyes._

_“You miss her.”_

_Catra’s temper flared and she glared at the woman._

_“Okay fine! What if I do miss her? She said she would visit but she hasn’t. I’ve written to her every single day and not word from her! I-”_

_Catra’s voice cracked and Shadow Weaver watched her with a raised eyebrow._

_“I…I need to go to my room,” she whispered as walked away._

_She opened and closed her room door, locking it before laying on her bed._

_Don’t do it. Don’t do it._

_She tried but her eyes wondered to the now vacant other side of the room, where Adora’s once colourful bed and chest of drawers stood. Catra could’ve asked for another roommate but she didn’t want someone to replace her best friend but…_

_She felt tears blur her vision and she buried her face into her pillow._

_Do you know how many times I’ve fantasized you coming back here? That something went wrong in your application? That your parents didn’t want you anymore? I know that it’s mean, selfish and wrong but I’m desperate to see you. Do you know that Adora?_

_She wasn’t sure what was worse._

_That she could get a new roommate but she didn’t want to because she couldn’t bear the thought of  sharing with anyone else but Adora or the fact that the room felt so empty without her._

_***************************************************_

Adora looked down in shame and Catra felt the tears slowly leave her eyes.

“But…I understand I guess. You being you…you wanted to prove to your new family that you were good enough and I’m sure you did. I…I feel like I would’ve done the exact same thing if I was in your shoes,” Catra’s voice wobbled as she tried to control her emotions.

_I do not need to cry. Crying is tiring._

She could feel the tears running down her cheeks.

Adora looked up, her face shining with tears.

“Holy shit- you’re crying-“ Catra said, blinking fast and grabbed the tissues off the coffee table.

“Catra…please know that I am sorry even though…it…it will never be enough. I was so worried yesterday, the worst possible scenarios in my head. I wish…I wish I had asked about the orphanage or…I don’t know!”

Adora was breathing hard and she was shaking slightly.

“Asked if you were okay more or been a better friend when we reconnected in high school. And the night when you broke up with me…it was a huge wake up call with you saying how we only connected again after _four_ years. And at a volleyball match! I had no idea how I could’ve left you for so long-”

Adora never finished her sentence as she pulled her knees to her chest and shook with sobs. Catra didn’t say a word as she reached out to hold Adora’s hand tightly. She waited like that in silence, allowing the blonde to cry. After her sobs had subsided to even breathing, Catra spoke.

“Well…we’re talking now and…this is helping. I know it’s painful but…that’s honestly how it felt without you. It hurt but…thank you for seeing my side of the story,” the brunette said as she offered a box of tissues.

Adora looked up, her eyes red and accepted the tissues.

“It made me realize how insanely fortunate I was to get adopted and how shit of a friend I had been to you. I really am sorry,” she mumbled as she blew her nose.

“I know I held on to the past for a really long time and it wasn't fair for me to just expect you to know my feelings. I was holding in so much anger for so long that it all just…”

“Exploded?”

“Yeah…like a fucking volcano,” Catra said with a sigh.

“All this talk has reminded me…I _do_ still have every letter you sent to me,” Adora sniffed, visualizing the letters back at her parent’s house.

“You _what?!”_ Catra shrieked and jerked her hand away from Adora’s in panic. Catra’s sudden reaction to the letters made Adora giggle.

“Yep! Every single one!” she said, her voice a little raspy but teasing nonetheless.

“You have _every single letter_? Adora, you must _burn_ them. I don’t care if you haven’t read them or not but you need to burn them. They must be so embarrassing!” Catra groaned and Adora grinned.

“I can bring them here next time and we can laugh at them together,” she laughed.

“You are the worst.”

“I know.”

The two girls looked at each other for a moment before Adora asked her next question.

“Now…why did you kiss Scorpia?”

Adora’s question shifted the atmosphere and Catra inhaled sharply as she looked down in shame.

_Just be honest. No more lies. No more secrets._

“I wanted to hurt you like you had hurt me. Like how you never visited, never returned my calls, never wrote back…I wanted you to feel the same way. I was furious when I saw you with Mermista and I jumped to conclusions. I thought you two were on a date and my jealously blinded me. I kissed Scorpia, knowing it would hurt you but…karma bites back harder. I lost you and Scorpia at the same time and I had no idea where to go or what to do. I…I am truly sorry Adora.”

Adora ran a hand through her hair as she absorbed what Catra had said.

“Can we make a promise right now? As friends?” she asked as she looked into the amber and blue eyes.

“Okay…” Catra said uncertainly.

Promises between them were a big deal.

A promise was a promise and Catra had always felt a sense of security with their promises.

But…after everything they had been through…she wasn’t sure about what Adora was going to be asking from her.

“I want you to stop putting me first Catra. You…you deserve to be happy too. You can’t keep putting me first and let that count as your happiness. I want to see you thrive too. I don’t know what would’ve happened if I had stood up for you against Shadow Weaver but…I don’t like that you felt my happiness was more important that yours. Even if it was a fantasy of us getting adopted after each other.”

“Adora, when you were happy at the orphanage…I felt on top of the world. When you told me you were…when you told me you were going to get adopted…I knew that the parents you had…they could’ve been mine. But you looked so happy that…that I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you that. I never wanted to see you sad because I get sad when you're sad. Which is weird since I’ve made you cry like a billion times these past couple months but...I wanted you to be happy. I guess the anger came from you never visiting or contacting me...and it festered.”

Silence followed and Catra shifted in her seat. She needed to do something just to let the mood pass.

“Tea?” she asked, hoping that it would provide a good distraction.

“Please,” Adora responded.

She got up from her seat and walked to the kitchen. Catra sighed against the fridge as the kettle boiled.

It felt nice talking everything out with Adora. Like everything was finally being spoken about and…and she hoped that there was a future with them still being friends.

_Or something more_...her brain whispered and the feline ignored it as she got two large mugs and prepared the beverages.

She walked back to the lounge with the mugs of tea and gave the one to the blonde.

“Thank you,” Adora said as she blew the steam away. She took a small sip before lowering it on a coaster.

The blonde made eye contact with Catra and gave her a serious look while the feline took a long sip of her tea.

“You can care about me Catra but you’re stupid to think that I don’t feel the same way.”

Catra choked on her tea and coughed.

_Okay, was not expecting that answer._

“W…What?” she stuttered, her eyes watering.

“I hurt when you hurt. Believe me, when I saw you with the medic yesterday, I cried my eyes out. I was so angry at Shadow Weaver. I heard everything she had said to you in the office. How you were nothing and how no one would ever love you-”

Adora stopped talking for a moment and tears began to flow again.

“I then knew what you had to deal with every single day for the next four years without me and I was so _fucking angry_. I had every right to be angry with you because you never told me anything but hearing it out loud from that woman…I…I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” 

Catra’s chest was tight and she crawled over to the blonde again and offered her more tissues.

“Thanks,” Adora said as she blew her nose and dried her tears.

Catra sat back and drank her tea after Adora had wiped her eyes.

“You know…you were there for me when I needed you most yesterday. When you walked into the office and saved me.”

“I was just doing the right thing-“

“No, you saved me Adora. Please…promise me that you’ll stop downplaying your achievements when you do amazing things.”

“You think that saving my best friend from an evil lady that manipulated our whole childhood is an achievement?”

“Um…maybe? Does every person have an evil lady who abuses them? Probably not. I'm sure it counts?” Catra mumbled and Adora laughed.

“Okay, let’s make a deal. We learn from this experience. We talk to each other if something is bothering us. You will start putting your happiness first-“

“-And you will stop belittling your achievements, Miss Perfect.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Okay fine…Princess.”

“You little shit-“

Adora picked up another cushion and hit Catra with it and Catra lunged for the cushion and threw it aside.

They laughed as the sun dipped behind the curtains of the apartment, casting a warm glow inside.

They were only a few centimeters away from each other and Catra sat up a little straighter.

“This might be…too soon…after everything…but…you did ask me to start putting myself first.”

“Yeah…what is it?”

“I want to kiss you.”

The weight of Catra’s words left Adora speechless for a second.

“What’s stopping you?” the blonde asked softly, her gaze flickering to Catra’s lips.

“I…I think I need time. Just for everything to absorb. Not that I don’t want to be…with you but…I think it’s just too soon after everything,” Catra admitted, leaning back, breaking the distance between them and Adora nodded.

The blonde was happy and disappointed at the same time.

She had been wanting to kiss Catra since the day before but she understood her reasons. If anything, she was doing exactly what she promised she’d do.

Put herself first.

“Can we…can we hug?” Adora asked and Catra smirked.

“Adora, you are so freaking dense. I said yesterday that friends hug!”

“I don’t know what’s appropriate okay!”

“Okay, hugs, cuddles and…cheek kisses are fine for now.”

“Are you _serious?”_

“Well do you want me to make the list shorter because I can-“

“No! I just didn’t expect any sort of kiss to be included so I’m a little surprised that’s all…” Adora murmured, a light pink dusting her cheeks.

“Can’t get enough of me, hmmm?” Catra purred.

“Shut up Catra! More like you can’t get enough of me since you put cheeks kisses on the list in the first place! Do you want a hug? Yes or no?” Adora yelled, her face now a bright red.

 “Yeah...that’s fine,” Catra grinned as she wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her in, so that Adora’s head was resting on Catra’s chest. Adora could hear Catra’s heart, a rhythmic beat, reminding her she was there.

With her.

Still alive and breathing.

Adora’s grip on the feline’s sweater tightened and Catra looked at her in concern.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

The Sports Science major was quiet for a moment before she answered.

“I’m so happy you’re alive.”

Catra craned her head so that she could make eye contact with her friend.

“You really thought Shadow Weaver was going to kill me?”

“You and I both know she would’ve,” Adora trembled, her voice wobbly, “I know I shouldn’t think of it but Catra, her eyes…she looked so willing to kill you…all for some memory stick…“

“I was unconscious after she knocked me out…what happened?”

“Angella saved us. She came in and started saying things…I wasn’t really listening because I thought you had…”

“Died?” Catra whispered.

Adora didn’t answer and instead buried her head into the nook of Catra’s neck.

_She’s here. Solid. Warm. Breathing._

They stayed like that for a while, the silence comforting, as if all the thoughts that were once trapped in their minds were spilled from their lips and were finally being set free.

“This reminds me of last night…” Adora mumbled and the feline could suddenly feel how close the blonde was to her skin.

“How we slept?”

Catra’s low voice sent shivers down Adora’s spine and she wrapped her arms around Catra’s waist, despite being the taller one between them.

“Yeah…it was nice. Scorpia had to carry you home. You were out like a light.”

Catra hadn’t felt so warm in a long time.

“Did you really only hook up with me at Mystacor because you only felt lust?” Adora asked softly, the old memories rising to the surface.

“No, I just needed a quick comeback,” the Politics major murmured.

“So…you meant everything that happened in the bathroom?” Adora asked, her tone almost hopeful.

“I might’ve…” Catra said with a teasing smile.

That was enough for Adora.

From what she understood, there wasn’t any hard feelings and since they were both getting help from Angella, things were finally looking up for them.

“So…how about those muffins?”

“You just had to ruin the moment.”

“I mean that’s sorta my trademark…like when you got detention because we snuck into the swimming pool after hours…”

“Thankfully I got off doing community service, Catra!”

“Hey, it was still epic!”

“But it was your idea!”

The two chuckled and Adora began to tell how she had to rake leaves in the park for a month but Catra was in her own world.

She knew it would still take time for all their issues to be resolved and things still felt fragile, like anything could happen at any moment. But knowing that the girl that she loved was in her arms and still talking to her like they hadn’t been apart for the last three months…it felt euphoric.

“So I’m picking up these leaves and this squirrel looks at me like I _insulted_ its ancestors and starts running towards me-“

“-Adora?”

The blonde stopped talking and looked up, worry in her eyes.

“Yeah? Is everything okay?”

Catra reached out and played with Adora's pony tail, her eyes soft.

“Everything’s fine. I just wanted to say…I missed you.”

Adora could feel her heart wanting to jump out of her chest, her veins filled with the type of happy that made her want to run and tell the world that she was in love.

“I missed you too.”


	14. From Angella's perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Happy Easter! (I know it's Good Friday but let's still celebrate regardless!)
> 
> I know that this took forever to update but in my defense, university really kicked me in the ass these past couple months (but I am okay now!). We're coming close to the end of 'I thought we were best friends', so I'm trying to tie up any loose ends and make sure the whole thing flows. Season 2 will be out next week and I know I am going to freaking die. Thank you for all your comments and kudos <3 They make writing this so much more fun. I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Stay healthy!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

An hour later, the two were curled up together, casually watching a Disney movie that they both liked, and strangely enough, it was Tangled.

Adora was watching intently, humming along to 'At Last I See The Light' and Catra smiled as she played with the blonde’s hair. She couldn’t believe her luck that Adora was still with her.

 The feline knew that she had been impossible at points and had hurt Adora in one of the worst ways possible but…

She looked down at the Sports Science major, who scowled at the screen when Rapunzel was taken back to the tower.

_She’s still here…after everything. We both messed up but…we’re still here. Together._

“Did…did you really not know about Shadow Weaver?” Catra asked, the curiosity getting the better of her.

Adora looked up and sighed sadly.

“I just…thought she was _really_ strict. Like a strict parent. Took no nonsense but looked after us. As the most responsible child there, I needed to make sure you weren’t doing anything irresponsible.”

Catra’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“Wait…what?”

“Yeah, I had to make sure that you didn’t get into any trouble. That’s what Shadow Weaver told me. If…if something went wrong…it was my fault because I wasn’t doing my job. And then you would suffer the consequences so....”

“So you were always by my side…making sure I wasn’t going to do anything that would make her angry...”

Silence passed between them.

“Adora, do…do you realize what you’re saying?”

“I…I don’t think so? Why, is there something wrong?”

“I think it’ll be better to explain once Angella is here. She said that she’ll be over in an hour but…we could talk about other things like…those gorgeous muffins.”

Adora took a pillow from her side and tried to hit the feline but she was too comfortable to try and cause any real damage.

“Freaking bottomless pit for a stomach,” she mumbled and Catra snorted.

“You never complained when I ate them all!” Catra yelled as she dodged the pillow.

The laughing died down and as Adora reached for the muffin container Catra realized that for the first time, she felt happy.

Wholly, warmly happy.

The happiest she’s felt in three months.

The happiness of something lifting off her shoulders and the comfort of Adora being with her.

Adora presented her with a chocolate muffin and she grinned.

“I grant thee chocolate muffin from Adora’s kitchen.”

“Why thank you, nerd.”

“Hey! You watch just as many medieval romances as me!”

“Yeah, but I kept my feelings internal like a cool person!”

“A cool person internalizes their feelings? Wow I totally aspire to be cool like you!”Adora said sarcastically.

”You bake muffins to de-stress, you do yoga- the most uncool exercise on the planet-” Catra said, listing Adora’s hobbies.

“Yoga is amazing and I’m definitely more flexible than you!”

“You want to test that out?” Catra purred but she inhaled sharply when she realized what she had said.

Adora’s eyes widened and she looked up at Catra, who had gone red. The innocent question that became a sexual remark had also not flown over her head.

“A-Adora, I’m so sorry. I _swear_ to God I have no filter and that was just a reaction-“ Catra began but was interrupted.

“-It’s okay. We just have to watch what we say around each other I guess. Don’t want to…y’know…feel like we’re leading each other on,” Adora murmured.

“I don’t think it’s possible to lead someone on that you clearly like back,” Catra said with a smirk and Adora went red.

“Who said _I_ liked you back?”

“Um, you did. _Yesterday_. You asked Razz if you still had a chance with me. And yes, I was awake for the whole thing so _ha!”_

“Catra- you were awake for that-?“

Adora's face turned a shade of red and Catra smirked.

“What? You gonna hit me with another pillow, Princess? Or take away my muffin? What you gonna do, huh-?”

Catra stopped as she felt Adora’s warm lips on her cheek.

It was a second.

Only a second before Adora broke it off and stole the chocolate muffin from her hand.

The brunette’s face burned and she stared, wided-eyed at the blonde.

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue? What you gonna do, huh?” the blonde teased and that snapped Catra out of her trance.

“I- How _dare_ you? I give you…you _privileges_ and you- you take advantage of them! Adora, I'm going to change the list!”

“Maybe you should’ve realized what you were getting into when you started to tease me,” winked Adora, who took a bite out of Catra’s muffin and hummed in satisfaction.

“Ohh, this was a good muffin. Too bad it’s no longer yours,” she said.

Catra was _this_ close to pushing Adora on the couch and making out with her for eternity but the doorbell rang and she knew it was Angella.

_Saved by my Politics lecturer. I never thought I’d be thankful for not kissing Adora._

“That must be Angella...early as usual. Oh, and we _are not_ done with this muffin conversation,” Catra said in faux anger and Adora responded with sticking out her tongue.

She opened the door and Angella gave her a smile.

“Hello Catra, you’re looking much better.”

“Hey Angella, please come in,” Catra grinned as she let her inside and she saw Adora finishing the last of the muffin.

“Adora, how are you feeling?” the lecturer asked.

“Better now that Catra’s safe,” the blonde replied as she swallowed the last piece and Catra ignored the loud thumping her heart was making in her ears.

“Okay now, that we’re all together, I think it’s time we just discuss what happened yesterday,” said Angella as she sat down on one of the lounge chair opposite the two girls.

“Sure, let’s get it over with. We all pretty much know what happened,” Catra said with a shrug as she picked up a strawberry muffin.

“No Catra…I need to talk about something a little different. I think you were unconscious at that point but…”

Angella trailed off and sighed.

“Sorry…it’s just a lot to take in after so many years.”

Adora’s face turned into one of confusion.

“Angella…you’ve gone a little pale. Are you okay?”

The tall woman nodded before shaking her shoulders.

“I am fine, thank you Adora. This just brings back a lot of memories that’s all. You girls deserve to know the full story.”

“Deserve to know the full story?” asked Catra, a sense of foreboding creeping over her.

“Yes. I…I attended Brightmoon University when I was your age. I came here alone as all my friends decided to either take gap years or attend other universities. I was scared but I knew that once I settled in, I would be fine.”

Angella swallowed and took a sip of her tea.

“Sadly, this wasn’t the case. I began to crack under the pressure and I started to fall behind. It also didn’t help that my roommate was awful. I felt hopeless and I planned on dropping out after a month but…but I decided to give myself a little more time before calling my parents and breaking to them the news of wanting to drop out.”

Catra noticed that Adora was silent next to her, her knuckles white from clenching onto the couch's pillow.

_She probably can’t believe Angella thought of dropping out…especially since she looks up to her so much._

“The day before I planned to call them, I was running late for a Psychology lecture. I managed to find a seat next to a girl but I was a mess. I had forgotten my bag with my books and stationary and I couldn’t take sufficient notes. I almost burst into tears. The girl next to me noticed my distress and helped me out. Long story short, this girl ended up being one of my closest friends. I found out she was majoring in Psychology as well and we spent a lot of time together-”

“Angella, are you saying you’re bisexual?” Catra interrupted and Adora gasped and elbowed the feline in the ribs.

"Catra! Don't assume such things!" she scolded and Angella laughed before placing her empty tea cup down.

“Well…I _did_ love her very much...but that all changed. She became my best friend and my roommate after first year. Because of her, I caught up with my work as well as made a friend. I dropped English and decided to double major in Psychology and Politics. We both wanted to be psychologists and went on to study to become certified psychologists,” Angella sighed.

“We had to write a thesis and as you both know, a thesis takes an incredible amount of time to write. I would be spending eighty percent of my time researching and in the library so I sometimes hardly saw her even though she was my roommate. Eventually, I got curious because she would be coming back to the apartment at four or five in the morning. I asked her what she was researching that was keeping her out so late but she was secretive. I didn’t think much of it at the time.”

Angella’s hands turned into fists and her expression turned into one of fury.

“I followed her one evening to the labs, the curiosity getting the better of me and I saw, first hand her work. I immediately wanted to report her but she was my best friend. I felt guilty for wanting to do the right thing because I thought if I reasoned with her, she would stop.”

“What was she doing?” Adora asked, the hair on the back of her neck rising in fear.

“I found out that she was experimenting on…homeless people. Manipulating their emotions, causing pain and seeing how they would react. Her work…was incredible but so…so wrong. I confronted her that night.”

“Did she listen?” asked Catra softly.

“No. In fact, she reacted violently and threw a chair at me. We…we fought that evening and...Death threats were made. Threats that felt too real and I genuinely feared for my life. I knew I had to report her and I took it to the police. Within a few hours, she had been arrested and the next day, expelled from the university. I had to appear in court and I watched her get her sentence. I never saw her again.”

Catra couldn’t believe everything Angella was telling them. It sounded surreal. Something out of a movie.

“I wanted to start fresh which meant moving out of the apartment we shared and focused all my time on my work. On the way I made new friends but…it still hurt knowing that my best friend had committed a heinous crime and went as far as wanting to kill me for it."

 “I got my PhD and graduated. I was devastated at how my best friend ended up doing such a cruel thing but I had to move on. The fact that I loved her and even tried to reason with her made it worse because I had to abandon the whole relationship completely. Years of friendship gone in an instant,” Angella whispered, her eyes to the floor.

"Catra, you asked me if I loved her. I did. There were many times when I thought out relationship meant something more but after everything...I knew it wasn't meant to be. It…it took me a long time and lots of therapy to get past it. I met Micah, my late husband, a few years later, got married and had Glimmer. I thought I would never have to see or hear of her again…but I was wrong.”

Catra was hanging onto every word and the pieces fell into place.

“Your friend…was Shadow Weaver…” Catra whispered and Angella nodded.

Adora could feel Catra tense next to her and she contemplated holding the feline’s hand before mentally slapping herself.

_Friends hold each other’s hands Adora!_

She placed her hand on top of Catra’s and felt the feline’s hand immediately close around hers.

“You…you called Shadow Weaver a different name when you two fought…Light Spinner?” Adora asked, the memory of Angella saving her in the office resurfacing.

“Yes, her name was Light Spinner when we were friends but I’m assuming that she changed it when she was released from prison. I…I don’t know how she was put in charge of an orphanage but I found out from Officer Mara yesterday that there must be someone helping her out. When I connected the dots together, it made sense. She was continuing her experiment with orphans. Children who had gone through the most emotional pain at such a young age.”

Catra was quiet for a long time.

“Are you saying that…we were part of an experiment?” she asked and her stomach tangled in knots. She felt Adora squeeze her hand and she held it like it was the last thing holding her on earth.

“It’s a possibility. I…I think you were her main focus, Catra. From our sessions, you told me everything she did to you and it all sounds like data collecting. Same goes for you Adora,” Angella said looking at the Sports Science major.

Adora looked at Angella with confusion.

“But…Shadow Weaver was nice to me. How was I part of it?” she asked incredulously.

“Adora…remember what you told me earlier? How you feel responsible for everyone?” reminded Catra.

“Yeah?”

“From the therapy sessions I had with Catra, I understand that you looked after her correct?” asked Angella and Adora nodded.

“It seems that your need to constantly save everyone and be perfect is what Shadow Weaver ingrained into you while you were at the orphanage. You sort of have a need to be the hero and if you can't do anything you spiral into guilt,” finished Angella.

Adora looked between the feline and the Politics lecturer.

“You’re joking right?”

Angella looked down sadly and Catra didn’t say a word. Adora felt anger bubble in her body.

“The reason I feel guilty when I can’t fix something is because of Shadow Weaver? Why I feel responsible for people who aren’t my responsibility? Why I-”

Adora’s voice broke as she stuttered out her last sentence.

“Why I feel the need _to please everyone? It’s because of Shadow Weaver?”_

Adora’s hands curled into fists and tears began to drip down her face. Catra placed her other hand on top of Adora's and the blonde grasped the other hand tightly. 

“I know this is a lot to process but I had to tell you two. When I saw Light Spin- Shadow Weaver yesterday, I thought it was a nightmare. I had my suspicions but I didn't think it would be true. I didn’t want to hide this from you girls forever and…I knew that it would be mentioned in court.”

“Court? Court is definitely happening?” Catra asked.

“Yes, the Officer Mara told me last night that if they retrieve the files and documents from the memory stick or computer, there should be enough evidence to have a full case against Shadow Weaver. They are going through the evidence right now.”

Adora was silent and Angella walked over to the blonde and placed her hands on her shoulders.

“Adora, I know that this is a lot to absorb but there is nothing wrong with you. They way you are isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you know your limits and stick with people who won’t take advantage of your kindness.”

Adora sniffed and nodded before Angella moved onto Catra.

“Catra, this isn’t any shock to you but I am scared that your nightmares will become worse over the next couple days. I still have you scheduled for your usual time slots during the week but I’ll make time to see Adora separately as well as the two of you together. I am proud that you confronted Shadow Weaver but I was terrified what might’ve happened to you if I hadn’t gotten there in time.”

“Well with Adora’s help, she saved me,” Catra said softly and the blonde smiled weakly.

“Now, I am sure you want to be alone and talk this through. You both have my number if you ever need to talk. I…I wish I didn’t have to drop all of that on you but-”

“Angella, it’s okay. Thank you for telling us. It…it must’ve been hard reliving it all,” Catra interjected but gave the lecturer a small smile.

“It was a story I never wanted to retell…but you two are my main concern. This situation isn’t going to go away overnight but I will try my best to help.”

The girls nodded and Angella stood up straight.

“I hate to cut this short but I need to get going. A large stack of essays are waiting for me to mark when I get home and I’ve put them off long enough,” she said with a small smile before giving the two of them a hug.

“I’ll see you two on Monday. Remember that I am only a phone call away. Goodbye girls.”

Catra walked the lecturer to the door and closed it once she left. The brunette turned around and looked at the blonde, her face one of misery.

“Adora?”

“Yeah?”

“I know…this is a weird question and it is unfair of me to ask you this after what Angella told you…but do you think that…um…you could live without me?”

Adora looked up slowly, her teary eyes making Catra hate Shadow Weaver more.

“Did Shadow Weaver say something like that?”

Catra nodded and stayed still.

“She said I couldn’t live without you. That I _needed_ you to thrive and that made me…hate you. It made me what to prove to her that I could be perfectly fine without you.”

Adora bit her lip nervously.

“So that’s why you broke up with me three months ago.”

“Yeah…it’s kinda stupid but…”

“No…I get it…and being told that almost all the time…it would make you question it. But to answer your question…I have been living  without you but it was really shit.”

Catra couldn’t help but snort.

“It was quiet…I missed making pancakes with you in the morning and how you’d calm me down when we had to study for exams or had assignments to do…“

The Sports Science major was quiet for a long moment before walking towards Catra, her expression unreadable.

“Catra, even if you were never in my life, I…” the blonde took in a shuddering breath before continuing.

“It would be different. Who knows what would’ve happened if you weren’t in my life? Wait this isn't making any sense-"

Adora inhaled and exhaled, clearing her thoughs and looked into Catra's eyes.

“I lived without you but I wasn’t _living_. You not being in my life was like...a chunk of my childhood and teenage days gone. The memories we made growing up felt non-existent and- this sounds _ridiculous_ but- Catra, you made up a large part of my life and…I can’t let that go.”

Catra’s eyes widened as she felt Adora’s arms wrap around her and pull her into a hug. The feline swallowed hard, not wanting to cry again.

“I don’t want to lose you again, Catra. I know...um...when I broke up with you…it possibly caused a trigger and when you broke up with me…it was because you wanted to prove to Shadow Weaver that you could thrive without me. But after everything…I’m living in a universe with you.”

Catra didn’t try to stop the tears as she buried her face into Adora’s shoulder.

“I’m living in a universe where you are my best friend first…and I wouldn’t change that for the world,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry Adora. I…I wish I hadn’t put you through this,” Catra said between sobs.

The brunette felt Adora’s laugh vibrate through her body.

“It _was_ pretty shit…but we’re still together after it all…and…and that matters _so much_ more. Sure this whole thing sucked and there’s still a lot we need to get through but…”

Catra felt Adora’s arms tighten around her.

“I still have you and you have me…and that’s what matters.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, before anyone yells at me, I personally haven't studied Psychology and I did ask a few of my friends who do study Psychology what they would have to do to be a clinical psychologist. They mentioned they would have to do a research thesis and that's how Angella and Shadow Weaver ended up writing thesis's. I don't know if it's different in other countries but that's how it works in South Africa XD. 
> 
> I also participated in a She-ra Zine! It's the Bow Zine and pre-orders will go up soon! Check it out on Tumblr and buy a copy! All proceeds go to charity!


	15. Pressure and a Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY EVERYONE! I know it's been a while but I'm back! I feel like posting this was also sort of stupid because I still have to write exams but I wanted to post this because it's BEEN TOO FREAKING LONG SINCE I'VE UPDATED. So Season 2 was amazing (don't worry no spoilers!) and I am so excited for Season 3 of She-ra! This semester has been wack but I have two exams to write and then FREEDOM! Thank you for all the comments and kudos on my last chapter! You are all amazing and thank you for sticking with me and my disorganized uploading schedule! 
> 
> You all give me motivation to keep going and I just want to make it very clear that I would never not finish a fanfiction. I will never abandon a work so please don't fret if I disappear because I swear the day I do abandon a work, assume I've been abducted by aliens. XD
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Stay healthy!  
> vanilla107  
> xoxo

The next couple weeks were ones of stress for Adora and Catra.

With exams coming up as well as having to go to court to face Shadow Weaver, they felt caged. The two didn’t want to take a leave of absence, something that Angella recommended, so that they wouldn’t have to deal with the pressures of exams, but they had both turned it down. If there was one thing they had in common, it was their stubbornness. They still wanted to complete their courses for the year and all be damned if they couldn’t.

But they began to regret not taking Angella’s advice.

On a Tuesday evening, the night before Adora’s last exam, the Politics major was woken up by her friend screaming and, leaping off the couch, she ran to Adora’s bedroom and woke up the blonde, who was covered in sweat. She had been screaming in her sleep and from what Catra could tell, it had been a nightmare…a bad one. The brunette walked the shivering girl to the bathroom, where Adora promptly sat on the cold tiled floor, curled up into a ball and cried.

“I know it’s stressful right now, but you can pull through. You have one more exam Adora. You can do this,” Catra said soothingly as she sat down next to her.

“Can’t it just go away already?” Adora hiccuped and Catra wrapped her arms around her.

“Sadly trauma doesn’t work that way,” she whispered and the Sports Science major sighed.

“Breathe with me,” murmured Catra and Adora nodded.

She synced her breathing with the feline’s, her heart gradually slowing down and her mind a little less foggy. Catra stood up and ran warm water over Adora’s face cloth and gently wiped away her tears and Adora gave her a weak smile. She held out her hand and the blonde accepted and they walked to the kitchen to make their nightly tea.

It had become a routine.

Nightmares plaguing them both at least twice a week, and during exam season, it was utter hell. Three weeks before exams started, they devised a plan because they knew they couldn’t go through their nightmares without each other. Catra had told Scorpia she needed to spend a few nights with Adora during exam season.

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask me sooner,” Scorpia said as she looked up from the cookbook and Catra raised an eyebrow.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I know your nightmares are things you like to deal with on your own but clearly you and Adora would get through it better together.”

“I- I wanted to ask you sooner...”

“But why didn’t you?” Scorpia asked softly.

“Because I hurt _you,_  Scorpia…I didn’t just hurt Adora, I lost one of my closest friends too. And I wanted to make it up to you by staying here-”

“Wait, that’s why you sat through three musical movies with me last week? And you hate musicals!”

“…Maybe? And I don’t _hate_ them…I just find it annoying that they have to burst into song at every moment…” the feline cringed at how stupid her response sounded.

Scorpia walked over to the feline and put her pincers on her shoulders.

“Catra, you don’t need to do that. Yes, you hurt me but you said sorry. It took me a while to understand why you did it and to process the information but I forgave you. You don’t have to buy me gifts or sit through musical movies with me to make up for it.”

“But I feel like I should do _something_ …”

Scorpia laughed.

“You really aren’t going to live this down are you? Okay fine, if you’re so set on it, then come over at least once a week to have dinner with Entrapta and I. Just to catch up and have a sense of normality in your dramatic life.”

Catra grinned and suddenly hugged Scorpia, the larger woman frozen in surprise.

“Thank you for everything, Scorpia. You’ve been amazing.”

“Wow, now you’re giving me _hugs_ , Kitty? Someone's getting soft!” she laughed but hugged the feline back.

Catra had packed a bag that same day and went to go live with Adora for the coming weeks. Glimmer decided to not get in their way and moved back to Angella’s house for the time being.

The two were grateful for their friends as well as the support they received from them.

There was a situation when Catra had a complete breakdown one evening and Adora had to call Scorpia and Entrapta over to help her. Bow and Glimmer took shifts to see how the two were doing during the period but there were days when they knew they couldn’t help but Adora was thankful either way. There was a part of Catra that made her happy to be living with Adora again but there was another part that reminded her that it was only temporary.

That she still needed to sort through her feelings and the list provided that safety but...seeing Adora walk around in a towel after a shower made her go almost _feral_. Or seeing the blonde’s fluffy bed hair and the 'good mornings' following a kiss to the cheek. It felt amazing but…she had been the one who asked for space.

And now she was _deeply_ regretting it.

“Hey Catra?” The feline looked up, her thoughts disrupted, as moonlight hit Adora’s tired face. She fiddled with her cup of tea, the question weighing on her mind.

“Yeah?”

“I know I’m asking a lot from you right now but…I was…I was wondering if…y’know if you want to, no pressure…you’d like to…to…” Adora sighed and took a deep breath.

“If you want to move back in…with me…”

Catra stopped breathing for a moment and Adora began stuttering.

“I mean…you...you don’t have too! I…I was just…just…forget I said anything!” she said quickly and Catra made her way over to the other side of the table and took her hands in hers.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush what we have going on right now,” Catra said earnestly.

“I’ve had some time to think of it…and I’d like you to live here again. I know it might cause issues with Scorpia…”

“I can talk to Scorpia about it. If anything…I think she would be ecstatic and Entrapta is moving in at the end of the month anyway. As long as I visit her often, it shouldn’t be a problem…she…she’d want me to be happy. And she knows I’m happy with you.”

Adora breathed a sigh of relief.

“What about Glimmer? I don’t want her feeling like she’s third wheeling constantly.”

“Oh, she told me this morning that she’s moving in with Bow once exams are done. They’ve become really good friends over the past couple months and…Glimmer was actually the person who suggested you moving back,” Adora said with a blush.

_Our friends really want us to be happy, Catra._

Catra was silent, pondering the idea in her head before smiling.

“Then yes, I’d love to move back with you.”

Adora looked up in shock and then a wide smile broke out on her face before crushing the brunette into a hug.

“You’re reacting like you didn’t expect me to say yes!” accused Catra before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

“I just wasn’t sure if you would want something like this so soon after everything,” Adora said, holding onto Catra like she never wanted to let go.

The feline melted into the embrace and breathed in the scent of the girl, the feeling of being safe and warm making her feel like a million tiny fires were lit inside her.

“As much as I want to stay with you like this right now…you need to sleep Adora.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do, _Princess_.”

“I am going to kick your _ass_ -“

“You can kick my ass after you pass your exam. Now let’s get your tea and your butt off to bed.”

Catra walked with Adora back to her room and was ready to leave when she felt a hand on her wrist.

“Stay with me? Just for tonight?” Adora asked quietly and Catra intertwined her fingers with Adora’s.

“You don’t need to ask.”

They cuddled up under the duvet and Adora soon fell asleep, her nightmares chased away with the sound of Catra's heartbeat in her her dreams.  

************************************************

The apartment door burst open and Adora flung herself on the couch.

“Yes! No more exams!” Adora squealed, Catra following behind her and closed the door.

“Yep, officially free but we do still have court…” Catra murmured and Adora threw a pillow at her.

“Hey! What was that for?” she yelled and threw the pillow back.

“Stop being a downer! I know that we have our court case soon but…let’s just celebrate for now.”

Catra looked at the blonde, her face a mixture of relief and pleading.

“Okay fine! What do you want to do?”

“Celebrate! In fact…I remember Perfuma is having her monthly party tonight! We should go!”

“You just remembered that? I haven’t been to one of her parties in ages,” Catra chuckled and Adora beamed.

“All the more reason to go!”

“Okay, I’ll go get ready.”

Half an hour later, Catra walked out the bathroom, hair styled and ready to go when she was tackled by Scorpia.

“Scorpia! What- what are you doing here?” she exclaimed, finding it difficult to breathe.

“It’s one of Perfuma’s parties so we have to go too! Adora’s getting some snacks and drinks with Bow and Glimmer and said we should meet there.”

“Oh that makes sense…wait…who’s ‘we’?”

“Catra! Hi!” came a voice from the kitchen and Entrapta appeared, her smile blinding.

Scorpia looked Catra up and down and let out a low whistle.

“Well aren’t you all dressed up tonight? Aren’t you glad I told you to pack in nice clothes?” she teased and Catra flushed, tugging at her tight black dress and shuffled in her black boots.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it!” Catra blurted out and Scorpia grinned before placing a pincer on her shoulder.

“You look great. I’m sure Adora will appreciate it. How are things between you two?”

“They…they’ve been really good…she…she actually asked me to move back in with her,” Catra whispered, a soft smile on her face.

“Catra! That’s great news!”

“It…it is…I’m just a little nervous that’s all…I know it’s been a month since Shadow Weaver got arrested and our court date is coming up soon but…I’m so afraid I’ll mess things up between us...that Adora takes the lead with everything! Holding hands, kissing me on the cheek and now she asked me to move back in with her!”

“Is…is that not a good thing?” asked Entrapta, her brow raised in confusion.

“No, it’s a bad thing! What if I never make a move? Adora can’t be the one to take the lead all the time…what if she thinks I’m uninterested?” Catra sat down on the couch with a huff, “I’m just scared all the time. I keep second guessing myself as well as the boundaries I put in place with her.”

“Boundaries?”

“I made a list of stuff she could do like kiss my cheek and hug and stuff. She wasn’t sure what to do after the whole Shadow Weaver thing and she kept having to ask me if hugs were okay! And I can't do this anymore! I want to kiss her so badly and…I’m a mess, aren’t I?”

Scorpia and Entrapta looked at each other before sitting next to the feline. Scorpia was just about to open her mouth to reply when Entrapta beat her to it.

“Catra…you aren’t a robot, right?” she asked and Catra looked at the girl in confusion.

“What? No…?”

“Well robots can’t feel emotion, currently. They do what they are programmed to do. They follow a routine and are destined to do the same thing over and over again.”

“Entrapta, I don’t know how this is supposed to help-”

“-But you are not a robot Catra. You have the option to not stick to a routine. You can do whatever you want. You have emotions and free will. Now what are your emotions telling you about Adora?”

“That…that I love her,” Catra said softly.

_There it is. Love._

“And you as a living breathing person can express those feelings.”

“But what if I mess up-?”

“You won’t. You’ve got a 100% chance of not messing this up. I’ve done the calculations,” Entrapta said with a wink, her hair forming heart outlines.

“Kitty, Entrapta is right. Messing up is part of growing up and you’ve messed up but you’ve grown too. Trust your gut.”

Catra allowed their words to sink in, a slow grin forming on her face.

“Fuck, I love you guys,” she breathed and they laughed.

“Come on. Let’s go!” said Entrapta excitedly and Catra locked up and they went on their way.

********************************

Catra hadn’t realized that Perfuma’s party was held at Mystacor until Scorpia parked outside the club. Before she could say anything, Scorpia filled her in.

“Perfuma wanted to go all out since exams are over and Glimmer cleared up the fight with Castaspella months ago. We're allowed to go in.”

Catra nodded and walked with the girls to the entrance and after checking their names on the guest list, walked into the club.

“Damn Perfuma really went all out…” Scorpia said as the lights flashed pink and blue and the music blared from the speakers. The faint smell of smoke from the smoking room was in the air but Catra was only looking for one person.

There was already a group of people on the dance floor, this included Adora and Bow. Catra couldn’t take her eyes off the blonde who was dressed in a red halterneck dress, showing off her toned muscles and long legs. Her hair was in a high ponytail and her make up was perfect.

Just like Adora.

Perfect.

Catra didn’t realize that she had been staring until a voice broke through her thoughts.

“Ohhhh someone’s got it _bad!”_ a voice cooed and Catra turned to face Perfuma, dressed in a sequined dress and giving the brunette a smirk.

“Okay look, just because Adora and I are on a good page does not mean anything-“ began Catra but was interrupted.

“-Nah, you’re totally whipped for her,” Mermista interrupted walking up to the group, her one arm linked in with Sea Hawk, a wide grin on her face.

“Mermista, nice to see you too…and you too Sea Hawk,” Catra said trough gritted teeth and Sea Hawk laughed.

“Catra, just go for it. I’m sure Adora would love to dance with you! In fact…I think she’s checking you out right now-”

“Oh my _God-!_ Can you all just shut up and go get a drink at the bar or something! I can’t do this feeling so flustered!” Catra yelled and Perfuma exploded into laughter.

“Okayyy…we’ll go but we’re watching youuuu!” she sang as she dragged everyone else to the bar.

The feline felt uncomfortably hot and waited for everyone’s attention to be on their drinks before she bee-lined to the nearest bathroom. Once she got in, she locked herself in a cubical and took in a deep breath.

“Catra, you don’t have to do anything with Adora. Just relax,” she told herself. Her stomach rolled in anxiety and she sighed. “How am I supposed to do this?” she murmured, leaning her head against the door.

“I want to be with Adora but this…this feels wrong somehow. I know our friends are only trying to help but...” she trailed off as she heard the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing.

The last thing she needed was to be talking to herself while a stranger was in the bathroom too.

“Catra? Are…are you in here? I…I saw you at the door but when I looked up again…you were gone.”

Adora's angelic voice filled the room and Catra sagged against the cubicle in relief.

“I’m here. I just needed some time alone,” the brunette responded with a heavy sigh.

“Are you okay? Do you want to go home?”

The concern in Adora’s voice made her want to kiss her but thinking of kissing her made her stomach knot.

“Can I have a hug?” Catra mumbled, feeling vulnerable.

“Well I can’t give you one until you’re out the cubicle,” Adora said and Catra could hear the cockiness in her voice.

“Very funny smartass,” Catra said with an eye roll as she unlocked the door and fell into the arms of the blonde, her tail wrapping around their legs.

The two were quiet for a while, Catra acknowledging that Adora was sweaty from dancing but not caring.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s on your mind? I was serious about going home in you want to,” Adora said into the feline’s hair Catra listened to Adora’s heartbeat before making her answer.

“Can we…go for a walk? It’ll be quick.”

“Sure.”

********************************

Fifteen minutes later, the two girls were walking down a path in the park. The same park that they would always go on dates.

_The perks of living in a university town…everything is close by,_ Catra thought.

Catra liked how she could feel the heat radiating off of Adora's body from how close they were standing together, and her anxiety slowly began to wear off. It was a warm evening, the clouds covering the stars but the moonlight still shining through. The smell of pine in the air and the two settled down on a bench, just off the pathway.

“Thanks for walking with me.”

“It’s what friends do, Catra. Now, are you ready to tell me what's wrong?”

Catra nodded and clasped her hands together.

“I…I’ve been wanting to talk to you…”

“Yeah…about what?”

“Remember the list of stuff that I gave you of things that was appropriate? Like cheek kisses and hugging?”

“Yes…is something wrong?”

“Adora, I want to change it.”

Adora looked surprised but nodded slowly, “Okay…what do you want to change?”

“Everything. The list doesn’t exist anymore.”

Adora’s face was one of confusion before the realization set in.

“Oh…okay…” she said, her mask of calm failing her as Catra heard the sadness in her tone, “If…if that’s what you want…”

“Wait! That’s not what I meant! Ugh! This was supposed to be easy!” Catra yelled and stood up and kicked a stray stone into the bushes. “I- I’m nervous! Making that list was the worst idea because _holy shit_ Adora, I want to kiss you _all the time!”_

There was a brief silence.

“You want to kiss me?” Adora whispered from her seat.

“Yes! Like actually make out with you and hold you and all the shit we used to do but I’m too scared!”

The Sports Science major grabbed Catra’s hand and led her back the bench, she sat down and fidgeted with her hands.

“Why are you scared?”

“Besides not wanting to mess up…it’s mainly the pressure.”

“The pressure from our friends?” Adora asked and Catra nodded.

“Yeah…I’ve felt it too. Glimmer and Bow would not stop talking about you while we were shopping.”

“Same with Scorpia, Entrapta, Mermista, Sea Hawk, Perfuma…”

Blue eyes met amber and blue ones and they laughed. It seemed so comical, that their friends wanted them to be together so badly that it only seemed to be suffocating them.

“That’s why I went to the bathroom. I felt like everyone was watching me, waiting for me to make a move but it was just…too much,” Catra confessed.

“Well…I’m happy you told me this. I’m _especially_ happy that I know you want to kiss me all the time,” Adora said a smirk on her face.

The feline’s head shot up and glared at the blonde in annoyance.

“I do not sound like that!”

“Oh _Adora_ , I’ve been wanting to kiss you for the longest time!” the blonde imitated and Catra playfully began to hit Adora on her arm.

“Shut up!” she said in between hits before Adora grabbed both of her hands and pulled her close, her eyes sparkling.

“Make me,” Adora said softly.

Their eyes made contact and Catra reached out and cupped Adora’s cheek, before tilting her head. Adora’s eyes flicked to Catra’s lips and she smiled.

“I love you, Catra.”

_She loves me. She loves me. She loves me. She loves me._

“I love you too.”

_I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her,_ Catra thought.

Their lips met and Catra felt the weight on her shoulders disappear. It felt right. It felt normal and she couldn’t have asked for a better kiss.

She didn’t need everyone watching.

She didn’t need the pressure.

Catra only wanted Adora.

Their kiss ended, her eyes still closed for a few seconds before opening.

“Can I ask you a question?” Catra murmured taking in the sight of the girl sitting across from her.

“You know you can,” Adora said, her thumb making strokes across the inside of her wrist, causing a shiver down her spine.

“Adora, will you be my girlfriend again?”

“I think you already know my answer, Catra,” Adora said with a wide smile.

“For all I know you could be pranking me so I had to make sure…”

“Catra... _what_ goes on in your mind?”

“Some very weird things. Grew up with a crazy woman, remember?”

Adora giggled and pulled the brunette in again, her lips ghosting hers briefly.

“Yes Catra. I’ll be your girlfriend on one condition...”

"And what would that be?"

"That you kiss me all the time now that we're dating again. I had to wait a really long time for you and you need to make it up to me!" 

"Adora, that is the _dumbest_ thing you could've asked for but I...totally agree as well. I promise, Princess. I promise."

And she sealed it with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEHEHEHE THEY ARE TOGETHER AGAIN WHOOOO. Not gonna lie, I like how Adora and Catra always meet in public toilets to talk things out. I sorta realized that when writing this XD. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this and if any of you are writing exams (like me) then I wish you luck! We can get through this!
> 
> Oh and if you want to talk to me about She-ra, BNHA or how your day was, then feel free to hit me up on Tumblr! I love making new friends in the fandom!


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